Categories: Featured News

Don’t Be Surprised If You Get Shot This Year

Don’t be surprised if you get shot this year. Daniel von Bargen, best known as George’s boss  on Seinfeld did. Tragically, by his own hand after suffering the untold diabetic agony of a leg amputation and the imminent prospect of losing a few toes off the foot of the remaining leg. At last report, he’s still alive. His 911 call immediately after the shooting is one of the saddest recordings you’ll ever hear.

In January of last year, Democratic Representative, Gabrielle Giffords was gunned down during a constituents meeting in Tucson by a close-in shot to the head. The heroic ‘Gabby’ survived, valiantly willing herself to a degree of normalcy. Her recovery has not been sufficient however, to enable her to return to Congress. A total of 18 others were shot, 6 of which were killed by a gun-wielding kid so loony, he shouldn’t have been allowed a slingshot. And who will ever forget Columbine and Virginia Tech (other than the NRA).

In a matter of the last few weeks, the following incidents graced the pages of my local paper. A homeless man was shot by an attorney’s wife about ten or so miles down the road from my house. Seems the couple had been told by a realtor that, while attempting to show a vacant house the pair owned, she encountered a man inside. Neither the realtor nor the owners called the police. Instead the vigilante pair reached for some heat and sped to their property. Upon entering, sure enough there was the squatter. Hubby got the drop on the apparently unarmed intruder. The alleged ‘trigger’ for the shooting was when the unwelcome occupier approached the owners and supposedly ‘grabbed’ the husband’s arm. I don’t know, if some guy was pointing a gun at me, I might ‘grab’ his arm too. And, given the region, I’m not sure I even believe the account.

Long story short, momma shot the grabber in the face. Lucky for the recipient of this slug, it was not fatal, though any shot in the region of the noggin could well be. The local gentry cheered the shooting. There were a number of Letters to the Editor. Their authors would have done the same thing. Call the police? HA! Not in the ‘take care of business’ south. Did I mention the shootee was black? The local newspaper didn’t say a word about the husband being a lawyer or whether the victim was armed. So you know he wasn’t. The Solicitor cleared the lawyer-vigilante and his like-minded wife in record time. The investigation being little more than “you go girl.”

Another tribute to gun-nuttery was the front page headline on Monday, Februrary 27th ... Man killed at NC flea market. Seems two gun-goobers got into it at their adjoining tool-selling booths at the venerable Sunday morning Hendersonville, North Carolina flea market. One of the vendors shot the other one a reported five times. After the fact, the owner of the flea market said, “…the atmosphere has always been very family-oriented, very safe.”

A week earlier, a South Carolina pastor’s daughter was fatally shot during a church service in Florida. Some churchgoer was showing a Ruger 9mm to a prospective buyer in a church closet when the thing went off, piercing a wall and subsequently, the 20-year-old woman’s skull.

I’m sure you remember the recent tragic story of an 8-year-old Port Orchard, Washington girl accidentally shot in school by a 9-year-old male classmate. She’s on a ventilator. Poppa said, “My kid made a mistake.”

In wrapping up this ode to the almighty bullet, I almost forget the most ironic shooting incident of all. The wife of a Sheriff’s deputy in my county was accidentally shot in the arm and the side by a deputy instructor during a concealed weapons permit class. “Now, class; we have just learned that you should always check for a round in the chamber. Uh, would somebody call 911?” Fortunately she’ll be OK.

In a lot of states, you can be a mini- John Wayne. You can walk down Main St. or anywhere else, at high noon or any other time with that six-shooter proudly displayed in its readily visible holster. You can be the Village People’s Macho Macho Man, (Every man ought to be a macho macho man, to live a life of freedom, machos make a stand.”)

 Yeah, freedom to ‘fire at will’.

No solutions here. These are just a ‘Day in the life of America’ musings. Nothing meaningful or responsible will ever be done by those “protectors of life” elected officials. I’ve stated earlier that a politician who doesn’t earn all A’s in the NRA’s candidate questionnaire, can kiss his or her chances goodbye.

State and national elected officials battle for the most egregiously NRA-friendly legislation possible to guarantee that citizens are duly prepared to thwart the armed hordes of Chinese, Iranians (name any Muslim country), North Koreans, Russians and, what the hell, even the French, that are heading for Dubuque at this very moment.

I know I’ve written of deadly armed gang violence, but unless you can take out 4 or 5 at a time, you’re OK Corral shootout ain’t gonna be pretty. A gun well hidden, under lock from kids with ammo at a separate location is acceptable.  There are a number of state child prevention access laws to that effect. Laws many parents largely ignore. The Castle Doctrine pretty much allows you to gun down the mailman if he looks at you sideways. And while there are hyperbolic statistical claims of homeowners shooting intruders, that’s rarely reflected in the every-other-day accounts of shootings in my local paper.

Hunting, Trap Shooting (there are a lot of great 12 Gauges out there) Skeet and target shooting…go for it.  All are fun.  But there can always be too much of a good thing – or in this case a bad thing.

Reasonable people, know where the guns are, protect the kids, loudly announce when you’re entering the house at night and as you’ve often seen me write in this space – vote Democrat.

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