Bill Kristol Begs Obama to Become a Republican

Bill Kristol's Willie Wonka Dreams

Bill Kristol's Willie Wonka Dreams

Bill Kristol Urges Obama to Become a Republican

For a faction that spends so much of its time dissing Obama, the Right never stops trying to co-opt his inherent popularity and the general trust the American people have in his character. To that end, this morning Bill Kristol is begging Obama to become a Republican. Wouldn’t that give their faux populist bent some super cred that Michael Steele somehow never managed to pull off?

Oh, you think it’s unfair of me to assume that they’re just looking for some color cred and you’re right. Why, the diversity in the oxymoronic modern day Republican Party takes my breath away. Especially I love how they kept their promises to the Mama Grizzles, who are now running the world from what only appear to be powerless positions, but we all know that the kitchen rules the roost.

Here’s Bill on the November 14 edition of Fox Broadcasting Co.’s Fox News Sunday, finally figuring out how to solve the national crisis his party created. His solution? The President should bang his head against the same brick wall of failed ideas that the Republicans refuse to give up, regardless of reality! Who can say Bill doesn’t love America?

Video courtesy of Media Matters.

As a way to deflect from the glaringly obvious upcoming civil war among Teapublicans (starring Mitch McConnell against tea paper dragon Jim DeMint) over earmarks and other awkward promises of fiscal conservatism they are already walking back (in their own districts, much as anti-choices are against abortion unless they need one), Kristol tossed out that Obama will join the Republican agenda, and things will be blissful:

“Republicans will be against earmarks, President Obama will be against earmarks and we’re going to have a wonderful moment of blessed bipartisan bliss. We’re gonna have agreement on extending current tax rates for three or four years, an agreement we shouldn’t have earmarks, agreement on spending cuts, agreement on prosecuting war in Afghanistan. We’re gonna have the Obama, Boehner, DeMint agenda for the next three or four months and it’s gonna be good for the country.”

You can hear Bill’s shaky breath on the exhale after he utters this most absurd Willie Wonka version of how government works when his Party only has one branch of government locked up. But don’t get mad, you know Republicans don’t do reality. Props to Bill, though, for daring to explain on Fox News that Obama doesn’t have totalitarian control of discretionary funding as some in his party are suggesting. Even these small drops of knowledge regarding how government actually works can be viewed as betrayal by the base, so good on ya’, Bill!

Thinkin’ on Bill’s plan, if you leave reality at the door, I have to agree. I mean what says I love my country more than signing on to continue policies that have brought your country to her knees, conceived of by men who brought down every sector of the economy during an 8 year dry drunk binge, who are still refusing recovery?

The only problem I see with this plan, Bill, is that the Republicans have no agenda. Remember? Ya’ll have a Contract on America that was slick and cute and oh so energizing, but it had no…. plan. Where’s the beef, Bill? Oh…that’s right. Bill probably wants Obama to just become a Republican so as to minimize this entire losing the 2008 election thing by a landslide because so far, what he’s proposing is extending unpaid for tax cuts for the wealthy and cutting spending…now, that would be fine and dandy if Republicans ever cut spending, but we all know they have a problem with their own sense of entitlement to our tax dollars. So, it’s kinda more of the same, Bill. More of the same ideas that drove us into this dark, dank ditch of despair.

Someone should tell Bill that winning the House of Representatives in the midterms against the incumbent presidential party during a recession isn’t exactly a mandate from the people, so the “Obama, Boehner DeMint agenda” is quite simply a pipe dream. Bill seems to forget that they didn’t win the Senate. Will someone please tap him gently when he wakes from his delusional stupor of entitlement and denial and remind him of the election results and maybe a quick Civics 101 refresher?

No, I think the President might do best to steer clear of Bill’s GOPPER Titanic jihad against America Contract. These “ideas” didn’t work for the last 40 years and I dunno, call me a cynic, but something tells me they’re not gonna work now. We were hoping for a real recovery, Bill. Not more failure. And since we only have another 6 years to balance the budget and get the economy moving before you clowns take over again, we’d really appreciate it if you would just sorta stay on the fringe where ya’ll live. You know, with your party leader, Ms Palin.

Smirking must be contagious in the GOP, because even after epic failure, they all still walk around with those impervious to reality, plastic Bachmann smiles. Only the crazy eyes give it all away. Thank goodness our President isn’t foolish enough to cater to Bill Krazy Kristol. Hey Bill, you do know that the President is just being courteous and hopeful when he asks what your ideas are? Because, you know, we all know that when he tries to implement your ideas, y’all vote against your own ideas just to prove that you’re still the man. And with leadership like that, it’s a wonder the American public refused you the Senate.

Have fun with your House o’ Crazy for the next two years, Bill. I’m afraid that’s all you’re likely to get. America is still waiting for the GOP to actually own up to even one of its failures. Until then, it’s sorta hard to trust you.

Copyright PoliticusUSA LLC 2008-2023