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Just in time for Black Friday conservatives revive the War on Christmas
more from Hrafnkell Haraldsson
It is that season again – and no, I am not talking about Christmas. I am talking about the War on Christmas, which is a far more important season. According to religious conservatives, it is open-season, both on them and on their religion.
For my part, I don’t like to let this season pass without saying a few words about this phony war, for it is a phony war. Nobody is, or has been, making war on Christmas. Non-Christians, secularists, atheists and others declining to participate in Christianity is hardly a war. I mean, I went grocery shopping the other day and listened to Christmas carols the whole time. I later sat at Denny’s and got to be regaled in song after song about Jesus’ miraculous birth.
I was not conscious of any war on Christmas, though the war on my own religious beliefs was quite evident.
The problem is that conservative Christians expect us all to participate in their religion. It’s apparently some unwritten rule; though they insist it is to be found somewhere in the U.S. Constitution, they never quite manage to point it out to the rest of us.
The thing is, this season is plenty holy, to plenty of different people and religions, and has been throughout history. It is the time of the Winter Solstice, after all, marking the shortest day of the year. In pre-scientific societies, this was something pretty special, as was the Summer Solstice, which marks the longest day of the year.
It is impossible for any single ethnicity or religion to lay claim to such a solar event. And long before Christianity did try to lay claim to it, this was already a holy season.
It is theft, cry conservative Christians. “Miserable atheists” are trying to steal Christmas!” cries Pat Robertson. Atheists are like Grinches, apparently, miserable and wanting to share their misery.
If it is theft, as I have pointed out before, you can hardly steal something and then cry foul when somebody else steals what you stole.
But explaining such things to conservative Christians is like explaining to Bryan Fischer that the creation story in Genesis is not an eyewitness account by God, or to Pope Benedict that the Bible does not offer incontrovertible proof of the immaculate conception.
The problem is always one of special rights. Christianity, we are told, has special rights. In other words, we should all have to not only endure but participate in Christian Christmas traditions. It is bad enough that we all have to share in the music from October on, but they expect us to wish each other all a merry Christmas at every opportunity, whether we believe in their Christ or not.
If we don’t, if we decline to participate, we are waging war. By exercising our own right to freedom of belief.
A right, apparently, they don’t believe we actually possess.
So Fox News has already gotten into the act, attacking the city of Santa Monica, California, for deciding to forego a nativity scene this year.
Said Fox legal analyst Peter Johnson, “The first salvo in the war on Christmas this year has been shot.”
Oh dear. The recognition that not everybody in America is a Christian is a war on Christmas. No, a war on Christmas is telling Christians none of them can have nativity scenes this year, or telling Christians that none of them can say Merry Christmas.
But nobody is doing that. America is just recognizing that we are a diverse nation religiously.
Bill O’Reilly asks, “Are these atheists ruining Christmas for the kids?”
Bill-O, not all the kids are Christians either. What about the Jewish kids and the Muslim kids and Hindu kids, and the atheist kids and the little Heathen kids like my own?
Oh wait, they’re supposed to praise Jesus’ birth too, aren’t they?
The folks at Liberty Counsel, when they are not hiring attorneys who like ecstasy, marijuana and cocaine and forcing young girls into sexual relationships, are pushing their “Friend or Foe Christmas Campaign“:
Renaming a Christmas tree to a holiday tree, stopping students from wearing red and green, and censoring religious Christmas carols are absurd, but true, examples of the war against Christmas. Over the past few years, the ‘Friend or Foe Christmas Campaign’ has successfully put the ‘grinches’ on the run. This year millions of Americans will join us to help save Christmas. If a government entity censors Christmas in violation of the Constitution, then we will first seek to educate but, if necessary, we will litigate. If retailers choose to profit from Christmas while pretending it does not exist, then we will patronize their competitors.
Renaming a Christmas tree to a holiday tree. Note to Liberty Counsel: The whole tree thing is entirely Pagan in origin. The Puritans whose world you guys claim you want to return to, recognized that decorating a tree for Christmas was Pagan. Why can’t you?
