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Mitt Romney Hides His Tax Returns Behind a Stack of Buttermilk Pancakes
While Americans are still demanding that he release his tax returns, Mitt Romney went on national television to discuss the virtues of buttermilk pancakes.
Almost 2/3 of Americans say they want to see Mitt Romney’s tax returns, but Romney instead decided to perform a skit straight out of the 1950s starring Mitt, Ann, and Fox News Sunday’s Chris Wallace.
As our scene opens Mitt and Ann are making pancakes,
MITT ROMNEY: It’s not hot enough.
WALLACE: Inside, they were making Mrs. Romney’s trademark buttermilk pancake. She prepares the batter. He cooks them.
M. ROMNEY: I know it’s a little early. It’s a little early. Ann is taking a look. I’m just going to do it anyway, see?
WALLACE: Honestly, this is the first time you ever done this in your life?
Did Mitt Romney just admit that this whole thing is staged? C’mon Mitt, you are supposed to act like you do this every Sunday. When Chris Wallace asked is the first time you’ve ever done this in your life, the correct answer would have been, “No, we do this every summer.” Not ha-ha-ha, busted.
The story continued with the Romneys saying more about pancakes than they ever have about their tax returns,
WALLACE: The governor served up the pan cakes and that started the first controversy of the day.
A. ROMNEY: Chris, a real maple syrup guy? This we tell you is New Hampshire maple syrup.
WALLACE: Well, is there any other kind?
A. ROMNEY: Yes, there is Vermont.
WALLACE: Vermont is a swing state.
A. ROMNEY: Right.
WALLACE (voice-over): Maple syrup from any state wasn’t what the governor wanted.
A.ROMNEY: Are you putting peanut butter on my pancake?
M. ROMNEY: I’m not going to put in on Chris, don’t worry, honey.
WALLACE: I decided to get off that sticky subject by quickly eating my pancakes.
(on camera): That’s good.
A.ROMNEY: Yummy, isn’t it?
WALLACE: That is delicious.
Look, no one cares about how Mitt Romney feels about buttermilk pancakes. Voters do care about what is in the soon to be Republican nominee’s tax returns. America doesn’t elect presidents based on their choice of breakfast foods, but most voters think it is important to know whether or not one of the candidates for president is a tax dodger.
Mitt Romney is trying to distract voters with pancakes, and staged skits straight out of an episode of Leave It To Beaver, when his constant evasiveness about his tax returns plays more like an episode of Law and Order.
The image consultants are hard at work trying to turn Thurston and Lovie Howell into Ward and June Cleaver. Romney has gotten so desperate that he is hoping that if America likes him more, they will stop asking about his tax returns.
The pancake defense isn’t going to work. Behind the stack of flapjacks, questions remain about Mitt Romney’s tax returns. No amount of pancakes will ever make America like Mitt Romney.