Rand Paul Proves That a Meth Addicted Monkey Is Smarter than He Is At CPAC

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Rand Paul mocked wasteful federal spending on meth addicted monkeys, but a meth addicted monkey could have given a more lucid and truthful speech at CPAC.

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Rand Paul’s speech had everything that a good dose of conservative crazy should. Sen. Paul once again falsely claimed that Obama is going to drone attack American citizens. Sen. Paul advocated for more tax cuts for the wealthy using the coded language of, “keeping more money in the pockets of those who earned it.” He out Ryaned Paul Ryan by claiming that he could balance the budget in five years

He also gave Obama ownership of George W. Bush’s indefinite detention policy, and the Republican sequester. Sen. Paul also went on a bizarre rant about meth addicted monkeys, rattlesnakes, and squirrels. However, the topper of it all was Paul’s claim that he can balance the federal budget in five years.

Paul said, “This month I will propose a five year balanced budget. My budget eliminates the Department of Education, and devolves power and money back to the states where they belong. My five year budget will create millions of jobs by cutting the corporate tax rate in half, by creating a flat personal income tax of seventeen percent, and cutting the regulations that are strangling American business. The only stimulus ever proven to work is leaving more money in the hands who earn it.”

The only way that a budget like Paul’s would balance is if he eliminated Medicare, Medicaid, privatized Social Security, and gutted the military budget for starters. A flat tax is a terrible idea that will pass the tax burden on to the middle class, lower income earners, seniors, and the poor. Tax cuts do not create jobs. Rand Paul’s “budget” is nothing more than the first document of his 2016 presidential campaign.

If 2012 was the Republican primary campaign of extremism, 2016 is already shaping up to be even further to the right. Sen. Paul’s speech was full of the lies, myths, and half baked truths that Republican primary voters and activists adore.

If the Republican 2016 primary comes down to Sen. Rand Paul or a meth addicted monkey, the GOP would be better off with the monkey.

At least the monkey can go to rehab.

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