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The Faux Hotties of FOX News
By: Hrafnkell HaraldssonAug. 21st, 2010more from Hrafnkell Haraldsson
You can’t turn on FOX News without being turned on. Or at least that seems to be the intention; perhaps when the content is so minimal you need to distract viewers from the lack of any real news.
After all, it is faux news – propaganda – and the real heart and power of propaganda is in the packaging, in appearances. And FOX News knows all about packaging.
It’s like a KFC buffet – all breasts and thighs.
But where’s the beef?
There isn’t much, unfortunately. It’s all smoke and mirrors over there at FOX, a glitzy bait and switch disguised as a show and tell.
Allure Magazine has put up an online slideshow with the proclamation that “With its bevy of babes, the network should be called the Foxy News Channel.”
I don’t know about that. Everyone knows that sex is more in the brain than in appearances (or maybe that’s just liberals…). What are otherwise attractive people can become quite unattractive when they open their mouths. Let’s face it: ignorance is not an appealing characteristic.
But there is no doubt that FNC is playing to the lowest common denominator, if not the lowest necklines – and highest hems.
As conservative website IHateTheMedia! reported in 2009, “Fox News ratings are rising, so are its anchors’ skirts.” Their accompanying photo exposé confirmed their claim quite convincingly.
I like a beautiful woman as much as the next guy but I turn on the news to actually watch news, not a fashion show. I want my intellect, not my libido, to be stimulated.
I’ve been in cardio-rehab for three months now, subjected to an endless parade of bouncy faux babes strutting their stuff one one of the three monitors overhead, while ESPN and ABC go about the mundane business of actually reporting the news – and wearing clothes.
Put it all down to old-fashioned bourgeois prejudices if you must, but I have a problem with this.
Let’s look beyond the gams…I mean the glam, for a moment and at what comes out of their mouths, It’s neither promising nor enlightening.
Gretchen Carlson, former Miss America, on March 10 of this year actually claimed – apropos of the Texas Schoolbook Massacre – that the forces of darkness planned to “eliminate references to certain holidays, Founding Fathers, the Constitution! I mean, no surprise that Christmas, they want to get rid of that because they’ve been doing that for the last couple of years, but c’mon, the Constitution?”
I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.
As Politifact reported, “The Texas Education Agency, which oversees primary and secondary education, blasted Fox News for distorting the facts:
“The Fox Network in recent days has repeatedly broadcast highly inaccurate information about the State Board of Education’s efforts to adopt the new social studies curriculum standards,” the agency said in a press release.”
But hey, she looks good, right? FOX knows how to package the propaganda.
Of course, nothing Gretchen said was true. Politifact gave her a well-deserved “Pants on Fire” rating for the gaffe.
It’s not Gretchen’s first hoof and mouth experience. Back during the Bush maladministration she accused Ted Kennedy of being an enemy of the United, a “hostile enemy…right here on the home front.”
Yes, Ted Kennedy, while the president was calling the Constitution “just a goddamned piece of paper”.
You have to wonder if there is anything going on behind those pretty eyes.
But let’s cut her some slack; we know that actually reporting the news is very low on FNC’s list of priorities. Titillating the audience apparently is where it’s at. Show ‘em beautiful women in slinky outfits and make ‘em mad with lies and lust. It’s a magical combination and it seems to be working. They’re clearly a better vehicle than a certain bloated Oxycontin-addicted host we’re all familiar with.
Let’s take a look at Exhibit Number Two:
Gretchen doesn’t operate in a vacuum at FOX. Ainsley Earhardt brought out the anti-atheist idiocy as vividly as she brings out her breasts:
It’s almost breathtaking. I mean, you want to be turned on and turned off at the same time. It’s such a strange and irreconcilable combination of emotions, all these lovely scantily clad women uttering such stupidity. It’s worse than a beauty pageant.
But it explains why they’re so in love with a woman who thinks having Putin fly over Alaska makes her a foreign policy expert, doesn’t it?
But Ainsley really wants us to get a good look at her assets, and she’s not shy about showing them. She even posed for an up-the-skirt shot that became the rage on YouTube (you can Google it) and which must have left dirty old men drooling all over “Conservia.”
Then there is Exhibit Number Three: Lis Wiehl, the FOX legal analyst. Notice where this man’s eyes are:
You can bet his brains are not on what she is saying, and yours are not meant to be either.
And Exhibit Number Four: Fox’s Supreme Court reporter, Shannon Bream:
The Anchorbabes blog complained in March, “It’s kind of a shame that FOX has so many hot news babes, because a hottie like Shannon can get lost in the shuffle.”
Can you imagine this coming out of Katie Couric’s mouth? It came out of the mouth of FOX correspondent Courtney Friel (she of swimsuit-layout fame):
I have a problem with horse male genitalia. They need to wear diapers, because I feel violated… They are setting young girls up for high expectations, because none of their men are going to be like that. I was in Hawaii and I was going to go horseback riding and that was really big, and you would have thought I wanted to ride it, but no.
Back in 2007 a Christian watchdog group complained about this FOX cesspit of iniquity. Mark Dice, leader of the “Resistance” moaned, “I see shorter skirts on the women of Fox News than I do on the prostitutes being arrested on cop shows.”
Mark was destined for disappointment. The short skirts and low-cut tops are still there in abundance, along with thighs and breasts. The “Family Values” network? No, more of a political fund-raising network now – and sex sells.
Of course, these folks are more worried about what pops out of their clothes than what comes out of their mouths. Now to be fair, no news channel is perfect, and other women on other networks sometimes wear what might be considered inappropriate garb on air. But there is simply no comparison.
In the end, it is difficult to find fault with the analysis of Videogum back in 2009 with regards to Megyn Kelly (and applying it to all of those faux babes), “Megyn Kelly, the Fox News anchor whose face and demeanor are as irritating on a visceral level as the thought of licking a dry Popsicle stick.”
Yeah, that says it all, I think.