Ben Quayle’s Conservative Values as Non-Existent as His Rent-a-Family

Last updated on February 4th, 2013 at 09:55 pm

Ben Quayle Shames His Father's Already Tarnished Legacy

“I know I have a big target on my back.” – Ben Quayle

Apparently you can rent values. Ben Quayle has already shown you can rent a family.

Let’s face it. Jokes abound. This latest Right-wing Family Values scandal comes to us via the son of one of the biggest gaffsters in Republican history, Dan Quayle. Ben is a chip off the old block.

In fact, at just 33-years-of-age, he has already surpassed daddy.

Ben wants voters in Arizona’s 3rd Congressional District to send him to Congress. He would seem to be in the right state. So far, so good.

He wants it so badly he’s willing to call out President Obama, because as we all know, nothing fires up the conservative masses like attacks on the President. Especially in Arizona. In his new ad he says that “Barack Obama is the worst president in history,” and pausing for effect, he adds, “And my generation will inherit a weakened country.”

Yes, young Ben hates Obama so much that he can’t wait for those rabid Arizona Republicans to send him east so he can “knock the hell out of Washington.”

Crack! Knock it outta the park, Ben!

Ooops! Not so fast…

Ben has a problem. He probably can’t find his way there.

By his own admission (after initial denials), writing as Brock Landers for what is now TheDirty.com, Ben bragged, “my moral compass is so broken I can barely find the parking lot.”

You probably can’t find Washington D.C. then either, Ben.

Of course, that’s far from Ben’s only problem. A few days before this scandal broke, his campaign sent out a mailer showing Ben and his wife – and their two young girls. The caption read: “We are going to raise our family here.”

The fly in the buttermilk is that Ben and his wife don’t have any daughters – no children at all. The girls were his nieces.

His rent-a-family, as rival Vernon Parker quipped.

One of Ben’s ads shows him saying, “I grew up watching my dad fight for conservative values.”

Yes, but you apparently didn’t learn much, Ben. Your dad, for all his many faults, didn’t write for outfits like TheDirty.com rating women’s bodies and bragging about broken moral compasses. And he didn’t compare himself to one of Michelangelo’s works on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

The primary is August 24 and early voters are already casting their ballots. This isn’t good timing for Ben, who is a lawyer, but who apparently skipped Ethics 101 while he was in school.

He’s been caught out as a liar – repeatedly – in the space of just a few days. He apparently wants to see how far he can shove his foot into his own mouth.

So far, so good. Let’s see how far you can get it in there, Ben.

Daddy went down in flames in 1992. It’s looking like Ben’s may burn down before it even gets off the ground. After all, he has never held public office before.

He probably never will.

Hrafnkell Haraldsson

Hrafnkell Haraldsson, a social liberal with leanings toward centrist politics has degrees in history and philosophy. His interests include, besides history and philosophy, human rights issues, freedom of choice, religion, and the precarious dichotomy of freedom of speech and intolerance. He brings a slightly different perspective to his writing, being that he is neither a follower of an Abrahamic faith nor an atheist but a polytheist, a modern-day Heathen who follows the customs and traditions of his Norse ancestors. He maintains his own blog, A Heathen’s Day, which deals with Heathen and Pagan matters, and Mos Maiorum Foundation www.mosmaiorum.org, dedicated to ethnic religion. He has also contributed to NewsJunkiePost, GodsOwnParty and Pagan+Politics.