Goldilocks Gingrich vs Richie Rich Romney: Is This the Best You Got, GOP?

It’s that time again. Time for another show of hands for Mitt Romeny, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum or Ron Paul. From all appearances and most polls, the Florida primary outcome is going to look like a near reversal of the South Carolina primary results where Gingrich carried the day with a dominant 41-27 percent shellacking of Romney. The most recent NBC-Marist poll has the numbers virtually identical, but favoring Romney by a 42-27 count. Most other polls are in that same neighborhood.

Rick Santorum might capture some sympathy votes given his 3-year-old daughter’s recent hospitalization and Santorum’s decision to leave the campaign to be by her side. Now, I’m anything but a political fan of the Pennsylvania homophobe (see Jan. 29th), but I have to give Rick major props for putting family first as he faces what might be one of his last chances to prove his legitimacy as a candidate.

The prognosis for Dr. Ron Paul’s prospects? Terminal! It’s time for Last Rites. I know Paul is a Baptist and not a Catholic like Santorum and the newly converted Gingrich, but we’re all ecumenical here, right?  And, by golly, as long as he’s not a Muslim, or for more than a few right-wingers, a Mormon, Republicans are fine with it.

(Continued Below)

So it’s back to the big two.  At least one of them is starting to get downright giddy as the Florida campaign winds down. Speaking before an Orlando crowd of supporters, Mitt Romney actually referred to Gingrich as ‘Goldilocks’ opining as how Newt complains that he has trouble debating before both quiet and loud audiences. Romney went on to say, “He’s like Goldilocks –can’t have it this way, has to be just so.”

Maybe Newt can respond in kind. How about this broadside for Romney, “He’s like Scrooge McDuck; swimming around in his tax-free money.”  And there’s always Richie Rich. I’m starting to really enjoy this campaign; though I’m not sure ‘Goldilocks’ qualifies as name-calling.

Voting for either man is a fool’s errand. They’re both supremely unethical.  The Gingrich hucksterish CV reads like a career scam artist’s rap sheet. Where to start? Google Gingrich ethics violations and you’ll get 405,000 results. A few Gingrichisms for your consideration:

How about 22 bounced checks during the house banking scandal or his assorted questionable tax-exempt PACs and foundations?  There was that $300,000 ethics penalty and reprimand back in ’98. The one I really like is the Rupert Murdoch $4.5 million dollar offer of an advance on a book deal just as Murdoch-owned Fox Network was facing some legal challenges as a foreign owned TV Network, violating U.S. law. Gingrich met with Murdoch and a lobbyist on the subject. The deal was scrubbed when the media broke the story. In 1984, Gingrich had used publicly financed District office equipment in putting together two other books.

One final Gingrich salvo first reported in the Wall Street Journal; his second wife was hired by an Israeli company as an International Trade Consultant for $2,500 a month in 1994. Her previous experience was selling cosmetics out of her home. This was after Gingrich had pushed for a free trade zone in Israel. Take an afternoon off sometime and research his other questionable activities.

Then there was Mitt:

If the ‘Elite Media’ weren’t controlled almost completely by republican millionaires and billionaires (well over 90% of talk radio hosts are right-wingers), then maybe someone would volunteer to investigate one of the potentially hottest stories in decades. Just how compromised are Gingrich and Romney?  We’ve brushed over Newt, lets take a gander at Mitt. For Romney, it’s all about money. He lusts for the stuff – in huge amounts. And he wants to escape U.S. taxes at all costs. In my opinion, he is a world-class tax evader.

Come with me. First stop – The Cayman Islands. Romney has at least a dozen investment funds in the Caymans including a massive stash designed to shield his retirement IRA.

Other investment instruments can be found in tax-dodging havens Ireland, Germany, Luxembourg and Switzerland. Speaking of yodel central, Ann Romney has also taken a shine to Switzerland, the most secretive money shrine in the world. She supposedly had a $3 million account in a United Bank of Switzerland (UBS). That’s peanuts and I would absolutely question that amount…one investigative reporter Lord…just ONE!

As an aside, back in 2009, UBS was fined $780 million; I repeat, $780 million, for being the go-to bank for any wealthy American (and there were thousands) who wanted to get out of paying U.S. taxes. So the bank must have come highly recommended to the Romneys.

So who is the biggest flimflammer?  It’s a tie. I would suspect if anybody had the guts to really dig, the pair would be sharing a cell instead of stage.

Happy voting!

Image: LA Times

Recent posts on PoliticusUSA