The Battle for Moral Authority Continues in O’Reilly v Aniston (Real America v Evil Hollywood Liberal Elite).
It’s Friday people. Time for some light sparring and who can bring it? No one can bring it like Bill O’Reilly, King of the Moral Poutrage and also, too, superb pretender as Moral Authority of America. Who’s he goin’ after now? Well…..I’m willing to bet Moral High Grounder Bill O’Reilly will be taking pot shots at evil liberal elite Jen Aniston today, after her “R-word” slip up today on the Regis and Kelly show. Come on, you know conservatives are just salivating over this one, post-Dr Laura “N-word” rant! Cue the false equivalencies and impugned characters!
The bad news is that if Bill-O doesn’t get to the cameras first, Sarah Palin might come out of hiding and attack America with her voice. You know she gets super upset when a perceived liberal says the “R-word”. She is a-ok with the “N-word” though, because we have free speech. Got it?
And as a liberal (and hence clearly on the wrong side of any moral argument, circa 1950), I just want to say, I was appalled before she even got to the R word. There are other words, Jen, besides “fun” and “retarded”. Other words.
CNN Marquee Blog reports:
“The 41-year-old star made her way to “Live! With Regis and Kelly” Thursday and let the word “retard” slip in the middle of a self-deprecating remark.
Aniston was chatting with Regis Philbin and Kristin Cruz from Los Angeles radio station 103.5 about her Harper’s Bazaar Barbra Streisand photos. Cruz asked how she got in the mood to “really embody” Streisand, and Aniston replied, “I play dress-up. I do it for a living, like a retard.”
The audience chuckled, and guest host Cruz kept rolling with a follow-up question, but the comment hasn’t gone unnoticed.”
This is the perfect opening for Moral High Ground King Bill O’Reilly to step in and school the horrid liberal elite about political correctness, which conservatives were for before they were against, but now they’re for again. Only if it’s the “R-word”. If you say the “N-word”, you are golden (see Dr. Laura and the first amendment as it applies to protecting conservatives from backlash after saying dumb things).
I don’t get why you silly liberals can’t keep up with this! “N-word” OK. “R-word” bad.
Flashback to how this tussle for moral authority (Hollywood Elite and Clearly Terrible Person versus Bill O’Reilly, Fox Anchor, Sexual Harasser and Falafel lover):
Jennifer had the nerve to say: “Women don’t have to settle with a man to have a child,” which naturally threatened Bill-O, because if we don’t need men like him for sperm, honestly….what would his purpose be? And let’s fact it, girls, you can find a boss to sexually harass you anywhere…so it’s not like Bill-O is so special.
Jen suggested that due to science (which is also a liberal invention apparently), we aren’t forced to settle for a horrible man just to have a baby….but Bill-O only believes in the free market when it comes to Wall Street, so naturally he put an end to the notion of competition and freedom in the daddy market. And don’t even think about whispering anything about evolution, you naughty elite science lover.
Bill-O took to the air to denounce Jen for the cheekiness of suggesting women don’t need men. In his wild rant against the petite elite, Bill-O said Jen was downplaying the importance of fathers, which he feels is destructive to our society. Pause while we ignore the utter hubris of Bill-O accusing someone who is not on Fox News of being destructive to society……
Back to the real issue: OK, girls, would you rather have a man who calls girls who work for him in order to sexually harasses them, offering to shove falafels up their privates, as a father for your baby or do you sometimes think that maybe you might rather have standards for the daddy of your baby? I mean, science is lookin’ kinda good here, I have to admit. Not that I get a vote…being a woman and all.
Jen pushed back: “Of course the ideal scenario for parenting is two parents of a mature age. And of course, many women dream of finding Prince Charming (with fatherly instincts), but for those who’ve not yet found their Bill O’Reilly…I’m just glad science has provided a few other options.”
Er, Jen….Bill-O isn’t exactly Prince Charming, but I’m guessin’ you knew that, you smarty pants liberal. Is this the part where I get to point out that Jen said “two parents of mature age” but never denoted their sex? Or should I focus on how evil Jen tried to scare the Fox host with mention of science?
I can’t wait to hear Bill-O weigh in on this one, with that smirky look of contempt as he explains why saying the “R-word” once (bad Jen) is the same as saying the “N-word” over and over and over and over and over……because, of course, there is literally no difference in slipping and choosing to say something over and over and over again. No difference! The “R-word” is just much worse because it’s likely to bring Sarah Palin out of hiding. She might even release a short video to be played on Fox News, wherein she tortures Americans by speaking and telling us why she’s taking away all of our freedoms because we are mean to her.
America awaits Bill-O’s moral guidance on this pressing issue of the “R-word”. And please, Bill-O, hurry up to claim this one before Sarah Palin issues another Facebook rant from her cave of cowardice. Please, Bill. I’m begging you, for real America. Do it for the troops.
Note: Yes, it is wrong and bad to use the “R-word”. Please make note and cease immediately. And if you see Jennifer Aniston on the street, don’t make eye contact.
Ms. Jones is the co-founder/ editor-in-chief of PoliticusUSA and a member of the White House press pool.
Sarah hosts Politicus News and co-hosts Politicus Radio. Her analysis has been featured on several national radio, television news programs and talk shows, and print outlets including Stateside with David Shuster, as well as The Washington Post, The Atlantic Wire, CNN, MSNBC, The Week, The Hollywood Reporter, and more.
Sarah is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists.