Palin-Cowered Media Skewer Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama and Daughter Enjoy Cultural Experience in Spain

Media Who Are Afraid to Ask Palin What she Reads Skewer First Lady: Welcome to the New Feminism. It’s just like the old feminism. Ignored.

Ladies, ladies, ladies. Every time we take a step forward, we seem to get knocked back by ten. Or one hundred. The media, those mean old liberal elites who are too scared to push back against Palin on pretty much anything, even tenuously suggesting she might not be telling the whole story when it comes to …well, just about anything…..lest they be called “Sexists” by the Right Wing, have picked up their Hillary hatchets and aimed them right at Michelle Obama.

While the poor Right is all over the place trying to find a meme to stick to Michelle Obama — one day a gangster Marxist the next Marie Antoinette (as the media called both Nancy Reagan and Hillary Clinton) — the main stream media gnaws away at any notion of feminine independence by criticizing her for leaving the President by himself on his birthday. Bad girl.

MSNBC: “Obama’s backup birthday date: Oprah Winfrey”

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“Alone on his 49th birthday, President Barack Obama fled the empty White House mansion for a more intimate celebration with longtime friends in his Chicago hometown, including Oprah Winfrey.”

Ok, I get it, it’s sad….

But some of the ladies of the media (hello, liberal MSNBC) acted like the jealous secretary who’s so sure she can take care of the Big Man better, taking pot shots at Michelle for spending time with her daughter before summer vacation is over and thereby abandoning the President on his birthday, taking note that she had also had the cheek to not be there when Healthcare got passed. And yes, the other daughter had the audacity to be at summer camp during her father’s birthday. It’s woman v woman in the Patriarchy Redoux; Feminism Regression.

One wonders if we should perhaps pass a law prohibiting wives and daughters from living on their man’s birthday. I mean, this is just common sense conservatism because without such a measure, well, the American family would be at risk.

Yes, ladies, the meme of the lonely man who just needs a good woman who will stop living for him is still alive. If only she had given up breathing independently….

Some speculate that perhaps Michelle is resentful of having to trade recipes, thereby taking a swipe at the women who enjoy providing food for their families as if this is a burdensome thing for an educated woman, never realizing that women are actually HUMAN BEINGS with complexity and nuance. We come in many forms. Some of us read and cook! It’s true! Some of us sew and have successful careers! Some of us take care of our children and clean the house! Some of us lie around reading Dorothy Parker. It takes all kinds.

This here is how the liberal elite treat their own. Naughty Michelle dared to want to share another culture with her daughter. The shame. Get back to the kitchen, Michelle! NOW! And look cute while you’re at it, girl. This isn’t a democracy.

Aw, no, I kid. I kid.

Gosh it’s too bad Michelle isn’t a Republican, because if you are on the Patriarchs’ side, they will protect you and attack for you. In fact, anything you do is written off as OK because you are a Mama Grizzly (who knows her place). See, if you’re a Mama Grizzly you can spend a year and a half away from your children and husband and no one would dare utter a word about it, after all, you’re selling patriarchy for them, so you’re doing your Christian duty as a woman.

Nothing gets you out of the kitchen faster than selling your soul on a national level, girls. Listen up.

If Michelle Obama were a Republican, this entire press debacle would read differently and the press would have been so busy trying not to appear sexist that they would have never fact-checked the supplied narrative. A pre-emptive press release would have read:

First dudette and Mama Grizzly took her cubs on their last family trip before summer vacation was over. The First Family wished that Michelle could have been with Barack on his birthday, but these are the sacrifices of a Mama Grizzly! Fightin’ for her family! Risin’ up! And after all, the job of a Mama is never done. Can’t be feelin’ bad about splittin’ tasks since we are not like some, there, liberals who have perhaps a nanny.

A patriotic Michelle, having just gotten her passport, not being one of those whose parents gave her one, also sacrificed being out of the country on her husband’s birthday, just to teach her girls about the freedoms of America that their Commander-in-Chief father is protecting by showing them just how unexceptional the rest of world is. USA! USA! USA!

The First Family is so rarely together, busy as they are serving their country. While some in the media don’t think they should spend any time together, they look forward to their upcoming family vacation where they can all sit around the dinner table together enjoying stories about the Commander-in-Chief showing those mean old Muslims a thing or two. USA! USA! USA! (now, for good measure, throw in some distracting fear balls so the media can run with them instead of focusing on fact-checking you. I’d suggest the omni-present and ominous chant: OBAMA PELOSI REED!)

See how easy that is?

Plus, to set the stage, you must remember that Michelle would have stepped off her private jet and then posed for pictures getting off a bus and the American media would have sold the bus story to the public (that’s how you do it, Michelle! You pretend, girl; keep selling us the lie that we can do it all!). They would also be selling pictures of Michelle and the girls riding 4 wheelers and hooking bait onto the line in Spain (not real: shot for her Reality TV show), while also allowing Michelle to post false screeds from her Facebook Page about how she was busy workin’ on her family fishing business (as all media stars do) because she, Mama Grizzly, needed to rise up and take care of her cubs even if the lame stream media was going to misunderestimate the importance of Michelle’s objections to …….Wait, I’m lost.

The important thing here, girls, is that image is everything. Forget reality. Forget honesty. Forget integrity.

Michelle, go get you a cute hair piece, pose in some short shorts with a flag around you, and then leave your family behind as you traipse around the country (remember, you just got your passport, so Spain would be a long-shot) selling Family Values, homespun Christianity, and Mama Grizzlies. If anyone criticizes you, cry, “Sexism!” Never, ever, let the hypocrisy hit you in the bum or else the Man might not love you anymore.

And some other girl who is willing to give up breathing for Him might just step in and take your place. Are you scared yet? You should be. Without your man, who are you?

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