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The Christian Right Embraces Truly Immoral and Unethical Presidential Candidates

I was ruminating about the myriad contractions that flourish on the political landscape of the Christian right. For a collection of supposedly deeply religious church-goers that demand a pulpit on the steps of the nation’s capital and whose every move in life is strictly reflective of the tenets of the bible, they sure have a highly flexible moral compass.

In South Carolina, that compass of enthusiastic approval pointed in the direction of Newt Gingrich, a man who would commit adultery against not one, but two wives; the first battling cancer, the second, MS. The apostle Paul does not take such behavior lightly, portraying adultery as a “work of the flesh”. Paul has said that adulterers would not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19-21 & Corinthians:6 9,10).

Newt’s third wife, the truly odd looking, Callista, would be equally culpable since at the very least she was a fornicator, having rolled around in the hay for years with a married man. Such licentious activity is also frowned on by the good book.

Nonetheless, Palmetto state ‘Christians’ screamed themselves hoarse over not only an adulterer, but a man who has the ethics of an alley cat as described in numerous submissions to this fine site and in hundreds of thousands of stories on the Internet. Not to worry. Alls fair in love and politics.

How about the Sunshine State’s outpouring of love for Mitt Romney, who turned the tables on Gingrich and won Florida by about the same margin that Gingrich won South Carolina? In this instance the deep tanned, sun worshiping (good practice for the after life) ‘Christians’ embraced a man who has made his life’s work the evading of taxes that all the little people pay. He set up enough tax dodges overseas to keep auditors busy for the next decade. Listen up bible thumpers! Peruse Matthew, Mark and Luke during those few spare moments when you’re not locking eyes with Bill O’Reilly or bending your ear to another jillionaire propagandist, Rush Limbaugh. See what Jesus had to say about paying taxes.

Romney would have wandered all over ancient Israel in Christ’s time. He would have searched the plateaus of Zebulun and Naphtali in search of an unscrupulous moneychanger willing to stash Mitt’s Greek and Roman coinage. He might even park some of his loot in Sepphoris, a city that carpenter Joseph was thought to have helped build. Always smart to stay in the good graces of somebody close to the boss.

Bible Smyble. When it comes to getting rid of that ‘Kenyan father/American mother resident of the White House, right-wing Christians park all their goodly biblical intentions and hop aboard the seven deadly sins bandwagon that might carry them to the political promised land, no matter how sexually charged or unethical. Both Romney and Gingrich are chock-full of most or all the big seven. Lust? Are you kidding me Newt? Greed? Romney’s the template. Sloth? Ever done a day’s manual labor in your adult lives, boys? Pride? Puleeze! Envy?  That’s what us peons are accused of by Romney. He says repeatedly that his critics just “envied his wealth.” This pair has to envy someone with more wealth and power as they relentlessly pursue even more of both.

Anger? Watch both of them over time and you could certainly apply that memorable Reagan line, “There you go again” every time one of them starts to redden up. Finally, there’s gluttony. In truth Mitt looks pretty trim so I’ll give him a pass on that one. Five or six (I’m not sure about the lust thing) out of seven aren’t bad. On the other hand, Gingrich admitted to ABC News late last year that he should lose some weight. How do you gain weight? Eating. How do you gain a lot of weight? Gluttony! Congratulations, Newt. Seven out of seven; you win the Seven Deadly Sins Certificate of Merit.

Rick Santorum makes the thumpers most comfortable. After all the bible has no use for homosexuals either. As for Ron Paul, the Christian Right gave unbridled huzzahs to the old doc when he was asked by Wolf Blitzer during a September, 2011 CNN debate whether a 30-year-old man with six months to live should simply be left to die. To audience cries of “Yeah”, Paul said churches should take care of their own. Great response. I’m sure those bloodlust ‘let him die’ Christian audience members would be eager to take care of the ailing young man. Maybe if he was a member of the Tea Party. Maybe. In other venues, I’ve heard Paul coldly say that people should ‘take responsibility’ for themselves without government health care intervention.

That reminds me of a line out of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet when Romeo reacted to Mercutis making light of his brief love for osaline…”He jests at scars that never felt a wound.”

That’s pretty much what the faux Christians do. But, what the hell?  As long as they confess and repent before taking that final gulp of air, they’ll be fine. Let’s hope (A) that all they’ve read is true; as in there really IS a God and (B) If so, let’s hope the malady that carries them to their grave leaves them with the physical capacity to manifest that imperative of confession and repentance at the last second. Otherwise, they’re libel to spend eternity with certain Republican Presidential Primary candidates and, horror of horrors – HOMOSEXUALS.

Oh my…I’m getting the vapors!

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