Jon Stewart Sharpens the Knives and Takes Down Sarah Palin

Jon Stewart didn’t just joke about Sarah Palin on the Today show, he took out the knives and gutted Sarah Palin down to her empty fame craving core.

Here is the video from The Daily Show:

Joe Stewart’s thorough deconstruction of Sarah Palin began with, “It’s Sarah Palin hosting the Today show and she was there performing a medley of her greatest hits from I don’t read newspapers to I write on my hand to that old chestnut I passively aggressively hate Matt Lauer with every ounce of my being.”

Stewart then discussed the fraud behind Sarah Palin’s parasitic relationship with the media that she claims to hate, “So here’s the thing, the former Alaska governor was actually quite good and likable in this setting. My issue was not with how I viewed Governor Palin as co-host of the Today show. It was with how Governor Palin seemed to view it… Ooh, infiltrating the Today show. I think it means you’re cynically exploiting a manufactured notion of yourself as a crusader against a monolithic exclusionary activist liberal media, whilst actually enjoying a mutually beneficial symbiotic relationship with them only to the detriment of the rest of the country.”

The Daily Show host took Palin’s image as a conservative crusader apart, “Seriously, seriously, it’s The Today Show. Do you really believe that co-hosting The Today Show is entering the lion’s den armed only with some Jesus fish earrings and an Iwo Jima sized flag pin? Seriously, look at that f**king flag pin. If a hamster went to the moon that is the flag it would plant. That thing’s gigantic. But Governor Palin acts like she needs to protect herself from the lamestream liberals, like garlic to a vampire, when the truth is you’re at The Today Show. You’re there to talk about party planning with Tori Spelling. To pretend that you remember who Wilson Phillips is, or to hang out with some light hearted couch banter with Matt and Ann and Al instead of acting like you’re setting with Che and Lenin and Saul Alinsky. It’s just another place for you tout your brand of homespun nonsense unchallenged.”

Almost as a public service, Stewart tried to explain to Palin why most of America can’t stand her, “But if you really want to know why some people are kind of infuriated with you, it’s not your common sense conservatism, or your Mama Grizzly tenacity. It’s the casual manner with which you accuse everybody you disagree with of dividing America while you casually and simultaneously do this.”

(Clip of Palin answering a question about Oprah)

Stewart concluded, “In a nutshell the simplicity and prejudice of your worldview is that the patriotism and goodness of something is in direct proportion only to the amount of conservatism in said thing, and that equation so rules your life that you offered that advice spontaneously to the question of how do think Oprah’s doing? I’ve gotta tell ya lady. That must be exhausting to live like that. Although liberals who are patriots, it is pretty funny.”

I guess some people can’t stand Palin because of her inability to see the world through anything but her Fox News tinted glasses, but the contempt for Sarah Palin goes so much deeper than that. A pseudo-political celebrity doesn’t earn a 60% unfavorable rating without there being more to the story. Jon Stewart doesn’t understand that the dislike of Sarah Palin is almost visceral. Stewart’s problem with Palin is that she is partisan and divisive, but there is so much more to dislike.

Never has a person who is so disliked gotten so much for doing so little. Sarah Palin made herself irrelevant by quitting on Alaska, but yet she is still trying to hang on to those last few shreds of fame that she has left. Her only claim to national political celebrity will be completely gone when Mitt Romney chooses his running mate this summer. Sarah Palin knows the fame train is heading for the last stop, but she isn’t ready to get off yet. Sarah Palin is the person who loses at everything, but still thinks she’s a winner.

Sarah Palin agreed to do Today for the same reason that she finally agreed to speak at CPAC for free. She needs the attention, and this is all she can get. In less than four years, Sarah Palin has gone from being her party’s vice presidential nominee to clubbing fish on reality television to rehashing her greatest hits as comedic bits on Today. Sarah PAC’s fundraising has completely cratered, and as of January had made fewer political contributions (1) than $600 steak dinners that it paid for (2).

Now that she is done morning television, Sarah Palin has taken another step closer to fulfilling her washed up D-list celebrity destiny of being a late night TV infomercial star.

Jon Stewart did a great job at exposing the self-serving side of Sarah Palin’s media crusader myth, but he really doesn’t get what makes her tick. Sarah Palin is a fame parasite, who refuses to see that America is thoroughly sick of her. She is the movie that is always on that nobody wants to see. She is the bad date who won’t stop calling.

America wants to break up but she won’t take the hint and leave us alone, which is exactly why we can’t stand Sarah Palin. It might have been fun for a minute in 2008, but it’s over, Sarah. Here’s your stuff back. Now please move on, because we already have.

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