The ancient Heathens used to “worship” trees not because they symbolized a particular god (though trees, like rainbows, could connect this world to the “upper” world) but because they were symbolic of growth and life, and evergreen trees, which did not wilt and die in the winter, seemed to continue to live miraculously. The Heathens brought offering to the trees – fruit and candles, “dressing” the tree in a manner similar to how classical Pagans decorated the statues of their gods. But this Heathen practice was done in honor of Odin, whose time this was with his Wild Hunt through the skies.
In my home, we celebrate the pre-Christian holiday tradition called Jöl – you know, Bill – the original holiday in which trees were decorated and Yule logs burned (not to mention Yule-singing, holly, mistletoe, wassailing, the ancient drink-sacrifice). You know, the one the word “Yule” derives from. The one my ancestors were celebrating long before the first missionary for the White Christ appeared in Northern Europe.
Is the formula Pagan Ritual + Pagan Ritual = Christian Ritual?
We can even add a Pagan god, Odin, and his eight-legged horse Sleipnir (eight reindeer anyone?), and presto! We have Santa, and a holy smoke, a Pagan god becomes a Saint! (Like that’s never happened before…).
In that case, the formula becomes Pagan Ritual + Pagan Ritual, etc + Pagan God = Christmas.
Doctrinally, you hate trees and people getting too close; your religion says trees are bad. But you stick a cross in it or on it and it’s okay?
Yeah, that’s some Christian holiday you got there.
For Heathen folk, and for other Pagan folk, trees were good, not gateways to hell. For Heathens, these trees marked sacred places, just as entire groves could be sacred to Thor and named for him[1] By this reckoning, and the association with Odin, we should be spending our Yules gathered around the sacred tree singing or chanting to Odin, not complaining that somebody has turned the Christmas Tree into a “Holiday” Tree. That crime has already been committed, back when the first Christian co-opted the first tree for the co-opted celebration of Yule.
I don’t need anyone to wish me a Merry Christmas. There is no Christ in my holiday, after all. I don’t even need anybody to wish me a more Heathen-centric “Happy Yule.” A “Happy Holidays” is much more sensible, recognizing, as it does, that this is the holiday season and that it is not an exclusive Christian holiday.
In the end, it isn’t atheists and secularists and others waging war on Christmas, it’s conservative Christians waging war on religious pluralism, a central component of our modern liberal democracy and of the United States Constitution itself.
I’m sorry to all you conservative Christians, but I’ve got news for you: tossing a Bible down on top of the Constitution doesn’t change what the Constitution says. And what it says is that in America, all religions are equal (as is no religion), and we all have a right to choose our beliefs. Nowhere in there does it say we have to privilege yours.
Happy Holidays.
Image © 2012 by Hrafnkell Haraldsson
[1] H.R. Ellis-Davidson, Gods and Myths of Northern Europe (Penguin, 1973), 86-8.
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23 Responses to Just in time for Black Friday conservatives revive the War on Christmas
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Christopher
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 9:03 am
The Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays issue is just about the biggest non-issue out there. It’s the thought that counts. I urge believers and non-believers alike to when greeted in either manner to smile and reply, “the same to you!”
Reynardine
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 9:54 am
Stopping students from wearing red and green? Those aren’t Christian symbols either! And who is saying trees are gateways to Hell?
The forbidden Paradise tree wasn’t any apple tree, either. It was the varnish nut, Aileurites indica, which has a flower like a peach and a fruit like a pomegranate, and the fruit is stuffed with enticing nuts, in appearance and taste like fine cashews. But it’s none of these things. It’s in the castor bean family. And when a couple of stark-naked wanderers asked the old orchardist if they could hang out, he said, “Sure. Pick all you want, but not that tree. The day you eat thereof, you’ll wish you died.”
“What is it, Sir?” they asked.
“Now, you want to know too much,” the orchardist said.
