The Faux Hotties of FOX News

The Fox Girls

You can’t turn on FOX News without being turned on. Or at least that seems to be the intention; perhaps when the content is so minimal you need to distract viewers from the lack of any real news.

After all, it is faux news – propaganda – and the real heart and power of propaganda is in the packaging, in appearances. And FOX News knows all about packaging.

It’s like a KFC buffet – all breasts and thighs.

But where’s the beef?

There isn’t much, unfortunately. It’s all smoke and mirrors over there at FOX, a glitzy bait and switch disguised as a show and tell.

Allure Magazine has put up an online slideshow with the proclamation that “With its bevy of babes, the network should be called the Foxy News Channel.”

I don’t know about that. Everyone knows that sex is more in the brain than in appearances (or maybe that’s just liberals…). What are otherwise attractive people can become quite unattractive when they open their mouths. Let’s face it: ignorance is not an appealing characteristic.

But there is no doubt that FNC is playing to the lowest common denominator, if not the lowest necklines – and highest hems.

As conservative website IHateTheMedia! reported in 2009, “Fox News ratings are rising, so are its anchors’ skirts.” Their accompanying photo exposé confirmed their claim quite convincingly.

I like a beautiful woman as much as the next guy but I turn on the news to actually watch news, not a fashion show. I want my intellect, not my libido, to be stimulated.

I’ve been in cardio-rehab for three months now, subjected to an endless parade of bouncy faux babes strutting their stuff one one of the three monitors overhead, while ESPN and ABC go about the mundane business of actually reporting the news – and wearing clothes.

Put it all down to old-fashioned bourgeois prejudices if you must, but I have a problem with this.

Let’s look beyond the gams…I mean the glam, for a moment and at what comes out of their mouths, It’s neither promising nor enlightening.

Gretchen Carlson

Gretchen Carlson, former Miss America, on March 10 of this year actually claimed – apropos of the Texas Schoolbook Massacre – that the forces of darkness planned to “eliminate references to certain holidays, Founding Fathers, the Constitution! I mean, no surprise that Christmas, they want to get rid of that because they’ve been doing that for the last couple of years, but c’mon, the Constitution?”

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.

As Politifact reported, “The Texas Education Agency, which oversees primary and secondary education, blasted Fox News for distorting the facts:

“The Fox Network in recent days has repeatedly broadcast highly inaccurate information about the State Board of Education’s efforts to adopt the new social studies curriculum standards,” the agency said in a press release.”

But hey, she looks good, right? FOX knows how to package the propaganda.

Of course, nothing Gretchen said was true. Politifact gave her a well-deserved “Pants on Fire” rating for the gaffe.

It’s not Gretchen’s first hoof and mouth experience. Back during the Bush maladministration she accused Ted Kennedy of being an enemy of the United, a “hostile enemy…right here on the home front.”

Yes, Ted Kennedy, while the president was calling the Constitution “just a goddamned piece of paper”.

You have to wonder if there is anything going on behind those pretty eyes.

But let’s cut her some slack; we know that actually reporting the news is very low on FNC’s list of priorities. Titillating the audience apparently is where it’s at. Show ’em beautiful women in slinky outfits and make ’em mad with lies and lust. It’s a magical combination and it seems to be working. They’re clearly a better vehicle than a certain bloated Oxycontin-addicted host we’re all familiar with.

But isn’t there something insulting to women to stack (pardon the expression) the cast with hot, ignorant women?

Let’s take a look at Exhibit Number Two:

Ainsley Earhardt

Gretchen doesn’t operate in a vacuum at FOX. Ainsley Earhardt brought out the anti-atheist idiocy as vividly as she brings out her breasts:

It’s almost breathtaking. I mean, you want to be turned on and turned off at the same time. It’s such a strange and irreconcilable combination of emotions, all these lovely scantily clad women uttering such stupidity. It’s worse than a beauty pageant.

But it explains why they’re so in love with a woman who thinks having Putin fly over Alaska makes her a foreign policy expert, doesn’t it?

But Ainsley really wants us to get a good look at her assets, and she’s not shy about showing them. She even posed for an up-the-skirt shot that became the rage on YouTube (you can Google it) and which must have left dirty old men drooling all over “Conservia.”

Then there is Exhibit Number Three: Lis Wiehl, the FOX legal analyst. Notice where this man’s eyes are:

Lisa Weihl

You can bet his brains are not on what she is saying, and yours are not meant to be either.

