No doubt about it, we’ve entered the post-2012 election goofy zone. Here is my condensed take on a few of the current preposterous headline issues.
Such an extravaganza. Generals who make love AND war simultaneously. A stock market’s precipitous plunge supposedly in reaction to not one but two terms for a black President. Barack Obama’s invitation to meet with Romney. States writing “I will secede” 25,000 times on their racists social ‘black’boards and BP parting with a few bucks for carelessly destroying the irreplaceable in the gulf.
So much crap; so little time. Lets start with the duplicitous debauchery of Dave Petraeus. The fallout from his ill-advised affair(s) will be fairly minimal. Adultery is, indeed, an Army ‘no no’ within the upper echelon of Generals, but unless it brings great shame on the military, it will be overlooked and under-prosecuted. He does give up around $235,000 yearly by hanging up his spiffy outfit, but still basks in a retirement package that pays him $220,000 for the rest of his days. He can even double-dip and take a second job. “Fries with that, sir?”
Fair warning, Holly P. can snatch 50% of that pension in a divorce settlement.
As for the Stock Market, a gathering fiscal avalanche appears to be picking up negative steam daily. SUCKA’S!!! Yes, the Dow lost over 330 points in a single day sell-off, post-election and is waaaay off its high under Obama, but let’s take a peek into the back rooms of high-end investment houses. Anybody remember the housing bubble? As it was approaching its nadir, big name stock brokers were still heartily recommending the purchase of various housing and mortgage-backed securities and other instruments, while simultaneously dumping their stash before the bottom fell out.
In the wake of the Obama election, the big boys were once again presented the prefect vehicles to fill their coffers by creating a phony ‘Bear’ market. As the current sleuth of bears go to work, they hysterically blame the seemingly endless (and manipulated) market plunges on everything from Barack’s second term, the prospect of recession leftovers and the Bush tax cut expiration to a grass fire in Wood River, Nebraska. Clever bears and short sellers use any period of uncertainty to interrupt their hibernation, prowl Wall Street to scare investors into divesting their holdings, then return to their mansions for a long and lucrative sleep, waking up in time to swoop in and snatch up deeply discounted quality stocks.
With a modest gain Friday, the smart money may have decided the 658 point 11/7-11/16 fall is enough of bargain basement pricing for the short buy back. It could also be a reactionary sell-off for bargains as opposed to a months long bear. In either case, the Romney types will come out of this faux market disaster with cumulative billions.
That brings me to Barack’s announced intention to meet with Mitt Romney. Quoting Barack, “We may have battled fiercely, but its only because we love this country deeply.” If love is dodging tax obligations for decades, accumulating vast wealth in the sleaziest manner possible and accusing the President of ‘gifting’ his voters, then yes, Mitt adores America. A question for our dear leader. What on earth would you talk about? Still mourning his loss, Mitt would insist that the meeting take place in his California home. Barrack would fly to Mitt’s La Jolla home and maneuver through the phalanx of Romney’s bully sons, at least one of whom wants to take a swing at him. Then there’s dodging whatever Cadillac Ann is driving that day as she takes dead aim at Barack crossing the driveway leading to the car elevator.
Barack, I strongly encourage you to read the wonderfully revealing November 15th piece on Mitt and his possible future legal troubles by PoliticusUSA staffer, Rmuse. Yes, Mitt can tell you where to hide your money to avoid paying taxes. He can counsel you on ripping Obamacare asunder. He can personally demonstrate how you can campaign on saving an international sporting event even though virtually all the credit belongs to the federal government he purports to hate. It’s a non-starter Mr. President. You know everything Romney stands for and you don’t agree with any of it. Frankly, I’d consider such a meeting an affront to those who supported you through good times and bad and subsequently voted you back into office.
Is this your reward for those supporters who waited in voting lines as long as 8 hours?
This might surprise you, but I salute the secession movement. The exact percentage of certifiable loonies had always escaped me up to this point. All I have to do now is count the number of signatures on each state’s secession petitions and I’ll know right down to the last signature, the order of the nuttiest states in our union. All 50 states have secession petitions floating around.
A state needs 25,000 signatures in order to make its request official. The deadline for submission is December 11th. The head nutbag then sends this multi-paged hunk of civics off to the President for his “review.” The latest Texas count is in the neighborhood of 113,000 according to a site called the “AK Files” that keeps a running tally of signatures. The next highest total of from Louisiana with 36,000. Some 8 states have exceeded the required number. Others have barely made a dent in their signature attempts. It appears that about half the states won’t make the magic number.
Other than being a proud KKK moment, the petitions serve no other purpose. Roughly 230 million U.S. citizens are of voting age. About 120 million or so voted in the last election. I imagine you could find 25,000 low information, self-abusers in a bunch of states, so I would realistically estimate that citizens beyond repair would be well into modest single digits. Not worth the bother. So, the secession movement is a silly diversion, though it does force us to acknowledge that there remains a hyperactive fringe out there. It won’t cost me a millisecond of sleep, however. Here’s my public service for Politicus readers. You can go to the White House Petition site at https://petitions.whitehouse.gov. There are a number of interesting petitions you can sign including one petition that strips citizenship from anyone who signs a secession petition and gives it over to someone waiting to enter America. I suggest you pay the site a visit if only out of curiosity. You can even mount your own petition.
Finally, there’s the pathetically inadequate “fine” for BP’s role in the Deepwater Horizon explosion way back in April of 2010. It’s $4.5 billion with 4 billion of the total to be paid off in 5 yearly installments. Louisiana gets $1.2 billion for coastal recreation and protection. National Fish and Wildlife gets $2.4 billion. In an obscene money trade-off, BP buys off upper management hard time for 11 deaths and a minimum of 17 injuries and lying to Congress about the extent of the spill. Apparently a lower management guy and a worker or two are going to take the fall.
There’s a civil case scheduled for next February 25th, but the Clean Water Act includes caps in place on BP payouts if the company escapes a grossly negligent verdict. There would still be a $5 billion dollar payout but if found grossly negligent, BP parts with as much as $21 billion. State actions are pending and BP will end up paying about $30 billion when it’s all said and done. Last year’s revenues? Nearly a quarter of a TRILLION. They’ll survive.
So there you have it. My painful potpourri of pitiless political perfidy. Enjoy!