The Daily Show Satirizes Aryan Con Glenn Beck

Jon Stewart Satirizes Aryan Con Glenn Beck

Last night, Jon Stewart, that lone courageous patriot, explained to us how Conservative Libertarians are really Aryan Cons lying to us all and making us all slaves using nothing but a chalk board and some ovals! Yes, SLAVES! Jesus, theocracy, fire and brimstone!

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Jon strawmanned his way into explaining an utterly obvious relationship between the Conservative Libertarians and the Nazis. Jon explains that the “li”-ing “Arian” Cons left out the “y” in Aryan in order to fool us progressives as they lead us to slaughter.

Thank God Jon Stewart finally got a chalk board so he could expose these Aryan Cons from their desperate attempt to take over America via Fisher Price and Bert, because to be honest, I had never seen the Hilter mustache on Bert until Jon showed me the E. Yes, the Fisher Price Draconian Sharia law allows for no rubber duckies! But shhhhh……..

The proof is in the circle!

The Aryan Cons are ALSO implanting a chip in all of us that tells us when we can masturbate, according to Stewart. This is an outrage to the founding fathers! The founders would not want anyone being told when they can masturbate. This is a free country! Down with the Oval Aryan Cons!

As much as I wish this weren’t true, every day the evidence mounts up. When Glenn Beck talks, little ideas skip from pod to pod without ever connecting, and somehow whip him into a fury of fear, during which bodily fluid leaks out of the holes where his eyes would be were he human.

And with that, my heathen liberals, I rest Jon’s case.  Glenn Beck is an Oval Aryan Con of the most dangerous sort. Therefore, do not fill out the census!

Sarah Jones

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