Gold Digging Tea Party Gals Rolling in Dough

Tea Party Girls: It's all about the Money Honey
Tea Party Girls: It's all about the Money Honey
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Tea Party Gals Rolling in Dough

Money numbers are in and it looks like our ladies of the far Right are being amply rewarded for their sublimely obtuse renditions of Poujadist Puppetry as candidate routines. Tea Party candidates Sharron Angle and Christine O’Donnell both pulled in a ton of cash in the last few months. And you were wondering what those Brawny paper towels were good for. But please, don’t think these girls are just in it for the money. No, no, they care, honest they do.

Sharron Angle has been rewarded for her scary brown skinned campaign by 14.3 million dollars in donations in the last quarter, nearly three times that of her Republican opponent (aka, the saner R not to be confused with sane). The breathless pace of Angle’s take far outpaces any record set by a Nevada candidate, including Reid. It’s sort of that shoot first vet later mentality that worked so well during the 2008 campaign. But anyway, the numbers don’t lie! Don’t tell me her ignorance isn’t equal to his expertise.

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That’s a whole lotta money pouring in to help the rape and incest victim lemonade maker get into position so she can beat Reid, the third spoke on the anti-Christ wheel. Sharron’s scrappy refusal to appear on TV without hawking her gold pyramid scheme (give Angle all your cash because she’s for the little people, insert laugh here) is paying off!

Sharron Angle: because nothing says Christian like bigotry and ignorance combined with low–level, always simmering, swinishly Neanderthal, racially targeted verbal violence.

And then we have cute Christy in Delaware, smiling her way into riches. Christine O’Donnell has been gifted with more than 3 million dollars for the quarter, which is good since I hear she’s looking at upgrading her house. Oh, I kid! I’m sure she’s going to use that money on important things like denying she’s a witch, because that is so the issue of the year. O’Donnell raised this money in just two weeks. Gosh, it pays to have super wealthy “friends” (come on, corporations count as friends) who need you to go to DC to be their puppet.

They say Christine has “I am you’d” her way to another million so far this quarter, because nothing says competence like a previous satanic altar sex-having witch running on an anti-masturbation platform who found Jesus only because she likes meatballs. And yes, she really does love you and no this isn’t about the money, how could you think that?

Ovaries, a pair of glasses and the ability to talk without making any sense while simultaneously threatening several precariously situated countries and insulting your own heritage as an American is simply all the rage this season. Be a Tea Party gal and we’ll roll ya’ in dough.

Hey, you know, this is some real glass ceiling shattering now that I think about it. These girls don’t have to just sell themselves out to one man, they get to go to Big Daddy’s pocketbook over and over and over again, and then steal from the non-alpha males too! Win, win! Talk about feminism!

I see the tarnished lust of a gold-digger from my kitchen window and I think, wow, progress has come to America and it’s wearing a tea bag.

13 Replies to “Gold Digging Tea Party Gals Rolling in Dough”

  1. Such nasty vitriol; completely baseless and biased.

    Hopefully by this time next month Americans will be cheering that Odumbo was crippled until he is ejected in 2012.

    Word.

  2. more to the point, what happens to this money when both of these lunatics lose? Or even if they win? Does it go into someone’s fund? Do they get to keep it for the next campaign?

    To me it is just astounding and it says so little for our political process that Christine McDonnell could raise more than five dollars. This is making a complete joke out of our political system. all this girl wants is a job with the media.
    Sharron Angle has went back on everything that she used to stand for and totally reversed herself. I have to ask how can the tea party members continue to give her money? How on earth can they now vote for her? I know why the Koch brothers continue to give her money.
    I don’t agree that our immigration system is broken, but I can sure tell you that our political elections system is not only broken, I think it’s unrepairable

  3. America please wake up! These self serving opportunistic unknowledgeable tea party candidates are puppets to big business, extremist groups around the country and potential foreign investors. They are sellouts to America and are being taken in because of their own need and greed. In the meantime our country is being sold down the river thanks to our conservative majority on the supreme court. This is a real threat to our democracy! We must stand up against these secret private donors and vote for real candidates who’s intent is to truly and genuinely serve this nation. The Obama administration has had less than 2 years to fix the problems of many years and in some cases decades. Big business is currently making record profits and refusing to hire. This is an agenda against Obama and to support greed. We can’t give in to the lunacy. Please vote Democratic. Do you want secret wealth and power running this country and still offering no jobs as is being currently demonstrated? If we have foreign investors, it may be to their interest to have jobs outsourced. Wake up America and smell the coffee. Who is really behind the Tea Party? Thank you Sarah Jones for keeping it real!

  4. The Tea Party rank and file should start asking themselves, if they are a populist, grass roots movement like they claim, where all these millions are coming from. It’s not coming from “real” Americans like Joe the non-Plumber.

  5. Sick of this republi-troll, he never has anything to add to the topic of value. just anti-this anti-that, blah blah, I’m a 16yo in my mommies basement, blah blah..

  6. FJoy, only conservatives keep it real.

    If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
    If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

    If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
    If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

    If a conservative is homosexual, he “quietly” leads his life.
    If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

    If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
    A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

    If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
    Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

    If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
    A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!) …yes….of course….

    If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
    A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

    If a conservative is unhappy with the government…they peacefully assemble and voice dissent…(they even pick up their trash and leave the place spotless)
    Liberals don’t voice civil dissent….they lie, cheat, deceive, scream, become violent and threatening…they don’t believe in “free speech” and they are the most intolerant people in this world….There is NO group, more intolerant of free thinking and speech than liberals.

  7. Smarg said:

    “Liberals don’t voice civil dissent….they lie, cheat, deceive, scream, become violent and threatening…they don’t believe in “free speech” and they are the most intolerant people in this world….There is NO group, more intolerant of free thinking and speech than liberals.”

    Really Smarg, because in the last 50 years I have never, ever heard so many lies, distortions and half truths coming from the republican party and their supporters. I am absolutely amazed at the level of pure, unsubstantiated rubbish that is persistently pushed on the American public by right wing radio and TV personalities. Talk about intolerance, lying, cheating, deception and malice, you guys shovel it by the truckload.

  8. Hi, Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel, I haven’t seen your name for quite a while and hope all is fine with you.

    What do you bet “Smarg” didn’t even write that BS? He probably stole it and reversed conservative and liberal.

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