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Post Debate Male Pundits Speak for Women Voters and Get It All Wrong
By: Sarah JonesOct. 17th, 2012more from Sarah Jones
Romney’s condescending attitude toward women was bad enough last night, but what really got me was listening to male pundits discuss how women voters were no doubt put off by the “petty” bickering of the two candidates. Just two weeks ago, they were telling us that Romney won over female voters by being an alpha male, but suddenly when the President engages in the fight, it’s off-putting to us, according to them.
I wasn’t focused on how they spoke to each other, though petty is not a word I would use for a fight that the media brought on with their two week “weak” “passive” beating of Obama. I was too busy thinking about how Romney wouldn’t answer the question on gun control (neither candidate wanted to go near that one) and how he so easily slipped into blaming single mothers for the problem of gun violence. I was stunned by his comments about women in binders — he clearly assumes that women are so dumb they won’t hear what he didn’t say about his actual policy of not supporting equal pay. And I felt nothing but solidarity with Candy Crowley when he attempted to shame and belittle her for doing her job.
So, no. I wasn’t thinking about how “petty” it was for the two candidates to be fighting it out – that is what the media demanded. They wanted good TV and they got it. Some of us were actually listening to the policies in the first debate and were none too impressed with Mitt Romney’s bully routine, but the media wanted bully boys – they made that clear when they crowned Romney, who brayed and lied his way through the entire debate – the “winner”. This, in and of itself, reeks of patriarchal values — and they can’t even see it.
Less concerned with a boxing match to appease the media’s need for ratings through election season or how impressed they are by regressive alpha male behavior, I was worried about my friends who are single mothers. I was thinking about what my best friend would do without Planned Parenthood for her cervical cancer screening. I was imagining being one of those women in a binder and wondering how Romney treated the women who worked for him. I was thinking I would not want to work for that man. And then I thought I don’t want that man to work for me, represent me.
Having male pundits discuss women voters was the last insult of the night, after Romney dragged us back to the cave with his binders and not even being for the right of women to fight back when they find out they are being paid less for the same job. He wants us kept as pets dependent upon a male provider.
Some of us don’t want to marry a man for security. Some of us want to be independent because we like it that way (and no, it’s not because we can’t get a man as the Right likes to gloat). Others of us have children depending on our paycheck and others have a spouse depending on our paycheck. How can he be alive in these times and be unaware of these facts and how can women be undecided?
Oh, that’s right — because our media has not informed them. They are still unsure who supports equal pay and birth control, as if the media doesn’t have a record on these matters with which to inform the voters. Why do that when Fight Club can be had? It’s easy to focus on the Big Show when your rights – your actual life, in fact – aren’t at risk.
What in the heck is going on in this country — why is someone who believes what Mitt Romney does about women anywhere near the White House and who are these male pundits who think that they can speak for women voters and yet when they do, always seem to manage to use us to tout what serves their media outlet best instead of really hearing us?
The only people who stood up for women last night were Candy Crowley with her refusal to be bullied by either candidate and President Obama refusing to let Romney force him into throwing Hillary Clinton under the bus. Romney just assumed that Obama would do as he would have done, and toss Clinton to the wolves to save his own skin, but instead Obama took responsibility as the President. That’s the same kind of behavior that would lead to a man taking responsibility for other things in his life, like his children. It’s ironic, no? The family values candidate doesn’t actually value the things that make a family work in modern culture. And of course there’s the little fact that President Obama’s actual policies and his administration are the most supportive of women in history.
But I’m told that we women voters don’t care about stuff like that. We wanted a fight last time and since Obama wasn’t a bully, we didn’t like him anymore and this time we thought their fight was too petty. Our silly little brains just can’t see through the Big Show that the boys love so much – with all male candidates and mostly male pundits discussing what we think and what we want, and few actually listening to us. Shhh, girls, you’re just here to cheer. (Kudos to Candy for not playing that game.)
Only someone who didn’t have to worry about a Romney administration telling them that they are not entitled to fight back for equal pay and may be told to carry a child to term that could kill them would be able to skip over these rather pertinent matters in order to focus on style, yet again.
