Conservatism Looks More Like an Online MMORPG Every Day

Just recently we watched with horror and then glee as the Heartland Institute accused environmentalists of being terrorists like the Unabomber and promptly lost nineteen major donors and a million dollars in funding. Sure, it didn’t ruin them all at once but nearly so: in order to hold their annual rejection of reality conference in Chicago the group had to openly sell out to big coal and oil, as the Guardian reports: “The main Illinois coal lobby is a last-minute sponsor of this week’s conference, undermining Heartland’s claims to operate independently of fossil fuel interests.” And it was worse than that:

Its entire Washington DC office, barring one staffer, decamped, taking Heartland’s biggest project, involving the insurance industry, with them.

Board directors quit, conference speakers cancelled at short-notice, and associates of long standing demanded Heartland remove their names from its website. The list of conference sponsors shrank by nearly half from 2010, and many of those listed sponsors are just websites operating on the rightwing fringe.

Ouch. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving group. Honestly, it’s a wonder this isn’t happening to every conservative think-tank and lobbyist group that has showed its true colors. Still, it’s nice to know that liberals and progressives can make their displeasure felt just as it is nice to see outfits like JC Penny double-down on their support of equal rights by using a gay couple for a Father’s Day ad (you can imagine what less-than-OneMillionMoms thinks about that!).

It makes you realize there really is hope for sanity in this insane world – and I do mean insane – I mean are we really to believe that Obama wants people to move closer to the cities so he can keep an eye on them? Really? That’s as good as it gets at FOX News, folks. If it’s not illegal immigrants with explosives stuffed up their asses crossing our borders it’s gotta be something like this…you know it as well as I do.

Don’t we have some real problems to talk about without inventing new ones? Life shouldn’t be like a non-stop Monty Python skit. That stuff is funny but you don’t want to live it.

Brian Fischer is another guy who refuses to come down to earth and join the rest of us in the world of reality. His response to the news that courts have ruled DOMA to be unconstitutional was to post a column on Friday, as Right Wing Watch puts it, “arguing for a new campaign to ‘reclaim the ‘D’ word’—discrimination—and saying that government should discriminate against gays and lesbians to stop them from ‘destroying themselves through non-normative sexual behavior.’”

So if it’s unconstitutional, we should do it more than ever? Fischer’s thinking is, as it is the best of times, a bit tepid:

We discriminate against adults, even priests, who have sex with children. We discriminate against teachers who have affairs with students. We discriminate against teachers who moonlight in the porn industry. We discriminate against students who engage in sexting. We discriminate against rapists. We discriminate against those who expose sexual partners unknowingly to the AIDS virus. We discriminate against those adults who commit statutory rape against minors. We discriminate against homosexuals and prostitutes by refusing to allow them to give blood.

The point is this: we discriminate against sexually immoral and inappropriate behavior all the time, and homosexual behavior is sexually immoral and inappropriate.

As the president of the American Family Association, Tim Wildmon, has often said, homosexual behavior is “immoral, unnatural and unhealthy.” It is contrary to “the Laws of Nature and Nature’s God,” as the Founders would have put it. It puts the human body to sexual uses which are utterly contrary to the way in which the human body is designed. And it is accompanied by a raft of pathologies, including HIV/AIDS and a host of other debilitating sexually transmitted diseases. It shortens the lifespan of those who engage in it by as much as 30 years.

Obviously, since thousands of species of animals exhibit gay behavior, being gay is not a violation of the laws of nature unless you want to believe in gay demons, whose existence cannot be proven; and as for the rest of Fischer’s tirade it has (besides sounding like a replay of Nazi accusations against “filthy” Jews) been disproven time and again by actual medical scientists and physicians.

Fischer’s response to the current state of global warming denialism is nearly identical: environmentalism is a religion and environmentalists are apparently cultists who worship recycling bins. “How exactly is environmentalism a religion?” asked Right Wing Watch. Thursday on his radio program Fischer had Cal Beisner explain all this to his gullible listeners:

Well, as Beisner explained, it has its own doctrines, its own holy day (Earth Day,) its own food taboos, sacrifice rituals (recycling,) paradoxical beliefs, sacred structures (recycling bins,) and it proselytizes.  And, as Fischer added, just like with the early church, heretics (i.e. global warming deniers like Fischer and Beisner) are punished and excommunicated.

