You’ve Got Conservative Mail


Conservatives are taking ideological purity to a whole new level: ideologically segregated email accounts.  Really, I’m not kidding. points out in their latest email:

“As you know companies like Google, Yahoo, Hotmail and many others offer free email. Well, it is time for a Conservative company to offer the same! (Their bold, I swear!)

Now have a Conservative alternative to free email:

“You will be proud to have your name associated with the greatest President Ronald Reagan.”

Now how can a good conservative turn down an opportunity to have their name associated with Ronald Reagan and the added assurance that their email account is provided by a Conservative Company.

Of course, we will not tell them that Ronald Reagan would never pass today’s ideological purity test.  They don’t need to know that deficit spending soared under Reagan.  We won’t tell them about Reagan’s role as Governor of California in developing Medical. If they find out that Reagan was a Union leader, it could be a bit embarrassing for a Conservative to be associated with Ronald Reagan’s name.

My goodness can you imagine the scandal if they find out that Reagan supported the A word for Immigrants?

Then there’s Reagan’s shocking stance in opposition to discrimination based on sexual orientation.  How could anyone who believes you can pray the gay away and if that doesn’t work you can always screw them straight possibly want to be associated with Ronald Reagan’s name.

Imagine the scandal of having your name associated with Ronald Reagan, the man who supported the Brady bill?

Disclosure of any one of these scandalous truths would be enough to send today’s conservatives screaming for a “real” Conservative email service.

At the same time, a segregated email service may very well appeal to today’s Conservatives.  It’s a nice compliment to conservapedia, and ideologically pure search engines.  Then there are the benefits.  A conservative email company can assure their data will only be sold to conservatives.  Maybe will restrict datamining to conservatives as well.  Then there’s that added benefit that won’t release racist emails to the public.  Of course, since we are talking about, the homophobic chain letters might be a different matter.



Image from ABC

13 Replies to “You’ve Got Conservative Mail”

  1. Suckers! These idiots will fall for anything. They need to donate money straight to the too big to fail corporations and build their own world. They already have their own history. Maybe they should start a colony on the moon and let bachmann run it. Reagan will replace Jesus.

  2. Exactly!

    And hey, kids!
    If you sign up now, you’ll get an official “Ronny Ray Gun Psycho-Babble Decoder Ring”!
    Wow and gee willakers, gang…how neato-torpedo is that?!!

    Gosh, just imagine, guys (uh, you girls cain’t play)…you can spend all your lazy liberal leisure time deciphering their coded messages to one another all day long! You’ll learn to palaver with the Patriots, interpret conjured contraceptive conspiracies, decode secret ancient real American christian text signed by the christian founding fathers…

    And, if you sign up right now, you’ll receive a free language course by Ted Nugent on how to speak Hunting Hickineese for those family getaways into the backwoods; you’ll wander freely among the Nativist and Sedition encampments with the confidence like a FBI informant at a Klan rally!

    Com’moan, “Con Heart! Won’tha’ut be fuuun??!!
    I kin harrrdly wyait! Weee-douggies!

  3. Someone hasn’t done their homework if they believe Reagan is the greatest President. They’ve apparently ignored his spending, and the fact his administration increased the largest National Debt the highest of all Presidents. The conservatives have created a myth around Reagan believing he cut taxes, but they ignore the fact once the National debt started to rapidly rise, he raised taxes and ask 18 times for the National debt to be raised 189%.

  4. I will never figure out why the GOP loves Reagan. He did everything they claim Obama is doing. Reagan began the downfall of this country in unemployment due to his awarding the 1% bonus’s for sending work over seas. He maxed the debt and raised taxes on the middle class by taking away deductions and dropped the taxes on the rich

    Reagan was not a good president under any circumstances. The money he spent on the military wa sa waste becuase the next two presidents had to drop the size of the troops and equipment

  5. Reagan was exactly a mean, dumb, vain, superficially charming ventriloquist’s dummy for the Friedmanists-exactly what Grover Norquist thinks a President should be. I could never watch Reagan speaking without picturing his mouth as an asshole brainlessly shitting evil into the world.

  6. …and just soos’ we all “know”, always include something in your right wing post with the words, “pull my flag”…

    (psst, it’s librul code for “pull my finger”)

  7. And let’s not forget the Alzheimer’s. Ventriloquist’s dummy, indeed.

    Shocking, really, that all that is just swept under the rug.

  8. This kind of reminds me of something from the 90s. “Good Christians” were talking about how “Librul” the online services were and how they needed to form their own. Back then, I still was brainwashed but already had reached the point of being past tired of being preached at and decided I’d never get involved in anything like that.

    I also remember some attempt to “take over the services for Christ”… it was connected with a move by “Good Christians” to “take over the airwaves” -Amateur Radio and other frequencies- “for Christ”. I remember a period of time where it seemed you’d encounter “witnessing” (proselytizing) and “praying-witnessing” (ersatz prayer meant to proselytize) everywhere you turned. It wasn’t pleasant.

    It didn’t last long… maybe a couple of months before things returned to some semblance of normal. I think that it pissed off so many people that they actually realized how bad an idea it really was.

    (They still try, by the way. It’s not too unusual to have someone try to steer the conversation to religion and then start preaching. They believe that everything belongs to Jesus and should be “taken back”.)

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