Sarah Palin’s Tweets 2 Santa

Last updated on April 2nd, 2010 at 11:37 am

R U there, Santa? It’s me, Sarah. We’ve been VERY good all yr. We even quit our job 4good of Alaska!

Progressin’ Merica like God said in His grt constitution. Patriots everywhere, also, lovin’ this country like we do.

Built Northern “White House” in Wasilla w/$$$ from patriots 4god. Our WH w/ super big turret! Bigger than Obama’s 4sure! Obama awed by Our greatness.

To get more stories like this, subscribe to our newsletter The Daily.

Our book was #1 for 2wks (be4 returns) + we toured in God-given jet 2 see Real Merica. No global warmin’ seen there! Cold in TX!

Pointy-headed elites worry 2much. If God cared about planet, he wouldn’t be ending it in 2012. Duh.

#Earth saw clmate chnge4 ions;will cont 2 c chnges.R duty2responsbly devlop resorces4humankind/not pollute&destroy;but cant alter naturl chng.

Obama stole our book 4 Nobel Peace Prize speech. Tried 2 get away w/ it but we recognized stuff after opening our book. He talked about man! We talked about man. He talked about peace! We talked about peace.

As Santa knows, We can’t trust minorities. They R not glamorous, also, too.

Plz don’t give any toys 2 minorities. They already took my crown twice.

From Facebook, We advised Obama how 2run #war, also, too, once we figured out where Iraq was. Like it matters.

There Democrats go again! Tryin’ to make stuff seem hard. This was so easy, Santa. Serisly. We deserve maybe another house.

We encourage Mericans to ask re: his past associations, there. Also, too his birth certificate. Is he Kenyan? Fair question.

We have done; we provided Trig’s Birth Certificate. Well, We would, but Santa needs 2 leave it in stocking!

How dare anyone ask us a question. Plz get on this, Santa. U know what to do if u + elves are men enuf 2take care of things.

Also, too found many there in Real Merica wantin’ 2work 4free 4us so didn’t bother paying the Joe Six Pack Holly Hairdressers workin’ stiffs. Thnk u #God 4 my greatness.

Brawled w/ many elites and beat them up good; Letterman, Arnold, Gore, all of ‘em and any of ‘em put in front of Us; We just knocked ‘em down w/sucker punch + losers fell to floor. Watch ME ME ME win!

Mess w/ the Cuda U will Lose. Also, ugly libs like 2 talk about facts but no one cares. Ppl like my smile better than tiny starlets who don’t eat meat. God loves a winner.

Selling minted gold w/ Our Sacred Image; > $$$ for us. Have Grifter Fund running even tho’ it “violates” elitist ethics laws; If #God wanted Us 2be poor like U, he wouldn’t have blessed us w/ ability 2grift.

If U tried harder, Santa, u could also be winner like me. The elves need to get off socialist North Pole welfare candy + get real jobs. Just sayin’. #Jesus doesn’t like losers.

Plz tell #God he picked WRONG in 2008. He needs to pick ME! ME! I’m a Joe Six Pack Hockey Mam! We kicked down the door! We didn’t blink!

Patriots prayed 4 us 2win b/c #God wanted us (as in ME) in WH 2progress Merica.

Santa, #God needs 2clean out His ears. Plz get behind this. Ppl R asking questions. Also, too.

Tell #God He needs 2get His act together or We’re siccing Dept of Law on him, also too! Tell God2 stop listening 2Obama’s opposition researchers. Listen to ME! ME! ME!

Katie Couric is still runnin’ around w/ her Gotcha journalism, Santa! She is Anti-Christ 4 my fans 2destory. That was fun. But plz punish Katie.

Also, why is she so cute? We R only 1 who is cute. Plz get on this.

Also, too, please send bigger crown than Obama’s ASAP.

Love, Sarah

Gifts and Donations Should Be Sent To:

Sarah Palin
c/o The One and Only Governor of the World
666 Rural Route Real Merica, Christian Nation of Secessionists
Any and all of ‘em zip codes

Note: Most of these tweets are based off things Palin has really said. One of the tweets is EXACT. Santa will anoint progressive reader Politiucusa Reader of the Year if they can guess which one is exactly from Palin’s twitter account.

Sarah Jones

Listen to Sarah on the PoliticusUSA Pod on The Daily newsletter podcast here.

Sarah has been credentialed to cover President Barack Obama, then VP Joe Biden, 2016 Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, and exclusively interviewed Speaker Nancy Pelosi multiple times and exclusively covered her first home appearance after the first impeachment of then President Donald Trump.

Sarah is two-time Telly award winning video producer and a member of the Society of Professional Journalists.

Connect with Sarah on Post,  Mastodon @PoliticusSarah@Journa.Host, & Twitter.