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Romney’s Binders Full Of Women
By: Hrafnkell HaraldssonOct. 18th, 2012more from Hrafnkell Haraldsson
The moment Mitt Romney opened his mouth about binders full of women, he put himself in a bind. From Romney’s perspective, it was just another lie; he probably doesn’t keep track anymore. He opens his mouth and lies come tumbling out.
But America has taken notice, and binders full of women has spawned a new meme. First, on Twitter and Tumblr, #BindersFullOfWomen became a trending phrase. But the meme rapidly spread to Amazon.com, where actual binders are sold. The hilarious response will likely leave Romney wishing this was the type of bind Maalox could get him out of.
But it can’t. Because Romney has done this again:
Take the ubiquitous Avery Durable View Binder with 2 Inch EZ-Turn Ring, White, 1 Binder (17032):
People love this binder. And not just rich white Mormon outsourcers like Mitt Romney. I mean, they love it. Look at some of the rave reviews:
But there are more:
uebergeek, from San Diego, CA, writes,
As a woman who doesn’t leave work early to cook dinner, I struggled to prove to my employer that I’m worth the full 72% of a man’s pay. How could I, working 16-hour shifts, ever be seen as pulling my weight, when other women were heading home to do their domestic duty?
Thank goodness for this binder. Now, each day when dinner time rolls around, I’m able to select a stereotype-friendly woman from the binder to go home and cook. This leaves me free to fritter away the entire evening at work, while still collecting the full 72% paycheck. And my boss is none the wiser! Thanks to this binder, I’m on Easy Street!
Another California native, Tristan S, gives the product five stars:
As a red-blooded American male who runs a service-oriented business, I am extremely concerned about the face that people see when they walk through the door to get familiar-quality buffalo wings and crab’s legs along with a pitcher of trusted beer and an artful, skillful dance performance. It is imperative that, between making calls to vendors to make sure that they have flour in stock and checking to make sure that the silkscreeners have corrected the color alignment for the words on our latest shipment of booty shorts, that I am supplied in a prudent and expedient fashion with full-color photos of the women who hope to obtain gainful employment at my non-union, family owned establishment. What with all the depositiooounh, uh, faxes I receive on an hourly basis, it’s unrealistic to assume that I’d be able to keep track of these poor girls who come in droves begging, pleading for a patronly and towering bastion of free enterprise to open the gateway to properity for them.
I have been using Avery binders since I was a teenager with a dream – a dream that one day, I would have a successful business keeping my fellow red-blooded American males happy. I knew that the first step to assembling the right crew was to use proper organizational tools that allowed me to keep incoming potential and current valued talent organized according to various metrics. I stayed up countless hours throughout my teens, sometimes far past midnight, selflessly sacrificing my sleep-hours to realize my dream. Avery Binders have been with me every step of the way – from a teenaged lad full of pep and vinegar, to a stand-up beacon of bootstrap-pulling American entepeneurship. I am proud to say that not only men of similar stature from all over the world who happen to be stopping over in the fair city of Los Angeles but also hard-working, dedicated local men of meager means and big dreams frequent my establishment on a regular basis and shower talent that I sorted and organized via Avery binders with their hard-earned and gracious dollars.
Ask any man who spends hours and hours every day going through binders and binders of women: Avery binders stand the vigorous test of time with the stamina of an olympian. I laud the convenient choice of convenient, pre-determined organizational format (A-Z, 1-31), and also the facilitation of creativity and indiidual need that only free enterprise can provide using blank tabs. Say, for instance, I needed to organize women via a range of pounds/kilograms, or inches/centimeters. Or, of ancestral extraction. These binders were obviously made with the discerning champion of free market enterprise or transient politician in mind, and their two-inch width is adequte for approximately three-hundred precious women, enshrined in Avery Quick-Load(tm) Sheet Protectors. Why, I’m looking through one of my favorite binders right now! You should see “J.”
To summarize: I trust Avery for all of my Woman-Sorting needs, and so should you.
This meme is so popular already that other memes have joined this meme.
Ariana, posting from Germany, thinks Mitten’s binders full of women are the cat’s pajamas:
What a neat little binder! To think that Sultans used to keep their women in lavish harems or other men kept them all together in a house with them running amuck…Thank you, Governor Mittens for this neat little solution. Now we can all be organized based on various criteria such as cup size, hair color, smart-ass level etc. Way to make the lives of chauvinistic men much easier. You have my vote, Sir! NOT!
Millions of Americans have become aware of binders like never before, from Hilary Clinton to the average Joe or Jill on the street. If these folks have their say, the Binder Phenomenon of 2012 will go down in history as Binders Full of Women Day, and people will quickly forget about that icky substance known as Santorum.
Hilary may be amused,
But her husband, Bill, is enthused:
I bet this young woman is in it:
I bet this one is not:
No matter how you parse this, no matter what pundits may say, binders full of women have revolutionized politics of binders in 2012.
But it’s not just the rich and famous. Why, look what this happy customer has to say!
This binder is decent, but I would prefer it to include the black plastic thing on the inside so that I can flip the women back to the front when they get out of line. That said, it adequately holds all of the women and they don’t usually get stuck on the rings inside. Although, when I pile my binders full of women on top of each other, the weight causes the rings to buckle a little bit and misalign and then sometimes my women do get caught on the rings. But we all know how women are, right? Typically heavy and hung up on rings! So as much as you may be tempted to pile and lay your binders of women on their sides, women end up being much more useful when upright.
And this woman was overwhelmed, bless her heart:
As a woman, I’m not adept at making decisions that concern me. So when I need the right choice, I turn to the presidential candidate that KNOWS. One with prideful experience in this department. I don’t want to be filed away in inferior storage mechanisms. I want a top of the line, 1980s prime, sturdy, Avery Durable binder. It’s the choice women can trust. My education, my talents, my opinions, my choices, please PLEASE keep them safely stored away here and away from the men that might fear them. (I am a woman, and I approve of this message.)
But we must remember that while we find Romney hilarious, the truth is not so funny, as this image reminds us:
I suspect, come election day, that Romney will feel this reviewer the most:
Don’t get me wrong, when I was given this binder, it was chock full of women. I mean, I went out of my way to get people to bring this binder to me. However, after I was given this one binder, suddenly a second binder plopped on top of it. Now I had binders full of women. And with an EZ-Turn Ring, I could take women in and out of these binders. The color of this binder, white, is perfect, by the by. Gosh, I can’t imagine any other color my binders full of women might come in.
Trust me, Mitt, those binders are chock full of women – a lot of women – women who are not going to vote for you.