Weekly Round Up of GOP Wing Nut Circus April 18, 2010

Weekly Round Up of Wing Nut Circus

GOP Circus
GOP Circus

A weekly round up of the Republican Wing Nut Circus; from Teabaggers protesting their tax cuts to Rush’s Pagan paranoia causing him to blame a volcano on the passage of healthcare reform, it’s been a wild ride.

It’s hard to keep up with the Republicans these days. They’re a regular three-ring circus being lead around by leaders like Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck — two of three of whom didn’t finish college for sure. Palin’s claim of graduation from her 6th college has yet to be verified.

Tax week commenced with Tea Baggers Protesting Obama Cutting Their Taxes

Teabaggers continue to amuse the informed. Dick Armey led the “Taxed Enough Already” “Patriots” — who love to don Vegas like costumes meant to evoke the founding fathers in yet another tiresome ode to the Right’s jingoistic ignorance – protesting having their taxes lowered by President Obama.

We’re still awaiting the Teabaggers thanking Obama for heeding their message, but since 45% of them don’t even pay taxes, they may never realize the utter fallacy of their ways. Sigh.

Rush Versus the Volcano

In a fit of Pagan superstition, Rush blamed the eruption of a volcano on the passage of healthcare, kind of like the Romans blamed the anger of the Gods whenever they didn’t understand a natural occurrence. Of course, this was before science had explained these natural disasters, so you can’t blame the Romans for believing in myths. Huh, perhaps we shouldn’t blame Rush, after all, he barely graduated from high school, so it’s entirely possible that he is unaware of the many scientific advances over the last couple of thousand years.

How archaic is Rush’s thinking? It behooves ya’ll to lock up your virgins. I’m just sayin’.

Country First:The Dow Surges, the Right Cringes

Republicans show great fortitude in clinging to their love for negativity and disaster, refusing to admit that Obama’s Stimulus plan is working. Not only did the Dow hit 11,000 this week, but new housing starts surged 1.6 percent for the first time in years – 20% over new housing starts last year. MarketWatch reports:

“This (new housing starts) was stronger than the 610,000 pace expected by economists surveyed by MarketWatch….

Even more surprising, February starts were revised higher to a 616,000 pace from the 570,000 previously reported. This was up 1.1% from the prior month. The initial estimate had been a 5.9% drop.”

Luckily for the Right, news of Goldman Sachs being charged with civil fraud brought the Dow slightly down, thus allowing Republicans to mitigate the joy of our possible economic recovery.

Instead of the headlines we saw during the W administration (The Stock Market Loves Bush), we’re being treated to “the Dow is up, but trades are scarce…” because of course, the reckless day trading during W was a solid foundation.

Republicans must be praying for someone to attack America so they can change the subject, because it’s their only hope for winning elections if the economy recovers.

Hannity Pushes Fox to Pretend They Have Ethics

Just weeks after Hannity got busted scamming the troops Republicans claim to support (the “Freedom Concerts” conducted by Hannity and the Freedom Alliance supposedly went to pay college tuition for the children of soldiers and provide needed funds to help out soldiers severely injured, but it turns out, the charity barely gave any money as the coffers went to supply Hannity’s diva-esque needs), Hannity makes news again for trying to grift off the right, but his time, even Rupert says “Enough”. LATimes reports:

“Angry Fox News executives ordered host Sean Hannity to abandon plans to broadcast his nightly show as part of a Tea Party rally in Cincinnati on Thursday after top executives learned that he was set to headline the event, proceeds from which would benefit the local Tea Party organization.”

Perhaps Rupert is shying away from actually stamping his approval on the growing right wing militia movement…or else they’re just embarrassed being caught charging for a Tea Bagger event, given that without Fox pushing the TP movement, there would be no movement. This dance with sedition and falsely inflating popularity is all sounding so SarahPAC.

Rupert has never before publicly chastised his talent, so perhaps Hannity is becoming an undeniable shame. The notion of which leaves reasonable people to question Rupert’s endorsement of Beck, Palin et al.

Fox News Sends Barbie to Decimate Constitution

It was super upsetting to Fox when a federal judge determined that National Prayer day violated the Constitution, because as you know, this is a Christian Nationalist Country. Luckily, Fox’s Lawyer Barbie explains away the Constitution, in yet another nod to Fox’s mantra that skin wins. Or, more specifically in this case, false eyelashes imbue speaker with unassailable knowledge regarding the law.


Rah rah, drill baby drill, Jesus loves lies.

Never mind that right wing hero Thomas Jefferson claimed that we needed to guard against religious installation as it “begets habits of hypocrisy and meanness.” I really can’t say much more about this lest the stupidity be contagious, except that I await the next “Jesus loves haters” comment from a Constitutionally Impaired Teabagger.

I’m just spitballin’ here, but maybe it’s not enough to don the costume; maybe you actually need to read the constitution? Republicans could sure use some of Thomas Jefferson’s “common sense” about now, eh?

Yet Another Sarah Palin Scandal

In what is becoming a weekly occurrence, Palin made the news again with another “Gate”. Sigh.

This time, Palin’s speaking contract was pulled from the garbage resulting in an investigation and embarrassing revelations regarding Palin’s demands, which include bendy straws and Lear jets. In Real Merika, apparently, someone is “just like me” when they refuse to travel in a Lear Jet unless it is a specific size. Across the country, Palin defenders (AKA; Joe the Tingle Up My Leg) attacked anyone who dared to suggest that perhaps Palin was more of a celebrity diva than a politician, comparing her air travel to Nancy Pelois’s air travel. Yeah, ‘cuz being third in line to the Presidency is kinda like being a speaker at the Wine and Spirits Convention, except that you have real responsibilities.

Thus we conclude the past week of Wing Nut Circus. If you made it this far, please join me in a quiet moment of reflection for what could be had 2008 gone the other way.

Feel free to remind me of what I left out.

8 Replies to “Weekly Round Up of GOP Wing Nut Circus April 18, 2010”

  1. OMG – “Or, more specifically in this case, false eyelashes imbue speaker with unassailable knowledge regarding the law.”

    ,‘cuz being third in line to the Presidency is kinda like being a speaker at the Wine and Spirits Convention, except that you have real responsibilities.

    Dude, HILARIOUS.

  2. Who would have thought we would miss the days of Bob Dole and his third person references. Sad that the GOP have fallen so far so fast you can almost hear them break the sound barrier.

  3. @Oldsun,

    Hahaha! So true. Just as when Britney had her very public melt down, foretold by shameless peeks at God’s territory and puffy, just-injected duck lips, we couldn’t look away.

    We’re just waiting for the moment we know is coming; when the GOP takes a razor to their collective false narratives and shreds them to pieces in a last desperate attempt at relevance.

  4. How about we LET Texas secede and then let them all move there. If Texas isn’t big enough, I’m sure there are several others who would join them. Good for them, good for America.

  5. @Bob H,

    I’ve thought about this: we would save a lot of money since Texas sucks money off the federal government, so that would be a bonus. The real problem for us would be the borders, as once these clowns got a whiff of true Galtism, they’d be whining for the feds to save them from their stupidity and trying to cross the borders back into our great country, with the Democratic President who feels gov should play a role in the well being of the people.

    Perhaps we can round up volunteers to patrol the Texas/America borders?

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