Republican Party

The War On Religion Taken To Its Most Logical And Absurd Extremes

With polls indicating that as many as 90% of practicing Catholics use birth control, it’s clear that the Republican effort to fight the compromise that allows insurance companies, not Catholic institutions, to pay for birth control coverage is not about fighting for what the people want.

The fight is about being generally disruptive, trying to nail down that tiny portion of the electorate who thinks that Rick Santorum would make a good President, or setting the precedent that we legislate based on the religious beliefs of some.

Let’s assume it’s the latter–that Republicans want to toss out the concept of the separation of church and state and make laws based on personal religious beliefs. That’s what it comes down to. No one is being forced to use contraceptives against his or her choice even if they are made available to all of us, but by allowing restrictions on contraceptive coverage because the Catholic church doesn’t want to provide such coverage, you’re ensuring that some people will be denied a certain type of coverage because of someone’s religious beliefs.

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That’s religious legislation.

If that’s the way we want to run this country, I say do it right: Only cover health-related matters that do not violate the 10 Commandments.

  • If thou has ever disobeyed thou mother or thou father, then thou shall not be covered for any health-related problems caused by not wearing a jacket outside when it’s cold, running with scissors, smoking, or drinking. Thou parents know best, so thou had better respect them or die with no health coverage.
  • If thou puts another god before God, such as money or power, thou shall be exempt from health coverage. Look for the Republican elite to try to get this commandment stricken from the bill.
  • If thou commits adultery, thou shall not be eligible for health coverage. Thee is looking at you, Newt.
  • If thou bears false witness, thou shall be witness to no health care. False witness includes flip-flopping, Mitt.
  • Thou must remember the sabbath, so if thou goes on Sunday morning political programs, thou better go to religious services later in the day. I know that the sabbath is Saturday if you’re Jewish, but let’s face it: We’re legislating for Christians in this country. By the way, since Sunday morning talk shows favor Republican guests to Democratic guests by a two-to-one margin, this is also going to hit the Republican legislators especially hard.

I could go on, but being an anti-religious liberal, I can’t remember any more of the commandments.

I hope I don’t get sick.

(Image from heritage-signs.us)

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