Featured News

Desperately Seeking Stephen

Last updated on February 9th, 2013 at 05:19 am

Read: Samuel Alito Is The Insurrectionist Threat To Democracy On The Supreme Court

It seems like the Romney campaign has a new conspiracy theory every minute.  Liberals named the villain in a Batman movie after Bain Capital, so that movie goes would hate Bain Capital. Global warming doesn’t exist because it isn’t in the bible. According to right wing legend, Global Warming is a vast left wing conspiracy to take away their freedom to destroy the planet.

Do you see a pattern emerging?  The pattern continues when it comes to the war on women.  According to GOP legend, the consistent effort to deny women their reproductive rights, access to cancer screenings and birth control are about protecting women from themselves.  That’s why it is ever so necessary for women to get consent from husbands and/or employers.  Silly women, thinking is for good, conservative men.

As Lipstick Liberal reports, conservatives are willing to take anyone prisoner in this war – including Stephen Colbert. She’s ready to take them on.  I think we should help! 

Transcript

LIPSTICK LIBERAL CREEPS UP INTO SHOT – SHE IS A SOLDIER IN THE FIRE FIGHT

OF HER LIFE!

America, I am reporting to you today from the latest battleground

in the Republican War on Woman, where I Believe the GOP is about to announce the

release of a prisoner of that war; American hero Stephen Colbert!

I was the ONLY one to expose this war atrocity, thanks to Stephen’s secret coded

messages to Lipstick Liberal during his show! Oh, I thought I was crazy too, until…

(STEPHEN COLBERT SAYS “MESSAGE RECEIVED”)

Since then, I have been forced to march all over the map, watching Republicans

pillage…you know, I think these guys love their rocket launchers, a little too much,

just saying.

Last month, I almost rescued him from this ungodly place! But was kicked out for

saying “a bad word”, well, mother f***er!

Hello? Yes, Governor, I can barely hear you, is Stephen okay, is Stephen okay! What?

You want to declare victory over the BIGGEST PROBLEM AFFECTING your State

and the country?

I’m losing, Governor – a victory over what? Victory over Unemployment?

Healthcare? Poverty? Fried food?

Abortion, really? Okay fine, but MOST IMPORTANTLY, how is my Stephen Colbert?

Hello, hello? (SILENCE)

Okay, GOP! You wanna play, let’s play! Keep taking away my money, my health, my

dignity! Because YOU will never, never, never take away my Stephen Colbert!

Because She said it FIRST But I say it better, “Republican Balls are weak and

sensitive”,” If you wanna get tough, grow a LIBERAL Vagina,

SHOT GUN CLICK

those things can take a lot a pounding!

Until next time Lipstick Liberal says

(blows kiss) mmmmuuuuuuaaaa!!!!) I’m comin for ya Boehner

End of Transcript

Ok, this is a fictional account, but given the GOP’s desperation these days, Stephen Colbert may want to get a bodyguard.

Recent Posts

Trump Gets Booed And Bombs At The Libertarian Convention

Trump's speech at the Libertarian Convention featured him getting booed by the audience and was…

11 hours ago

Trump Makes Secret Service Confiscate Rubber Chickens At Libertarian Convention

Trump had the Secret Service confiscate rubber chickens that were handed out by the RFK…

13 hours ago

Jack Smith Moves On Trump’s False FBI Assassination Plot Claims

Special Counsel Jack Smith is requesting that Trump be prohibited from making comments about law…

20 hours ago

Trump Could Get Hammered At Sentencing For Gag Order Violations

Legal experts are suggesting that Trump could face a harsher sentence if he is convicted…

21 hours ago

Hakeem Jeffries Tells The American People To Keep The Heat On Alito And Thomas

House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) said it is up to the American people and…

2 days ago

Trump’s Economic Plan Would Raise Taxes On The Poor And Middle Class

A new study found that Donald Trump's economic plan would raise taxes on poor and…

2 days ago