It is indicative of conservative hatred of Hollywood and of Republican myopia in general, that you find on FoxNews.com a list of the “dumbest celeb quotes of 2012” but no corresponding list of the dumbest Republican quotes of 2012. You can be sure the latter outshine the former.
Sure, Paris Hilton offended many when she said “Gay guys are…disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS” but I can match that with any Republican comment on rape. And yeah, Justin Bieber didn’t show a lot of brights when he said, referring to the Sistine Chapel, “I’m not going for the Sixteenth Chapel.” but how bright is Mitt Romney when the best thing he can find to say about Michigan is, “This feels good, being back in Michigan. You know, the trees are the right height”?
What makes such a list problematic is the sheer abundance of stupid things Republicans said during the course of 2012. From the local, state, and federal levels, there are literally scads of outrageously stupid comments to choose from. I mean, look, we’re talking about a party that produces people like Ann Coulter (“We just want Jews to be perfected, as they say”) and Michele Bachmann (“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas”).
It was not easy to pare down to ten a list from literally hundreds of candidates, but out of patriotism and love of country I have decided to make such a list rather than, like Newt Gingrich (talk about dumbest quotes), drop my pants to as many women as I can:
“There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate. And what I can tell you is that when I did things that were wrong, I wasn’t trapped in situation ethics, I was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them.” (March, 2011).
My own list ultimately comes down to two categories: Republican comments on rape and Mitt Romney. The rape category doomed several Republican campaigns directly and indirectly probably affected the presidential elections. Why Republicans would choose to follow in the foosteps of Ken Buck (“A jury could very well conclude that this is a case of buyer’s remorse … It appears to me … you invited him over… the appearance is of consent.” –October 2010 ) and Clayton Williams (“If it’s inevitable, just relax and enjoy it” – mid 1990 Gubernatorial race in Texas) is anyone’s guess. And it didn’t work for Sharron Angle to suggest rape victims make rape lemonade in 2010, but maybe they figure trying the same thing will lead to different results, or maybe they just can’t help but be stupid.
And Romney…Romney is a genre unto himself. He certainly doomed his own campaign through an inability to articulate any ideas at all. That’s assuming he had any actual ideas, which cannot be proven. It is impossible to know why the things that came out of his mouth came out of his mouth, but they did, and they were a gift that kept on giving, right up to the day he stopped talking to protect himself from himself.
So without further ado, here are my Top 10 Dumbest Republican Quotes of 2012:
10. Chuck Winder (R-ID): “I would hope that when a woman goes in to a physician with a rape issue, that physician will indeed ask her about perhaps her marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a marriage or was it truly caused by a rape. I assume that’s part of the counseling that goes on.” – March 2012
9. Rick Santorum: “I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you… rape victims should make the best of a bad situation.” – January, 2012
8. Mitt Romney: “I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.” – January 2012
7. Mitt Romney: “I’m not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there.” — January 2012
6. Roger Rivard (R-WI): “Some girls rape easy.” – October 2012
5. Mitt Romney: “I went to a number of women’s groups and said ‘Can you help us find folks?’ and they brought us whole binders full of women.” —October, 2012
4. Richard Mourdock (R-IN): “I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.” – October 2012
3. Todd Akin (R-MO): “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down” – mid 2012 Senate Campaign
2. Mitt Romney: “As president, I will create 12 million new jobs.” —Second presidential debate
1. Mitt Romney: “Government does not create jobs. Government does not create jobs.” — 45 minutes later (Oct. 16, 2012)
I cannot drop this subject without giving honorable mention to one of my favorite Romney quotes of 2012:
Mitt Romney: Mocking a group of NASCAR fans wearing plastic ponchos, “I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.”
And now it is time to buckle yourself in for a scary, fun-filled ride through the Republican brain of 2013. We here at PoliticusUSA will be with you every step of the way.