And Exhibit Number Four: Fox’s Supreme Court reporter, Shannon Bream:

Shannon Bream

The Anchorbabes blog complained in March, “It’s kind of a shame that FOX has so many hot news babes, because a hottie like Shannon can get lost in the shuffle.”


Katie Couric?

Katie Couric

Not hardly.

Can you imagine this coming out of Katie Couric’s mouth? It came out of the mouth of FOX correspondent Courtney Friel (she of swimsuit-layout fame):

I have a problem with horse male genitalia. They need to wear diapers, because I feel violated… They are setting young girls up for high expectations, because none of their men are going to be like that. I was in Hawaii and I was going to go horseback riding and that was really big, and you would have thought I wanted to ride it, but no.

Back in 2007 a Christian watchdog group complained about this FOX cesspit of iniquity. Mark Dice, leader of the “Resistance” moaned, “I see shorter skirts on the women of Fox News than I do on the prostitutes being arrested on cop shows.”

Mark was destined for disappointment. The short skirts and low-cut tops are still there in abundance, along with thighs and breasts. The “Family Values” network? No, more of a political fund-raising network now – and sex sells.

Of course, these folks are more worried about what pops out of their clothes than what comes out of their mouths. Now to be fair, no news channel is perfect, and other women on other networks sometimes wear what might be considered inappropriate garb on air. But there is simply no comparison.

Megyn Kelly

In the end, it is difficult to find fault with the analysis of Videogum back in 2009 with regards to Megyn Kelly (and applying it to all of those faux babes), “Megyn Kelly, the Fox News anchor whose face and demeanor are as irritating on a visceral level as the thought of licking a dry Popsicle stick.”

Yeah, that says it all, I think.

23 Replies to “The Faux Hotties of FOX News”

  1. Ladies & gentlemen, I give you the proto-typical liberal: Yes! It slices, it dices, it denounces all others as inbred morons while peddling the same ancient caveman-like misogyny that led to the invention of mace. Yes, liberals–convinced the entire world exists simply to please them. Megyn Kelly, why did you get that law degree? Didn’t a liberal tell you that biologically as a woman all you’ll ever be is boobs and hair? Stop grilling that Congressman, Megyn! You’re in a sexy fashion show! Even though as an anchor, no one ever sees your outfit or the lower half of your torso….

    When you stop discussing the arguments of people you disagree with, and start demeaning any woman you find attractive…You start to come off as, well, a sexually frustrated impotent pissant. Cheers!

  2. I used to watch Fox and friends in the morning just to see the girl ( who is now the morning anchor on CNN) spread her legs. Yes Martha it’s true, I am a known pervert.

    I remember watching her one day when they had a basketball player on. She tried to put his shoes on and walk around and she was blatantly sitting there with her skirt wide open.

    Five days later when I got out of the hospital I decided thatI needed to change my morning news Channel. So I did. And now I see her on CNN every morning. with clothing

    Mind you this was quite some time ago before Fox news blatantly became little more than a tattletale place

  3. and tell us, what does the proto-typical conservative look like? To date its been all hate and lies. Watch out for the death panels

  4. Proto-typical liberal, eh? Please re-read my article and tell me where I said everyone else was an “inbred” (word I never used) “moron” (another word I never used).

    Indeed, if you read the article at all, you misunderstood everything said. Or perhaps because it violates your worldview you simply cannot accept it.

    Please, instead of ad hominem attacks and misinterpretations of points of view and putting words in my mouth, offer a cogent rebuttal of my arguments.

  5. I think we’re better off not having to look at the proto-type conservative: Cheney, Rove, Rush……This is why they try so hard to package their message of hate and division (all meant to enrich themselves and others at their level) in razzle dazzle.

  6. Thanks, Hraf, for speaking out about this. Coming from a man, this observation carries an inherent validation that the author sees women as whole people, not just external eye candy. Sadly, it seems we need this from males in order for it to carry weight in a debate with modern day conservatives. And that fact tells you the truth about where they stand on women’s issues.

    It bothers me that this country seems so intimidated by a woman who owns her beauty instead of co-opting it out for male consumption. But empty vessels like many of these Faux hosts make me really uncomfortable. This is a particularly American issue — many other countries have smart, sexy women in power (yes, even some third world countries) and the men are just fine with it.

    Here, we’re still dealing with a very threatened group of white males who clearly can’t feel powerful if a woman can speak her mind. Very depressing at times.