Listen via Right Wing Watch:

Now look, I admit I’m hopelessly addicted to reality. I love speculative fiction but I like it most of all because it IS fiction. It’s a nice temporary escape from real-world lunacy. But you can’t start believing this crap is real, that we live in some sort of world where Obama is gathering us all together in cities so he can spy on us while we’re forced to worship in front of recycling bins while being simultaneously sodomized and trained to be terrorists by environmentalists wearing gay t-shirts from Target (yeah, Peter LaBarbera is pretty incensed about that, you betcha, and so is Janet Porter).

It makes you wonder if these people have any real problems other than mental. Makes wonder too if they masturbate while thinking about this stuff. I know, it’s early in the morning and you probably want to have breakfast and don’t want these images in your mind any more than I do, but you do have to wonder. I mean, what other group of people put this much thought into bestiality, for example? I can go literally months without giving it a thought, probably years if I didn’t keep getting reminded by people obsessed by it.

So as you go into the weekend, renew your ties to reality: Touch things (but not yourself!), look at things (but not sheep!), breathe the free but polluted air and drink the fracking fracked-up water and as you sacrifice at your recycling altar watch the lemmings flock to their mega churches to renew their ties to their fantasy world – a world that looks more and more like an Online MMORPG – massively multiplayer online role playing game – (I mean, you can put gays in death camps, or slay gay demons, right? Or indulge sick fantasies of the government doing it for you)  and less like the earth the rest of us live on every day.

It’s all good: I just wish we could get them to understand that we don’t want to play “Indulge Your Sick Inner Fantasy” with them.

20 Replies to “Conservatism Looks More Like an Online MMORPG Every Day”

  1. That apparently skipped out on me as I edited! massively multiplayer online role playing game

  2. i just reread the article to figure that out.. somebody post the secret code, my tinfoil is overheating

    will the real MMORPG please stand up!!

  3. Apologies! Even thinking about this stuff kills my brain cells but no way to not abbreviate MMORPG in the title. Added explanation in article where MMORPG appears. The best I could do was redundantly use “online” before MMORPG and hope that was enough.

  4. The real problem with Fischer’s argument is that he is comparing sex between consenting adults and criminal sexual assault on individuals (minors and women) who do NOT consent or cannot consent. The latter we condemn not because of the “deviant” sexual nature of the act but because of its violence and criminal nature. As a subcateogry we can add those in positions of influence over children who compromise that by engaging in sex work (although I’m less convinced that “everyone” condemns that).

    Somebody needs to point this out to Fischer, not that he would understand it.

  5. I was good, even amused until…”It’s all good: I just wish we could get them to understand that we don’t want to play “Indulge Your Sick Inner Fantasy” with them…”

    Then, the coffee curdled and I got all sensitive on myself (oh, now don’t go there…).

    This “predilection” of theirs is not a pretty site to conceive, that it’s “all good” but…I supposed I can “swallow” that the “Good Christians” reality as opposed to the “Real Christians” is real. I suppose it’s something, as a woman, I should get used to, sort of like a warm and fuzzy freaky thing…

    To each his own wouldn’t be so bad if they would stop inflicting their “gag balls of the other” on every one so they can’t speak…oh yes, they want us all to be “submissive” and shut up about what their “into”, or else they’re coming to the cities to shoot “snuff-outs”…that’s the part that makes me sort of “sensitive” to their ideas.

    Makes me wonder why some savvy investigators haven’t looked into how organizations like “Fisher the Phishers” invest/raise its money–porn is a booming industry with all kinds of “talent” to be exploited, so it seems to me, it’s the perfect place for the “Good Christian” (as opposed to the “Real”) to invest…sort of like in the 50’s when the Baptist invested money in Ed Wood’s movies. It wouldn’t me the first time…

  6. And yes, I play multiple MMORPG’s (EVE Online, SW:TOR [on a Role Playing specific server], WOT, STO, PWI).

    But I play them to temporarily escape from THIS reality for an hour or two each day so I can wind down and relax from stuff like the article describes.

    My daily routine usually consists of me reading stuff like the above, getting incredibly frustrated at peoples idiocy, and then going into one or another of the MMO’s I play and mindlessly killing non player characters until my blood pressure has reduced to a reasonable level.

