Fox News Humiliates Itself With False Zombie Voter Claims

zombies voting in south carolina!

A hearing today in South Carolina proved that the Fox News touted dead zombie rush for the polls in South Carolina is nothing but a myth!

Yes, hard as it is to believe, 950 dead people did not rise from their graves to vote illegally in South Carolina. That’s right. Zero dead people, no Mickey Mouse, no illegal immigrants and no pimps! Where is James O’Keefe when you need him?

Republican Rep. Alan Clemons spoke these solemn words before today’s hearing, “We must have certainty in South Carolina that zombies aren’t voting.”

And so we must! Wanna guess how many dead people actually voted? Drum roll please.


Well, one, if you count the guy who died after sending in his absentee ballot.

Don’t blame the Foxpublicans for being scared of zombies. Governor Haley appointee and director of the S.C. Department of Motor Vehicles Kevin Shwedo sounded the alarm bell over the 950 dead people voting. So concerned was Kevin that he rushed to turn over his suspicions to the Attorney General, though he did note (and Fox left out) that many of these 957 names of dead people could be the result of clerical errors and voting rolls that weren’t up to date.

Naturally, the South Carolina Attorney General was thrilled by this, as he had already been on Fox News to declare that not 957 dead people, but 37,000 dead people had voting rights in South Carolina! Alan Wilson told FOX’s Megyn Kelly, “What I do know is, is that the Justice Department’s decision to strike down this law under the Voting Rights Act has preserved the voting rights of 37,000 dead people.”

Nothing makes a South Carolinian Republican happier than ginning up some hate at justice, so Wilson took to Fox News again to beat that fear drum about the zombies voting, completely ignoring that his state is already on a special watch requiring pre clearance for having used voting laws to disenfranchise minorities in the past.

On January 12 of this year, Wilson was on Fox News’ America’s Newsroom, to declare incorrectly, “When we were going through the process of getting this law precleared with the Department of Justice, we provided numbers that showed that this would have a minimal effect on minority voters, the elderly, and of course opponents of this bill said that this is trying, this is in search of a problem that doesn’t exist. Well, subsequently, we found out that there were over 900 people who died and then subsequently voted. That number could be even higher than that, Bill. So this is just an example.”

Or rather, since Wilson and Haley are behind the push back against the Department of Justice’s denial of their petition to disenfranchise minority voters – er, voter ID laws that the Justice Department feels will disenfranchise minority voters – Wilson is not ignoring the chastisement South Carolina already received, but rather petulantly doing anything possible to get daddy Justice to change his mind.

Wislon was so jonesing to prove President Obama’s mean Department of Justice wrong that he rushed to TV with his accusations long before he knew if they were in fact true. Or, more precisely, before anyone else knew that they were not true.

Inquiries followed which resulted in the hearing today.

However, instead of providing 950 names of zombie voters, the election commission was only given 6 names. Of those six names, not one of them turned out to be a Dead Person Voting.

Marci Andino, a top state election official, testified that every single one of those 6 people were eligible to vote.

Corey Hutchins of the Columbia based Free-Times reported:

In a news release election agency spokesman Chris Whitmire handed out prior to the hearing, the agency disputed the claim that dead people had voted. One allegedly dead voter on the DMV’s list cast an absentee ballot before dying; another was the result of a poll worker mistakenly marking the voter as his deceased father; two were clerical errors resulting from stray marks on voter registration lists detected by a scanner; two others resulted from poll managers incorrectly marking the name of the voter in question instead of the voter above or below on the list.

The attorney general’s office had only given the State Election Commission six names off its list of 957 names to examine. The agency found every one of them to be alive and otherwise eligible to vote, except for the one who had voted before dying.

During her testimony, Andino confronted the DMV’s claim that dead people had voted.
“Characterizing this as an established fact threatens our confidence” in the election process, she said. “This is not a question that needs to linger in the minds of voters … the truth is out there.”

Darn it! They were so close to proving a need for those pesky voter ID laws that the Department of Justice denied them after they couldn’t prove a need for them. South Carolina even got Fox News to help spread the myth. What’s a state to do when they can’t even rely on Fox News’ lies to enable them to disenfranchise Democrats?

You might think that the zombie petrified Republicans would turn over this list of 957 people who are dead but voted, but they have been keeping the list top secret even while claiming it to be established fact on Fox News. Andino has been asking for the list and reports that she may be allowed to view it today. Or may not.

Not that it matters. After all, the point has been made for Fox News viewers, who will a) never be told that they were misled and b) not care when the truth is pointed out to them.

Just remember this the next time Fox News cries wolf. There are no dead people voting in South Carolina. The only voting fraud proven to be going on in this country recently is from Republican elected officials and a bizarre conservative activist known for his proclivity for dressing up as a pimp/dead person. But heck, it’s not as if we can’t afford a few million to help Republicans try to win elections by denying the vote to certain people by lying about dead zombies taking over the polls.

Fox News: Where Zombies Rule!

Image: The Psych Files
h/t Media Matters

12 Replies to “Fox News Humiliates Itself With False Zombie Voter Claims”

  1. “Not that it matters. After all, the point has been made for Fox News viewers, who will a) never be told that they were misled and b) not care when the truth is pointed out to them.”

    How true that is. Fox likes to report what it likes and what it’s audience wants to hear. Truth or not.

  2. Actually, they are probably counting as deceased the brain-dead voters who cheered Newt Gingrich’s plan to enserf poor children.

  3. Technically all fox viewers are zombies but not all zombies are dead. But all voter fraud is republican so far. I see dead people!

  4. this is absolute proof that Republicans are idiots

    What this guy is doing when he is crowing about 37,000 dead people having voting rights is the same as a CEO standing up in front of a board meeting and probably saying I lost the company $50 million this week.

    Don’t these idiots understand that it’s their responsibility to keep those voting roles cleaned? Can you imagine being responsible for something like that and going on Fox news and crowing about 37,000 people thinking that you’re about to prove some fraudulent voting occurred? When all you really proved is you’re not doing your job you idiot.

    The real problem with this is Fox news will never come back and say, a report of 957 dead zombies voting was wrong. And we will have a bunch of Fox news idiots walking around claiming voter fraud in South Carolina.

  5. I believe three (3) things need to happen asap…

    01)- Intentional lying on TV and/or Radio needs to be outlawed. If a station is promoting a false agenda, they should be prosecuted and loose there license.

    02)- Money needs to be removed from political campaigns.

    03- Any person running for public office must pass a mental stability exam and take random U/A’s.

  6. This just in from foxpublican gnus:

    Dead voters in South Carolina – RUN!!

    No, FREEZE, they can’t see you if you freeze!

    Stockpile garlic, I mean ammo, um, light bulbs, er, no, which one is it?!?!?!

    HIDE! The Communist acorns are coming!!

    We now return you to our regularly scheduled leggy blondes for more pretty pathetic propaganda.

    “Fox News = Fodder for Morons”

  7. Correction: thousands of SC dead vote…anyone who votes for the GOP is literally brain dead, how else would some be so stupid to vote against their own BEST interests!

  8. Did Mr. Shwedo also imply that the possible 37,000 all voted for Democrats as well? If he didn’t, I’m sure he meant to.

  9. So, since they profess to be concerned about voter fraud, are these so-called “zombies” Republicans? After all, it WAS a Republican primary.

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