Politics, like Hollywood (the media), is a man’s game, mostly filled with men or women who go along with the men in order to gain respect and be seen as focused on the “right” things. It’s never cool to write about how women are being treated like dolls or to point out what the beltway doesn’t want to hear about how utterly clueless they can be about the reality of women’s lives. Even on the left, we are often told what’s really important and it’s not women’s issues. A young woman expressed this perfectly in a focus group last night after being asked about Romney’s position on equal pay, “Well, I guess we’ll just focus on that after we get jobs.” I’d laugh if it weren’t so surreal. Jobs for women then are unrelated to what they actually pay.
Will someone please wake me up from this nightmare and tell me that it was all a very bad joke.
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Reynardine
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Alas, it isn’t. Meanwhile, if we had someplace we could send our support to Candy Crowley for standing up to this penis stampede…
GoGirl
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 5:32 pm
@crowleyCNN
Mary
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 4:48 pm
If Romney has his way we as women will be living in a world 50 years ago. I myself do not want to go backwards. I feel we as women have been discriminated against for way to long as it is. I am saddened when I read that women do not see this as a problem. I am an older woman and believe me it is a problem and once we allow this backwards spiral to happen it will be to late to say we do not like it. Please Ladies think about your children and grandchildren if not for yourselves.
Conservative Heart
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Libtards at it again…
Mitt RMoney was on the money last night…
“Women need flexible schedules so they can make dinner.”
And do laundry. And wash dishes. And make male babies. And fight for the privilege of being put in a binder.
See that? He understands women. Men like him totally get women.
Janice I Falk
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 5:03 pm
great article-all discussion is of style (Obama won) not substance (Obama really won)
BeeEss
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Iv’e noticed the meme on the right is that women shouldn’t be so selfish as to care about birth control and abortion. They are supposed to care more about the economy which affects everyone. President Obama did a good job explaining how women being able to control their reproduction is at the heart of their ability to make a living. This has always been so and it is the reason that women have been able to participate in the workforce. I think the righties are just mad that more and more women don’t need men to support them and therefore don’t have to put up with their bullsh!t!
Johnee
Oct. 18th, 2012 at 7:37 am
I agreed with you up until your absolutely broad brushing sexist comment at the end of your post.
Colleen
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 6:33 pm
You go Candy, you did a good job. Big rude bully Robme thinks women are nothing and he is in for a shock when we don’t vote for him.
majii
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 7:07 pm
The fact that these men attempt to speak on women’s issues they know little/nothing about is an excellent example of what PBO said in the first debate–it doesn’t make sense that male lawmakers would think they should be making women’s healthcare decisions for them. To expand on this, it doesn’t make sense to me that any man would be so full of himself that he’d think he understands how a woman feels about her body and her health. If women did this, men would be marching in the streets of cities all over the nation. IMO, that they do this repeatedly indicates to me that they don’t consider us intelligent enough to make decisions about our own bodies.
Johnee
Oct. 18th, 2012 at 8:24 am
Not to be the shit stirrer here, but what you said makes absolutely no sense. Why would you think that a man couldn’t be empathic regarding a woman’s health care needs? Most men support you making your own decisions about your reproductive health partly because we put ourselves in your shoes. Understanding is a huge part of this. We are all human beings here.
Sandra
Oct. 18th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Joe Scaribough being the first one out the door. Why do these men think they know what we want, how we think, how we discern and evaluate our surroundins. Most women think PO won the debate on substance, truthiness, and decency. Style is irrelevant. We think of style as fashion in most cases, we want to hear the truth, the teeth, the substance, the honesty and we got that from PO on Tuesday night. He outed the lies Romney has been spewing throughout his campaign and I for one appreciated it. Please men, don’t tell me how or what to think, you are simply not qualified to make that call.
Leah L Burton
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 7:14 pm
One of the best comments that I heard today was that Romney is so used to collecting…that a “binder full of women”…was appropriate in his world.
