You Sank My Battleship: Etch-A-Sketch Gaffe Buries Romney’s Momentum

Last updated on February 8th, 2013 at 04:13 pm

Mitt Romney’s campaign wants you to know that you can trust old Mitt. Why, he’s as reliable as an etch-a-sketch! The man has positions as solid as the first drawing on an etch-a-sketch. Here today, gone later today. Just the kind of thing we all look for in a President.

Today on CNN, Romney campaign aide Eric Fehrnstrom explained that the Romney campaign is not worried about how far to the right Romney has been leaning in the primary, since they can just start all over in the general election with a fresh canvas, like an etch-a-sketch!

“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign,” Fehrnstrom said. “Everything changes. It’s almost like an Etch-A-Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and we start all over again.”

Watch here:

Ah yes, kinda like the 80’s when there was no Interwebs. How retro of the Romney campaign.

Crapping all over the Jeb Bush endorsement bounce and in the doing, demonstrating yet again just how poorly managed the Romney campaign is, Fehrnstrom continued, “You have to do that in order to win voters….” Ah, that’s right. You can’t tell the voters what you really think or what you’d really do. I mean, gosh, who would vote for Romney if he did that?

Eric continued with his election play world scenario, “There’s a growing recognition that Mitt Romney is going to be the nominee.” Why? Well, according to Eric, Romney’s great on the economy and Obama is vulnerable.

Ah. The “Inevitable Etch-a-Sketch.” Of course. That’s a real winner. And naturally, the Republicans are quite sure that all Americans will be as easily reset as an Etch-a-Sketch, because they will just tell you what Mitt stands for this fall and you’ll fall for it.

I guess in their minds, there won’t be anyone around to throw Romney’s words back at him. Oopsie. Wrong again, boys. The Democratic National Committee just released this video later today:

At least today we finally understand why Mitt Romney lies so much. He doesn’t think you’re going to remember anything he said the day before. And now we know why he’s the perfect puppet for the Republican Party; he stands for nothing unless it’s politically expedient and advantageous for him to pretend he does, at this moment right now.

Every moment counts with someone like Mitt. After all, you never know what kind of sketch you’re going to get today. Will he be the slayer of Planned Parenthood or the killer of the Dream Act or is today the day that he’s going to double down on his alleged liberal ideas like mandated healthcare reform?

It’s all so Republican chic. The only thing they don’t tell you is just who is manning the Etch-a-Sketch. Behind the shape changer is none other than ALEC.

So while you never know what form Romney will appear in, you can bet that it will benefit the corporate puppet masters at ALEC. Liberal, conservative – who cares? He’s a corporation, and corporations are people too!

Sketch that.

Sarah Jones

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