They ate the apples and the pears and the figs and the plums, but one day, they just had to try something else, and they ate the beautiful cashews. The orchardist strolled out and heard puking and ruder sounds coming from the bushes. “Told you about that one,” he said.
“Why do you have such a terrible tree?” they asked.
“Every tree is good,” he told them, “but not every tree is good for everything. That one isn’t good for food, it’s for furniture polish.”
“What’s furniture?” they asked.
“Something you, Adam, will now have to learn to make, so that you, Eve, can use these oily nuts for their intended purpose. And since you can’t leave it out in the rain, you’re going to have to learn to build and paint and furnish houses. To do that, you have to cut down trees- but not mine, thank you. So run along and find your own place and figure stuff out without running down my neighborhood. Now, good day.” And they did. But the story grew in the telling and the nonsensicality, until we now have the War on Christmas. (And yes, I have sampled varnish nut)
Eykis
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 10:03 am
But, but, but, what would BillO the clown and his “culture warriors” have to lie about for a couple of months. BillO started his annual War on Christmas the DAY AFTER THE ELECTION~I clicked over and heard him – about two weeks earlier than usual.
John
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 10:08 am
I don’t see the problem with NOT FUNDING A NATIVITY SCENE WITH TAXPAYER DOLLARS. Doesn’t FOX want less government spending? The cognitive dissonance is rhetorically humorous. If righties ignore such social issues, they won’t piss off 94% of the population that doesn’t believe in a god.
Elizabeth
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 11:54 am
I am a Christian. That being said, I am sooooo tired of the “war on Christmas” I could scream! I can do without “christmas carols” blaring from mid-October on. I can do without Nativity scenes etc. everywhere. I can very much do without merchants turning my religious holiday into an excuse to push ridiculous excess. My preference would be a quiet, reflective observance in my church and home without all the rest. (I always amazes me that those who scream the loudest belong to churches who do not have services on Christmas). As for Solstice, I celebrate that too. The light is coming back. So to all of you: Happy Holidays!
Sandra
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Considering how comercialized Christmas has become, I would think everyone would he happy to see it abolished. I’m a Catholic and I simply do not like hearing Christmas Carols playing in malls so early, by the time Christmas comes around, I’m tired of the whole thing, meanwhile business’ make huge profits because we’ve all been brainwashed into thinking that we must have the latest and best of everything for ourselves and our families, meanwhile people are going hungry in our rich countries while others starve in poor countries. There’s nothing Christian or spiritual about Christmas anymore.
A Walkaway
Nov. 24th, 2012 at 10:53 am
I’d like to keep that “Christian” and “Spiritual” out. It’s a beautiful season and a good thing, in spite of all of the greed of the rich. The decorations, the music (I don’t care for the “modernized” versions that are gross), the lights, and the decent weather (cool and dry)… all add up to my favorite season. I might add that most of the Christmas music – the more religious – focuses on the Jesus I would believe in – the person who cares, rather than the demanding perfectionist monster who comforts the rich and punishes the poor – the one preached and pushed by “Good Christians”.
I’ve been hearing calls (from “Good Christians”) for “more Christ” and “More Spiritual” since I moved to this goddamned state, and I’m sick of them. While they protest the “War on Christmas”, at the same time they demand that everyone be miserable in church, and their idea of “Christmas” is bleak as hell (except the preachers who have big “Traditional Christmases” while preaching “GIVE GIFTS TO JESUS UNTIL IT HURTS!” and rant at the people in the pews for being so worldly and “secular”.
Well, those days have ended for me… they can go f*(# themselves for all I care. They can just stop trying to ruin one of the few happier seasons left to us.
Maranon
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 12:29 pm
The churches have already tax free properties, they can decorate any way they want to, any time they choose to.
The people who are ruining all the holidays are the corporation who are trying to get every cent you have in your pocket. The life yearly cycle, that used to be run by the seasons is now run by the continued adds attacking your senses from all directions, to create a “have to have the latest gadget” reality.
Then there is the issue of churchmongering and religiosity as being equal to spirituality. They are not at all.