  7. And then there are the Russian nude news shows.

    I find the American right wing’s tendency to imitate the Evil Empire of my youth darkly charming.

  8. Hey V,

    Not that your trolling, simpleton ass will come back on here again, but let me say it out loud anyway… liberals point out that Fox News and conservatives push bimbo barbies to the forefront because we aren’t dumb; we clearly see the ploy.

    The prototypical conservative viewer however, dismisses any content or intellect and sits there drooling, fantasizing about the good ol’ days when women were only seen preferably naked) and not heard…

  9. Your comment definitely falls under the new version of a 1st amendment violation. Don’t be so outraged. You’re just upset that a woman didn’t write the article so you could accuse her of being jealous. You must know it’s the standard accusation to any woman who criticizes Palin. Did you like the recently pulled ad comparing all the beautiful republican women to all the homely democatic women? A liberal never told me all I’d ever be is boobs and hair but there are a lot of conservatives telling me that is all that matters.

  10. “Here, we’re still dealing with a very threatened group of white males who clearly can’t feel powerful if a woman can speak her mind.”

    You had me until you posted this nonsense.

  11. Keith Olbermann commented once on the issue of conservatives talking about the beauty of conservative women compared to that of Democratic women, and he made what I thought was a very salient point: That this is what the conservatives value in a woman. Looks. Not brains, not integrity, not compassion, not leadership skills – looks.

    Why else would they choose Sarah Palin? What are her leadership skills, if any? “In what respect, Charlie?”

    There were plenty of well-known conservative women with political credibility that McCain could have chosen as a running mate in 2008, but he went with looks over leadership qualities. That speaks volumes, to me.

    Not to mention the whole “Miss Buffalo Chip” controversy that never seemed to make it into the mass media… when McCain said that his wife could have been the first “First Lady” who could also be “Miss Buffalo Chip”. This was at the Sturgis motorcycle rally.

    That “beauty” contest generally includes semi-nudity, and at times even simulated sexual acts… and here’s McCain, talking about his wife being part of it. And there was no uproar from the media. Keith Olbermann did a segment on it, and showed the video, but that was pretty much it.

    There is no way on Earth that candidate Obama would have gotten a pass on this, but…. what more can I say?

  12. Unfortunately I think that some of the Foxy babes are quite intelligent but have willingly signed on to represent the dark side. Did you see Jon Stuart rip Gretchen for acting dumb when she actually has a pretty impressive academic background and musical talent? On the other hand, you have a vacuous media ho like Sarah Palin who is so caught up in the attention that she probably doesn’t even know what a tool she is.

  13. I seriously wonder if McCain is experiencing dementia. He is making more and more inappropriate sexual comments (Snooki, for example) for a politician. Only anecdotally, because I am not an expert in the field, but I have seen this happen in male family members with dementia. Maybe this is nothing new for McCain, and I just didn’t pay that much attention to him until now.

  14. I think being deliberately ignorant is a very popular thing to be on the right at the moment. Those who aren’t congenitally stupid are pretending to be. Effectively, there isn’t much of a difference.

  15. Well we see the intelligence of the republicans like Palin, Bachman, Angle, Prejean all pretty attractive women on the outside. Nothing much on the inside. Fox News is a cancer that needs to die a horrible, horrible death. They are not a new outlet. They pandered to Cheney and Bush and Fox’s eyes that administration has never ever done anything wrong. On the other hand you hear from this administration back talk about the liberals on the left who actually hold the administration to their promises. None on the right ever did. You on the right can have all the pretty girls that have nothing going for them in their brain especially the teapublican teatards like Bachman, Angle and Palin. No thanks I stick with the woman on the left who knows what a real hards day work is like. While the teapublicans put out (or pimp) themselves out for the vote. After all that is all they have.

  16. I hate to say it but conservatives seem to be the ones who are interested in the boobs. How else will they attract men to Fox News. Those are facts. They want sexy and submissive women. They have this dream that some women are good homemakers and good whores in the bedroom. The republicans have so many hangups. They talk family values and what do you get? Vitters, ho’s and diapers. Yet they forgive him and any other republican and yet still preach family values. Wow I often ask my republican friends why is it easy to forgive a Vitters or Gringich but you can’t forgive Clinton or any democrat? Then I ask how do you know god forgives them? Has god told you? It stumps them all the time. Democrats aren’t perfect but by god neither are republicans.

  17. Funny how you proved what they are selling means nothing. Nothing because you couldn’t remember what she was saying. That is about right.

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