Republican Party

The Right Claims Liberals Have a Dull-Witted, Self-Defeating, Abjectly Wicked Worldview

Last updated on February 8th, 2013 at 12:52 am

Liberty Counsel’s Matt Barber, in a recent opinion piece on World Net Daily, wrote that liberals have a “dull-witted, self-defeating, abjectly wicked worldview,” and that they they’ll “let neither reality nor the U.S. Constitution stop them.”

This is an interesting perspective, since Gallup polls show that most Americans support the liberal agenda, backing both marriage equality (53 to 46 percent) and Roe v. Wade (53 to 29 percent says Gallup, and 70 to 24 percent according to an NBC News/Wall Street Journal Survey).

It sounds as though if anybody has a problem with reality, it is Matt Barber, who says of that landmark ruling that, “there is probably a really good chance that whoever it was that was going to find the cure for AIDS … that that person has already been slaughtered in the womb.”

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Barber is on the side that denies to people what people largely support. He calls that “religious liberty.” You can see how that works in the recent claim by the Family Research Council that gays and lesbians don’t need any more rights because they have enough already.

It should be pointed out at the outset that Liberty Counsel once said that, “Page 992 of the health care bill will “establish school-based ‘health’ clinics. Your children will be indoctrinated and your grandchildren may be aborted!” – a claim that got them  well-earned “Pants on Fire” from

To put these claims in perspective, understand that Liberty Counsel is one of those places that generates the spin that makes conservatives feel good about being a Republican, and Matt Barber is vice president of Liberty Counsel Action, which, hilariously, claims to be expanding religious liberties, the Religious Right’s definition of imposing their religion over all others.

According to Barber, liberals are “happy, peaceful, free-loving uber-pacifist morons” and ultimately, you can only pray for them. Well, and defeat them in the name of “the Sovereign Creator of the universe who is the same yesterday today and forevermore: Christ, God incarnate, who is always faithful to those who have faith in him.”

Yes. In other words, holy war: a crusade. It’s your moral duty to crush the evil of liberalism root and branch.

Christian fanatics throughout history have loved crusades. Holy war is the ultimate expression of God’s love for humanity, unleashing the Matt Barber’s of the world on all those icky people who insist on being different from God’s Chosen People.

Crusading is pretty popular even today. Rick Santorum is a modern-day defender of the crusade, once telling us moronic liberals not to hate on the crusades. And our military is into the whole crusading scene as well. The Air Force is close to achieving the status of a monastic fighting order on a par with the Teutonic Knights. If the Navy is a “Global Force for Good,” the Air Force is a “Global Force for God” (There is a vast gulf of difference between “good” and the God conservatives are pushing).

This, to people like Matt Barber, is really living. It doesn’t get any better than imposing narrow-minded religious bigotry on others.

And he calls us moronic.

Interestingly, he adopts the same language we use of him and his ilk to describe us, as a group singularly immune to the strictures of reality: Liberal logic, he claims, is “Up is down, down is up, and we’ll make it so and we won’t give up!”

I don’t know. Sounds a lot like the conservative Christian response to reality and to the modern world of science and technology in particular. Literally, this was a mantra of the Popes as they resisted the encroaching heliocentric universe. Today, the same “logic” is used to rail against anthropogenic global warming.

Barber says that Obama is King Arnulf from Monty Python’s Eric the Viking, exclaiming, as his island sinks, “Everyone, stay calm. This is not happening.”

Nobody loves a straw-man argument more than a Republican, and a Religious-Right Republican at that, so Barber crafts some imaginary land where liberals think everything is just hunky dory and then dismisses us as clueless buffoons.

The problem is, we don’t think everything is hunky dory. Far from it. Nor does Obama think everything is hunky dory.

Barber has spent the past four years diligently and willfully ignoring reality so that he could craft this pabulum for the extremist masses. It was well-received, no doubt, because it was exactly what they wanted to hear.

But it lacks even a passing familiarity with reality.

Barber blames liberals for “skyrocketing debt and deficits” but the facts tell us that whatever Republican rhetoric demands, it is the Republicans who are the tax-and-spend types, driving not only spending and tax increases, but government growth. The facts tell us that Obama has actually reduced the deficit during his first four years in office.

For Barber, everyone who shoots up a mall or a school is a “death-culture byproduct” though the facts of these shooting incidents reveal nothing of the sort. It’s funny how liberals get blamed for gun violence when liberals are the ones trying to place restrictions on gun ownership, and in fact, Barber manages to both castigate liberals for “unconstitutionally grabbing guns from law-abiding citizens” while at the same time blaming them for murdering innocent people with guns.

Logic, as has been observed before, is not a conservative strong-suit, and it has never been a friend of biblical literalists like Barber.

Still, we, Obama’s “patchouli-wearing, pervert-pride-prancing, ‘pay-for-my-abortion’ shrieking friends are anything if not determined,” Barber warns, and progressive dogma is “a mind-altering (and sinister) hallucinogen that gives liberals the munchies for power.”

Barber says he can’t stop laughing. Ultimately, his prose his similarly affected me. I wondered, as I read this masturbatory fantasy of his, what he had been ingesting as he wrote it.

Bombast, if not logic, is a conservative Christian strong suit, and Matt Barber’s buddy, Matt Staver, who founded Liberty Counsel and is its current Chairman of the Board, has just accused President Obama of blasphemy, a charge which, apparently, makes Obama subject to impeachment.

Staver, at least as narrow-minded as Barber, and just as prone to ignoring facts, claims that Obama is “the most immoral president that we’ve ever had in history, pushing an immorality that is stunning.”

I invite Staver to point to where in the Constitution blasphemy is an impeachable offense, or even an offense at all. Oh wait, Staver’s God isn’t in the Constitution. Nor is the Bible. Nor are the Ten Commandments.

Because, apparently, giving gays and lesbians the same rights Staver possesses is worse than Evangelical President Bush’s Crusade in Iraq: murdering thousands of Iraqis and stealing their property, all in the name of Staver and Barber’s God.

Barber concludes that the progressive agenda is this:

“In sum, you spend your way out of debt, tax your way to higher unemployment, fornicate your way disease-free, abort your way to non-violence and unilaterally disarm your way to national security.”

Yeah. He made all that shit up in the “create a crazy liberal agenda” factory in his basement. No one in the Obama administration is suggesting spending our way out of debt or taxing our way to unemployment, or unilaterally disarming.

I guess compared to the conservative dream of perpetual holy war against God’s enemies, peace is disarmament.

And these clowns say liberals say up is down. They call us morons.

I wouldn’t mind if Barber and Staver actually participated in our shared reality before they gave America a cum-shot across the face, but they prefer to just “make shit up” as the saying goes. But look, nobody wants to have sex with them anymore; all they have left are masturbation fantasies.

Conservative Christians like Barber and Staver realize straw-men are a lot easier to slap down than real men, but then their nut-sacks are as imaginary as their facts.

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