If the pseudo-religious people were to embrace the basic tenets of their faiths, we could have more people working for social issues and to improve the human condition. The christmas would not be the shopping marathon it has become.
Walter
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 12:35 pm
If Christians wanted to celebrate their holiday, they need to scrub it for themselves.
But, I will offer a few suggestions. One, they might want to toss out the tree-they need to abstain from this pagan tradition. Plus there is a verse in the bible not to cut a tree and adorn it in silver or gold. If they want to put something in their homes, a good recommendation would be a manger.
Two, they need to get back to simpler things. I thought Christians were supposed to focus on the other world(heaven) and not this world. So they might want to pull back on the gifts to just a few and just share the “love of Jesus”. I know I’m probably being anti-capitalistic here but isn’t this just covetousness which I thought was said to be bad in the bible.
Next, they should spend more time in church. Let’s say start with Advent(beginning early December) and continue right on through to the Epiphany(twelve days after Christmas). This would keep them off the streets so they won’t be offended by how other people and religions celebrate this time. At least they can commiserate with like minded people.
Fourth, they might want to break from the idolatry of the Roman Catholic Church and drop all statues of saints and Santa, which is an embodiment of the greed, materialism and debauchery of today’s Christmas. Children write Santa letters with pages of all the things they desire and lust after. Maybe they should rather include a paragraph of all the good things they did in the last year to make the world a better place and what good they are going to do in the new year, like not lie to others or themselves. Besides if their God already gives all the good things in life, then why do they need an intermediary like Santa Claus? There you go, write Jesus letters instead.
These are just a few suggestions. I ask others to offer their ideas as well.
Have a Happy Holidays however you celebrate it and a Glorious Saturnalia.
Amy Simeister
Nov. 24th, 2012 at 5:11 am
Good on you Walter!!! Good on you!!
Linda1961
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I’m a Christian, but I absolutely hate it when someone wishes me “Merry Christmas” between clinched teeth. If they were doing it because they are not Christians, but are forced to say it, it wouldn’t bother me, but it’s conservative Christians doing so. Why the clinched teeth? They don’t like the politically correct “Happy Holidays” greeting. When I point out that they gave the greeting they wanted, why worry if someone else uses another greeting if that was their preference. the answer is something along the lines of “but the War on Christmas!” When I point out there are many holidays this time of year, and the “Happy Holidays” greeting has been around a long time, for that very reason. When I was child, no one cared if it was “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays,” as long as it was said pleasantly and sincerely.
As for Christmas music – I don’t like it blaring away before Thanksgiving, and even then, it should be sparing. But stores and some radio stations start playing Christmas music in mid-October; now that Thanksgiving is over, it will be 24/7. Sigh.
A Walkaway
Nov. 24th, 2012 at 11:05 am
It does irritate me that they start in November now (before Thanksgiving), and once Christmas day has arrived, they end. For a lot of Christians, Christmas STARTS on December 25 and runs into January. It’s ADVENT that starts around Thanksgiving. The greedy rich (corporations) are largely to blame for getting things screwed up.
Some people dump everything in the trash on Christmas day… getting everything bass ackwards IMO. Some don’t know better, and I’ve heard this stupid “It’s unlucky to have your Christmas decorations up after Christmas day”. What utter bull####.
I like a lot of the music. It’s (for me) the most uplifting religious music – with some exceptions.
Rho
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 2:35 pm
I do like the fact that my preferred station, beach951.com, just plays pop yule stuff occasionally, so I’m good there. It reminds me that I do live in the South, and hey, there are warm sandy beaches close by. I don’t like Yule invading my Samhain, however.
Pick a holiday and get over it. That’s the problem with fall, way too many gammy things to spend money on, and they are still gammy.
I used to have a Yuletide spirit, but I think it was left back in the 80s, about the time Faux News debuted, go figure.
mjh
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 2:51 pm
I’ve always found it strange how righwtingnut neoKKKons can use the annual recurrence of the Christmas Holiday to justify their claims of a “war on Christmas” — but can’t use the annual recurrence of hot weather to justify global warming . . .
