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Colbert Nails it: ‘None of the Above’ is a Better Choice Than Romney for Republicans
By: Hrafnkell HaraldssonJul. 18th, 2012more from Hrafnkell Haraldsson

Romney isn’t looking like much to root for at the moment. It’s unclear whether Republicans driven purely by hatred for Obama have noticed by now that Romney never says the same thing twice, but when you’re the Republican presidential nominee (and Romney is sure to be) and George F. Will not only says Romney is losing the argument on Bain Capital but criticizes him for not releasing his tax returns, it’s time to reassess his approach.
As Sarah Jones wrote here the other day, the Romney campaign is turning into the Republican Party’s worst nightmare. But to paraphrase the Beef Council: Romney. It’s what’s for nomination. Not a palatable choice when so many people are asking, where’s the beef?
But the GOP is stuck with Romney now. We’re past the point at which they can reasonably say, “Oh my God, what have we done?” Most people would say that with the final sputtering of Ron Paul in Nebraska, Romney has a clear and unimpeded shot at the nomination.
But Stephen Colbert says, not so fast – at least in Nevada. Watch the video from The Colbert Nation:
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“You know, after two years and billions of dollars, our presidential election is going to come down to a few undecided voters in key swing states. The fate of our country is now in the hands of the people who don’t think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonalds.
“And one of those key swing states is Nevada where, since 1978, their presidential election ballot gives voters the option to choose ‘none of the above’. But now folks, the Nevada Republican Party has gone to court to have ‘none of the above’ taken off the ballot because, as the National Journal put it, “In Nevada, ‘none’ is a fearsome foe for the GOP”.
“That’s right; Nevada Republicans are scared that none of the above could take votes from Mitt Romney. And folks, I tell ya, I think they’ve got grounds here. Remember, Mitt’s not telling us how he’s going to fix the economy, or what tax-loopholes he’s going to close or what his immigration policy is going to be. The whole message of his campaign is ‘I’m not Barack Obama’ and you can’t get more ‘Not Barack Obama’ than no-one.
“And folks, this guy, this guy right here, he’s got the conservative credentials that Romney lacks. I mean, you wanna talk small government this guy believes in ‘none’ government. And here’s what I think Romney’s gotta do: ‘none of the above’ is so appealing to Republican voters I believe Mitt Romney has gotta choose him as his running mate. I mean, look at who he is considering now: Portman, Pawlenty and Jindal? They wish they had the charisma of ‘none of the above’.
“Although of course I can’t say for sure that ‘none of the above’ would even accept the VP slot because despite repeated calls he has not made himself available to the press, which kinda makes you wonder if there’s nothing he’s not hiding.”
Romney is a guy who won’t run based on his record as governor of Massachusetts. He can’t do that. As governor of Massachusetts Romney was basically a liberal. Fellow candidate Newt Gingrich called him a liberal governor; World Net Daily complains he was liberal-friendly; the Washington Post says that while governor, Romney went to efforts to reassure liberals. Who reassures liberals? You don’t reassure them – you bend them to your will. As the Tea Party would say, this isn’t about reassurance; this is about complete and total domination.
So Romney says ‘I can’t talk about being governor but I can talk about Bain. I was great at Bain!’ So he is presidential material because of his career at Bain. But he says we can’t talk about Bain. He can brag about Bain but we can’t ask him about it.
And now we know why: he outsourced jobs. He says he retired retroactively but as has been pointed out, he signed documents as CEO of Bain while he was allegedly retired. No matter how you look at it, Mitt lied to someone, either to Bain or to the SEC. The Obama campaign isn’t joking when it talks about legal troubles.
Romney says he won’t release his tax returns because Kerry’s wife didn’t release her’s, even though he’s running for president and Kerry’s wife wasn’t. Now he says he might release them after the convention. I guess until then Republicans just have to trust that he’s not lying to them about his taxes like he lied to them (or to the SEC) about working at Bain. Like he lied to them about being a conservative. Like they already think he’s lying to them about being a Christian.
Right now is not a good time to be a Republican. No wonder: Republicans have a candidate they were never sure they wanted in the first place. It’s no surprise that ‘none of the above’ might look good to them right about now.
I’ve got an idea: rather than striking ‘none of the above’ off the ballots in Nevada, perhaps they should think about adding it in every other state.
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dcl
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 7:56 am
I wish that the U.S. had a “none of the above” option on every election that, if it received a majority of the vote, would invalidate the election and cause it to start over. Right now we have corporate idiot #1 running against corporate idiot #2 and people think they have to choose one or the other. This cycle is the same. I think Obama is a horrible corporatist, but there is no way I am going to vote for Romney when his whole agenda will be setting up sweet deals for his friends.
Sally
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 8:18 am
I think Obama is for the people, but has had to learn to play some games to survive. Romney, though, is the guy at the poker table who beats you because he plays with his cards, distracts you with fables from his work history, whines about the cost of a good sommelier for his fourth mansion, and then steals all your money. And laughs ghoulishly. For as many enemies as he must have made over the years, he must have really alert bodyguards.