Women…yet another Romney collection…pathetic!
Heartless
Oct. 17th, 2012 at 8:15 pm
MR. Romney, nor any of the male talking heads in the media know ANYTHING about this woman! I will not kowtow to any male that thinks they know anything about me or my healthcare needs.
That any woman could even remotely “like” Romney is absolutely mind boggling to me.
Joe Biden, on the other hand, has earned my respect when he stated during the VP debates that even tho he personally does not believe in it, he does not believe in denying anyone else access to birth control or safe abortions, either. His personal religious beliefs should have no bearing on policies for the good of all. These are the comments of a real leader!
Anne
Oct. 18th, 2012 at 12:53 am
This putting alpha males on pedestals is utterly ridiculous, particularly when they are as clueless and out of touch as Willard Romney is. What he FAILED to say is even more significant than what he actually said, because he really does NOT believe in equal pay for women. Otherwise, he would have voiced unequivocal support for it. Instead, he gave us a bunch of empty platitudes in order to evade answering the question about equal pay for women. He was the same obnoxious, arrogant excuse for a man at the second debate that he was at the first one. The president was just as factual at the second one as the first. The difference is that he took the gloves off and boxed Willard into a corner. I also tend to agree with others that the president let him expose himself in the first debate, and that his “win” made him overconfident. Willard WAS disrespectful to both President Obama and Ms. Crowley, but she did manage to exert a degree of control that had to be frustrating to a man like Willard who is used to bullying others and getting his way. For that alone, she has my undying respect.
Marc
Oct. 18th, 2012 at 9:08 am
The polls appear to disagree with your assessment. If they are to be believed, women very much liked what they saw…and heard..in the first debate and did not like the President’s. Interesting to see how the polls will reflect this last encounter.
Sharon
Oct. 18th, 2012 at 12:06 pm
It isn’t the fighting that bothers me – that is part of political action that has gone on since the beginning of time. It is the lies Mr. Romney says with a straight face that bother me. In this day and age when you can fact check everything in a minute or two I find it degrading that Mr. Romney can say one thing and then another and thinks I am dumb enough or senile enough to forget what was said before or believe him and will fall for what he says this time — or is it he who forgets what he said before? I am a VERY senior citizen who has the ability to think for herself and I do believe a good majority of the citizens have that ability also. I turn off many political ads not for the back and forth but because of the lies that can be checked and the same for debates.
maranon
Oct. 19th, 2012 at 2:46 pm
62% of the child bearing age females (15-44yo) use birth control, (reports Web MD 10/19 Rubin) That leaves 38% of those females who belong to some religious camp that keeps them from even thinking on protecting themselves. Even when the pastors, priests are having sex, they mandate their members to to remain virgins, even if the males are not.
In the LDS church ALL the males are priests or bishops ( Mitt too) or something in their hierarchy, and the spread of their pecking order will spread even further. The church ladies are telling me “we must stop Obama, before he makes mandatory abortions for all”. The ignorance and naivety of women is worrisome for me. The gains for women could disappear, the discrimination and dismissal of pregnant women could return in a hurry. Many people do not realize the struggle of the 70′s and 80′s that has brought Tittle 9, for equal treatment of girls in schools. Women have too much to lose, besides Wade Vs Rose.
Do not believe the male dominated church leaders,they do not want to lose their positions of power and control. God gave women a brain to use it.
CirceB2
Oct. 20th, 2012 at 1:33 am
Great post about a continuing problem. On “Morning Joe” both Mark Halphern and (of course) Joe Scarborough literally laughed and dismissed Mika’s (only women at the table)noting of Obama’s addressing women’s issues versus Romney’s indictment of single women with the comments that “women don’t like arguments and confrontations!” I almost threw up. I think all discussions of women’s “issues” (or “family” issues)should be barred unless a woman is on the panel, table or Legislative Board to at least note ONE woman’s point of view. Obviously, the GOP is completely out of touch with the 21st Century woman, but I would hope the pundits were more informed. Sorry, my mistake. It’s tragic.