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Beware of Creepy Rape Van Guy and His Pick Up Artist Cult

By: Sarah JonesFeb. 1st, 2013more from Sarah Jones

In case you were wondering why there’s been an onslaught of bitter, still-virginal young “men” operating under the belief that you’ll go out with them if only they insult you the right way, there’s a reason for this trend.

They might be fresh out of a very expensive class by “Pick Up Artist” “Jeffy” Allen, explained by Katie J.M. Baker at Jezebel as such:

Jeff “Jeffy” Allen is a big league pick-up artist instructor who has published multiple books and DVDs on the craft of treating women like shiny gold coins in a video game. He’s also the owner of San Francisco’s well-known “Freedom Van,” which he calls his “rape van,” and a pathetically avid OkCupid troll. Please stay far, far away from him.

Jeffy has been sucking the sweetness out of geeky boys since 2002, and filling it with wannabe bad boy boldness, albeit ironically sans the raw tenderness beneath the bad boy exterior that is the actual honey, but you can’t fix stupid.

“Jeffy is an instructor for Tyler Durden’s company – Real Social Dynamics. He is best known for his work on the seminar series “The Jeffy Show” and also his book “9-ball”, both published and released by RSD. Also, “Despite a traumatic childhood, Jeffy has risen to become one of the best PUAs (Pick Up Artists) in the industry.” Translation: In desperateville, alleged pick up artists have been teaching insecure virgins to be a huge douchebags so that they can get laid.

Said pick up artist charges between $169 / $269 for a DVD of him offering up the gold:

Jeffy Quotes

Irrelevant. Time to f*ck!

Cut the shit. Time to f*ck!

[Insert excuse here]. Time to f*ck!

At RSD, they teach men that women will put up fake defenses against sex, which might explain why that seemingly nice young man who asked you out in a bizarrely aggressive way also thought that it was his job to have sex with you even if you didn’t want it:

Before sex, anti-slut defense often manifests as token resistance put up by the woman to demonstrate that they resisted the sexual advances, which helps absolve them of their guilt of sex, which originates mostly from social programming. Post-sex ASD often involves justifications for the sex act: “It just happened,” “he wouldn’t give up,” “I was really drunk,” etc. PUAs should take this tendency of women into consideration, and make sex as easy for her as possible by taking the lead and responsibility for sex, and providing her with convenient excuses for sleeping with them.

If Jeffy’s real life dating experience on OkCupid is anything to go on, if the girl rejects his douchey advances or even just douchey date, the guy should tell her she’s fat. Watch Jeffy model this winning behavior after being rejected on OkCupid:

Jeffy, proving himself to be a Real Man, “Why am I not surprised. Eat a bag of dicks” “Also, I guarantee your date with me would be far more horrifying than these last two amateurs you went out with. I drive a fucking RAPE VAN. Ps you’re fat.” This is the guy teaching other guys how to be “confident”, because apparently confident men act like spoiled losers when they don’t get what they want right now.

Here’s a hint to those who’ve wasted money morhping from awkward but charming to Supreme Douche ala Jeffy: We see you.

We know that you are not asking us out because you love our minds. We know that as much as you complain that girls don’t like nice guys, you really wouldn’t know because you are not very nice to girls. But we cut you slack because we know that you don’t even know that you objectify women as you complain about how they won’t see past your exterior. She must be HOT and NICE, whereas you need be neither.

If she won’t give you hot and nice, then you’ll pout and call her ugly and fat. Maybe throw in “whore” for good measure, which makes absolutely no sense except that you fear that she is giving it to everyone but you, which is certainly possible (read “probable” if you are anything like Jeffy). Apparently after displaying these juvenile hysterics, Jeffy’s cult will be almost like a real man, only without honor, dignity and character (attractive traits a geek often has on his own, without paying anyone).

At any rate, this is a public service announcement about rape van guy in San Fransisco, but also his devotees. Beware: Just because the guy is “dark” and different doesn’t mean he’s better. “Quirky” can be sick, too, though Jeffy gets points for not having a shot gun on the floor next to him as he laughs about raping a dead girl. Just not enough points.

Related issue: It looks like the Senate passed the Violence Against Women Act, but then it will go to the Republican led House to die so that Jeffy and his rape van are protected.

Geeky boys, you are better than Jeffy. Really.

Image: Jeffy’s “rape van” via MissionMission

Beware of Creepy Rape Van Guy and His Pick Up Artist Cult was written by Sarah Jones for PoliticusUSA.
© PoliticusUSA, Feb. 1st, 2013. All Rights Reserved

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