Bryan Fischer has a good time publicly masturbating. Seriously. It’s hard to consider what he does to be anything else because nobody can be as stupid as he seems to be. But they can be as bigoted. My biggest question as an observer, however, is this: “how hard does he have to work to think up all the kooky things he says?”
Take his latest spew: that liberals and Muslims hate America and Christians. This is pure ass-hattery. I can’t speak for Muslims but I am a liberal and a Heathen and I hate neither America nor Christians. My family are all Christians. My family (and myself) are all Americans.
What liberals and Muslims likely do hate (and with good reason) are ass-hats like Bryan Fischer, who do nothing but sit on their toilets…er, um…pulpits…and spew hatred and intolerance at everybody who disagrees with him.
Here’s what the AFA’s Director of Issues Analysis had to say the other day on his radio program, courtesy of Right Wing Watch:
“Secular fundamentalists hate this country as founded, They hate it. They’re trying to dismantle it. President Obama hates this country as founded. That’s why he’s trying to transform it and make it into some kind of socialist, Marxist utopia. Because he doesn’t like America, as it was founded. And Muslims don’t either. They hate America. They hate America as founded. They have the same dislike, and distaste, the same enmity toward America is it was founded that secular progressives do. And so that’s the bond that they share”
What’s hilarious about this “analysis” is that it is Bryan Fischer and his friends who hate America as it was founded, that is, as a secular government of a predominantly Christian populace.
And the 18th century Christian populace are the very folks who agreed to have a secular government. Largely to protect themselves from ass-hats like Bryan Fischer. Talk about prescient.
The people who are trying to dismantle that America are people like Bryan Fischer, who want instead to impose the theocracy the Founding Fathers rejected. The America Bryan Fischer claims to love does not exist, has never existed, and -if we continue to say no to people like Fischer – will never exist.
All Fischer need do is ask himself these questions:
- Where in the Constitution is the God of Abraham mentioned?
- Where in the Constitution is Christianity mentioned?
- Where in the Constitution is the Bible mentioned?
- Where in the Constitution is Jesus mentioned?
- Where in the Constitution are the Ten Commandments mentioned?
Perhaps Fischer has a “special” copy of the Constitution no one else has seen. More likely, he is simply dishonest because he has to know as well as the rest of us that the only thing the Constitution has to say about religion is that it forbids the very thing Fischer is pushing:
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”
So much for his plan to have the federal government ban Islam. The simple fact is that unlike Bryan Fischer, the Founding Fathers had no dream of a right wing theocracy. Rather, they lived in fear of it.
As for a Marxist utopia, that is, as far as the historical verdict is concerned as much an oxymoron as a utopian theocracy. We haven’t seen either make an appearance in the historical record. Not in all the thousands of years of recorded history.
And Muslims hating America? There are plenty of Muslims living in America who love America. I hate met some of them. They want the same thing I want: to be free to exercise their beliefs without interference from bigoted asshats like Bryan Fischer.
Fischer needs to put down his David Barton books and pick up an actual history book. I realize that is a great deal to ask of a conservative, but facts are the only cure for what ails Fischer. But he will probably need to be sedated and subject to a Fact Enema, because I don’t think he’ll intentionally absorb a fact. Facts are to conservatism as holy water is to vampires. Facts kill conservative ideas dead.
Sadly, they are not a remedy for ass-hattery.
Hrafnkell Haraldsson, a social liberal with leanings toward centrist politics has degrees in history and philosophy. His interests include, besides history and philosophy, human rights issues, freedom of choice, religion, and the precarious dichotomy of freedom of speech and intolerance. He brings a slightly different perspective to his writing, being that he is neither a follower of an Abrahamic faith nor an atheist but a polytheist, a modern-day Heathen who follows the customs and traditions of his Norse ancestors. He maintains his own blog, A Heathen’s Day, which deals with Heathen and Pagan matters, and Mos Maiorum Foundation www.mosmaiorum.org, dedicated to ethnic religion. He has also contributed to NewsJunkiePost, GodsOwnParty and Pagan+Politics.