    On bad days I log into EVE (Player -vs- player MMO) and take out my frustrations on other players who are trying to of my internet space pixels almost as hard as I am trying to off theirs.

    You see… an MMO is a great temporary escape from reality… especially when our reality has people like Fischer in it.

  7. correction…”Wouldn’t BE the first time”.

    The abbreviation MMORPG was the last thing on my horizon as I glazed over with the horror, or reality, of not only becoming a slave in the “biblical” sense, but a sexual one…well,now wait a minute…let’s think this thing through (I says to myself).

    Perhaps becoming a Christian Porno Star (!) might be a great way to earn income in this newly created apocalyptic fantasy world…now what would be a good stage name? Ummm…more coffee…

  8. Fischer must live in an alternate universe, demanding that the space we occupy be as polluted as possible. I wonder if the nice little mansion he lives was next to a polluted dump how happy he would be.

    Sorry, we still live under laws not religion. And the founding fathers did not use the same god you do. And natures gods are vastly different than the hate filled god you want

  9. When you look at the worldview Fischer is coming from, his comments, as wrong as they are, make sense to him. I seriously doubt he realizes that his views are based on propaganda the dominionist and fundamentalist churches have been spewing for decades.

    According to the Assemblies of God, back when I was a cult member decades ago, LGBT people are all purely hedonistic and only are looking for new ways to “satisfy their ungodly urges”. They have a stereotype of a gay man, for instance, that he doesn’t care what he “sticks it in”, as long as it gets stuck in. They think AND teach that anyone not Christian is focused on, and driven by sex.

    As we all know, all of that is pure bullshit. LGBT people are just that… people, just like the “Good Christians”.

    They also probably don’t know that they’re likely to be projecting their own repressed sexuality on others.

    They’re also clearly projecting their own desires for control on everyone else. I don’t think a “live and let live” attitude would even begin to register with them. They don’t like seeing that others aren’t like them (unlike most of us – a generalization based on observation – who find delight in the differences).

    I was quite amused by their description of “environmentalism”. More projection? While I remember time and time again dominionists prattling about “common sense”… their “common sense” included things like self-denial to give to the megachurches. The fact is, it makes common sense to recycle and try to save the environment. When you think on the waste, and then multiply that by the number of people in this country… it makes perfect sense. They’re too self-centered to realize that they need to think about the rest of the world, however.

  10. It sounds like you got up and started typing without some “Go-Juice” (coffee) to get your brain firing on all cylinders!

    (Been there, done that!)

  11. Completely agree, tinwoman. Legal vs. criminal – NOT comparable.

    Fischer is a smart enough con man to understand what he is doing. He knows his flock perfectly well and he fleeces them at will.

  12. I don’t like the way Hrafnkell Haraldsson writes.
    Most journalists have the sense to reveal what their custom initials mean at the beginning of the article. Hrafnkell didn’t reveal to us what MMORPG meant until near the end of the article.
    If I was Haraldsson’s editor/boss, I would fire him. Wake up, Hrafnkell. Good journey.

  13. You’ve had your 10 seconds of editorial fame to complain about something explained and stick your tongue out with out having anything to really offer to the conversation except a phoney, disingenuous kiss off…plus, a few weasel words to make the complaint appear plausibly polite, as in, “Most(journalist)…have a sense…If I were…”

    It’s a free country Danny-boy, so don’t read his articles. Good riddance and have a nice day! Bu-bye now…don’t let the door hit’ya’ where the good lord missed’ya’

  14. And if I were dictator, Mr. Lewis, I’d put you in the stocks for stupidity, irrelevance, and unsolicited rudeness. Now, eat your alphabet soup.

  15. Was the problem resolved by the time you read the thread? If so, your comments are unneeded and just a specious attack.

    You’d be the second person commenting on writing and trying to be an editor that has been on PoliticusUSA in the last couple of weeks. Let me give you a little suggestion – editors usually let the writer know privately when something needs to be changed. If I wanted, I could pick apart may things on the blogs that I read, but the fact is you must consider the venue. My mentor and friend is and has been an editor for peer-reviewed scientific journals, and he’s been teaching me a little, so I do know a bit about what I’m talking about.

    Also remember… none of us is perfect. Even the best writers have goofs – that’s why we have editors and usually get colleagues to help proofread our work.

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