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I Can See Barack Obama’s Second Term From My Kitchen Window

By: Sarah JonesNov. 11th, 2011more from Sarah Jones

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The Three Blind Mice are now leading the GOP race for the presidential nominee according to a new CBS poll as Newt gains ground sucking off of Cain’s sexual harassment losses. So now we have Herm, Mitt and Newt. Newt, Herm and Mitt. Mitt, Herm and Newt. It sounds like a new kind of new preppy grain.

But no, this is the best and brightest of the Republican Party.

Herm is losing a bit of ground with women and Tea Partiers after the sexual harassment charges, and so we see Newt rounding the corner on the outside gaining speed on Herm. Mitt is the 2008 reject. Newt is a reject from way back. And Herm is…well, he’s the Palin factor. Apparently, for every election from now on the Republicans are going to need a Palin.

Oh joy.

Aside from Cain’s obvious problems with women and his inability to do math or answer problems on foreign policy or understand the economy, Cain suffers from a profound lack of seriousness.

Between his “Princess Nancy” comment and his doubling down on the suggestion that being accused of sexual harassment is a BONUS not a negative, he shows himself to be eagerly following in Sarah Palin’s Naughty Monkeys. Rile up the crowd, play to the fake resentments, blame Democrats for what your own party is doing to you, and get by with a wink and a jingle.

No one in the press has pushed Cain to explain why he feels free to demonize the “Democrat machine” even though he admitted he had NO proof that anyone in the Democratic Party was behind the revelations about his sexual harassment history. This is after he blamed Perry’s campaign for this and had to apologize.

Why is it acceptable for a potential world leader to blatantly lie about another person or party? Probably because his base (the Tea Party) suckles on the teat of their resentment like a starving baby. It’s been so long since they have been steeped in self-pity and rage! Why, I think it’s been since Sarah Palin blood libeled herself. But now, now they have Herman Cain and his mean accusers to hate on.

Yesterday Rush Limbaugh fell down on the sword of his own stupidity and revealed just how old he really is when he made some “joke” about the accusers synchronizing their periods. Meh. Not even bad enough to tick me off, Rush. You’re losing it (and proving that he doesn’t know diddly about a live woman’s cycle). However, I would like to point out that if they really were able to do that, I would suggest that Herman Cain and his enablers might wish Rush had never suggested it.

Perhaps they can make that happen at their press conference.

Back to the grain.

Mitt is hated by the Tea Party base and not exactly beloved but certainly backed by the party elite. It’s also “his turn” as they do it in the Republican Party (authoritarianism trumps merit). It doesn’t matter that he stands for nothing, knows only slightly more than Herm, and changes his positions more than Perry forgets his own. Mitt is losing ground among men, and in the Republican Party, that is soooo not good. As the men go, so goeth the party.

Cain (also called “Herm” by the trademark known as Sarah Palin) is loved by the Tea Party base, or was, after the failures of the other flavors of the week (Rick, Michele, Sarah). But we didn’t expect this one-night stand to last and it probably won’t. The majority of voters in the poll said his sexual harassment charges won’t impact their decision about him, and yet the support for him among women and Tea Party members and conservatives fell in the last month perhaps due to the 30 percent or so who said it would matter. Shhh, don’t tell them. You get into bed with – oh, never mind.

And then bringing up the rear, so to speak, is Newt. Mitt and Newt are now tied for second place (praise the gods that Barack was not named Skip). Newt is known as the “intellectual” of the Republican Party. What a prize. Remember, all things are not equal- this compliment is bestowed upon him as a matter of relativity. Newt, who cheated on his wife while leading the charge to bring down Clinton for the same and caused the destruction of the Republican Party back in the 90’s doesn’t seem ideal to lead the 2012 charge, but when have you ever known the pompous and privileged to doubt themselves?

With both Romney and Cain losing support in the last month and Newt gaining, we may be looking at a Newt v Mitt scenario (I’m sure nothing would please the party elites more than a bite of this fail sandwich; e.g., Republican strategist Steve Schmidt was all atwitter re Newt on MSNBC). I warned you (facetiously, or so I thought) on March 30 that Newt was a shoe-in for the nomination after he praised Governor Walker:

Newt Gingrich led the “Republican revolution” against President Clinton as Speaker of the House from 1995 to 1999 and resigned his seat in disgrace after bringing the Republican Party’s short majority to a close by trying to oust President Clinton from office over what turned out to be exceptionally hypocritical claims to family values, given that Newt left his first wife while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer in 1980 and then after marrying his mistress, cheated on her with a House of Representatives staffer 23 years younger than himself while he was screaming about Clinton’s blue dress. Newt has recently claimed that love for his country drove him to have these affairs.

In case you’ve been in a cave and forgotten just how petty Republicans can be, as he left, Newt whined, “I’m willing to lead but I’m not willing to preside over people who are cannibals. My only fear would be that if I tried to stay, it would just overshadow whoever my successor is.”

In our last flashback to Newt’s leadership skills — after all, praise should be vetted via the source — Newt shut down government after he felt slighted by President Clinton who refused to discuss the budget with Gingrich on the plane ride home following a funeral. In spite of having ruined the GOP with his pettiness and hypocrisy, Gingrich is still touting his shut down of government as “doing what Americans elected them to do” and says it was definitely not a mistake. In 1997, he also made history as the first Speaker to be disciplined for ethics violations. All of this should warn you that he is a shoe-in for the Republican candidacy.

And so it goes. Mitt, Herm and Newt. Coming soon to a GOP field near you while intelligent, coherent, and experienced candidates like Jon Huntsman get ignored. I can see Barack Obama’s second term from my kitchen window.

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I Can See Barack Obama’s Second Term From My Kitchen Window was written by Sarah Jones for PoliticusUSA.
© PoliticusUSA, Nov. 11th, 2011. All Rights Reserved

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