Reynardine
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 8:25 am
Somehow, I see this as a scene from a movie called Clue, with Romney cast as Mr. Boddy.
Rho
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 8:50 am
There are 42 other parties in the US to choose from, so let’s let the big boys in the big 2 remember that things were not always like this. We might not still have Federalists, and even though the Whig party was popular in the 1820s, they are still around. The Greens and Reformists are still out there. Learn about these independents and how the media seems to conveniently “forget” about them. The playing field needs to be leveled, and knowledge is power. We can be more powerful than they ever considered in their wildest nightmares. There are more than two options, let’s us them!
reformparty.org/
A Walkaway
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 11:02 am
While I’d be glad that the Republicans throw away their votes on a third party, if Democrats do that, you (we) can kiss your (our) freedom goodbye.
The two parties are nowhere near alike. One is for people, the other for corporations. One (at least the liberal part) is for freedom, the other would have theocracy and our lives sold to the corporations for profit.
Dice
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 5:30 pm
“One is for people, the other for … [sale].”
Middle Molly
Jul. 19th, 2012 at 3:09 am
Voting for a third party candidate for President is throwing your vote away, and, if you consider yourself more “progressive”, it is the same as a vote for Romney.
Now: Let’s remember how coalitions work in countries with many active, viable parties: Parties make coalitions. But the Prime Ministers are usually still a member of one of the two (sometimes three) big parties. Since 1935, the Prime Minister of Great Britain, for example, has either been from the Conservative or the Labour party.
I would suggest that people who support or are involved with third parties start to work together and gain strength at the local levels.
Right now, with so much at stake, I see third party presidential candidates as almost traitorous. Jill Stein, for example, talks about a 30% reduction in defense. As budgets have to start in the House of Representatives, how in the world would she possibly get even a 2% reduction in defense? Who would support her in anything? And it’s going to be hard enough, with these Republicans around, to keep the automatic defense cuts that were negotiated as part of last year’s debt ceiling mess. Why does she think she could do any better than Obama in dealing with this Congress?
And, unless all of the Democrats work like the blazes and get elected, the next Congress won’t be much better. She calls herself a “genuine champion of the working people”. Oh, please.. If she gets more than a few votes here and there, this champion of the working people could throw the election to Romney. And if she really feels that “Obama is just a servant of Wall Street” (despite the big bucks pouring to Romney), she has her head up her rear and is really too clueless to be President of the local block club much less Prez of this country.
Nebroxah
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 11:05 am
Bush lied, people died.
Mitt lied, people got outsourced.
Clinton lied about an affair.
Is it any wonder the phrase “Honest Politician” is just something you never hear?
Obama may have lied about something, but so far hasn’t been caught (unless you’re a Birther). Heck, even then, considering the track record he would have were Obstrucitonism not the Republicans’ strategy-of-choice, many of us might be willing to overlook that anyway.
Nomad
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 11:26 am
He forgot to mention that the pro-lifers and the Christian Right wing are slowly beginning to understand they too have been conned by Romney. His investment in Stericycle blew his evolved opinion on abortion and his pro-life image to smithereens.
The gun-toting NRA members were glum when he spoke there too. It’s funny that with all those debates and the primaries the best they could do was to weed out the clowns and in the end all they had left was a man who could be anything and nothing.
Hrafnkell Haraldsson
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 12:47 pm
Although he did just have a private meeting with hatemonger Tony Perkins, who is about as Christian Right Wing as you can get: www.alternet.org/story/15...
majii
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 3:57 pm
“Political Wire” had poll results today comparing the enthusiasm of republican and democratic voters. If the poll’s results are accurate, republican enthusiasm for Romney is @36%. Many republicans are prone to buying “pigs in pokes.” They vote for politicians if the politicians say they’re pro-life, hate LGBTQ Americans, are anti-immigrant/Muslim/POC/tax, and claim to be Christians. It doesn’t seem that it takes much more than these qualities to convince them to support any GOP candidate. I don’t think they linger very long on wondering whether the individual is good at governing. Many republicans think GWB was our greatest president, but what I don’t understand is that, if they really believe this, why isn’t he and Cheney stumping for Romney? I think deep inside of themselves, they know GWB was a failure as president. They have problems admitting it to themselves, so they think their best move is avoid being seen with Cheney and GWB in public in an election year.
majii
Jul. 18th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
*their best move is to avoid*
Inez
Jul. 22nd, 2012 at 10:04 pm
What is Romney’s platform? Denegrade the middle class. Shut down the Unions. Findjobs which cAN BE OUTSOURCED. Kill Medicare and it’s recipents. Increasetax cuts for the rich(and infamous). Reduce the Educational budget. Shut down the EPA!Permit Fracking anywhere the company wants to operate. Kill Obamacare! Reduce funds for roads and bridges an so on.