.
wiley
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Christian chicken-hawks call refer to their kvetching about people and businesses not kissing their butts as “war”. What brave souls. Not everyone can bitch about everything.
usingmyvoice
Nov. 23rd, 2012 at 7:36 pm
Blame commercialism and the conservative bigots, please. There are some of us “Christians” (well, I don’t even call myself a Christian anymore; I don’t like what it has come to mean) who AGREE w/you! In fact, I don’t remember reading anywhere that Christ said we should worship HIM. He just wanted to show others the way to peace. A number of Christian theologians believe he studied Buddhism before he began teaching in the synagogues.
But most Christian churches and so-called believers have bastardized Jesus of Nazareth’s original intent. Completely run over and obliterated what it was meant to be. It’s really quite precious if you understand what he was teaching. I’m not saying everybody *should* do it, but it’s a good way to go, if you understand how. And very very very few do. It’s sad, really.
I was thinking today how ridiculous it is that we Americans associate Christmas with GIFTS and STORES and SALES and BARGAINS and BUYING and SELLING … as if we don’t do enough of that in the 364 days preceding. That’s not Christmas either. To me (and this is jmho, in my own tradition), Christmas is beautiful music, bells ringing, the joy of hope for peace on earth, snow falling somewhere, maybe hot chocolate w/marshmallows, contemplating miracles, and sharing love and meals and quality time with some of the people in my life.
If you’re still reading, I wish you and yours some very Happy Holidays.
Amy Simeister
Nov. 24th, 2012 at 5:06 am
Keep Nativities in front of Churches. Let me keep a Pentacle with all the Solstice offerings in front of my home. And let the police keep Both displays safe from vandalism. If I city or town square needs a public holiday display Keep it generic that way EVRERY heart can be brightened by it.
I love looking at well made Nativities when walking by a church. I Thrill to see the Menorah In front of a Synagogue. A well lit Tree loaded with fruit, breads, & nuts that the animals will enjoy delights my soul.
Being not so subtly told be every so called Christian that they have The Only Valid Religion as they insistently shout “Merry Christmas” Pisses me off no end.
Do not even get me started on the fact that as early as October first I was being bombarded with Christmas Carols in stores… I love singing, I love Carolling, I loathe being force fed the damned things for months on end.
Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!
Reynardine
Nov. 24th, 2012 at 9:35 am
Aaaah-menn! And aaah-womenn!
A Walkaway
Nov. 24th, 2012 at 11:12 am
EXACTLY!!!!!!!
Richard Thomas
Nov. 24th, 2012 at 5:15 am
Has Fox news seen the latest sensation in the UK Daily Mail in which Pope Benedict has wrtten that all the trappings (except the virgin birth) with which Christmas is surrounded are myths and have no basis. He also notes that the date is unlikely to be true.
SinghX
Nov. 24th, 2012 at 9:10 am
All I have to say is 3 words.
Reverend Billy Talon.
Just Goog, the Rev at “revbilly.com” so you can join in his “Church of Stop Shopping Now”. Imbue yourself in his message of the Shop’ocalypses. Perhaps Fox will have him on one day, as a “joke”. Hopefully, he’d slap the Christmas lights right off Mr Bill’s face.
edna
Nov. 25th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
jesus has nothing to do with chrismas.for jesus said. celabrate my death not my birth.but its all about giving. which is a good thing. I DONT THINK JESUS IS AGAINST A GOOD THING.
ktrav
Dec. 1st, 2012 at 11:09 am
You wouldn’t know there’s a war on Christmas in Denver. This place is awash in all things Christmas. I imagine it’s good for business.
The biggest thing that sticks out about the Christmas season to me is how TACKY it is. I think the cranks who are up in arms about this phony war somehow don’t see how kitch-y their holiday really is. Which says something about their fashion tastes.
As for me, I’m off to the Denver Santa Pub Crawl. Lots of laughs, lots of fun, and over $20,000 of donated Christmas gifts for poor kids. Now THAT’S the Christmas spirit.