Fundamentalists Drool at Thought of Miley Cyrus Having Sex with Demons

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Miley Cyrus had sex with a demon and sold her soul to Satan. So says Rick Wiles, who earlier this year said Barack Obama is a “devil from hell,” and “emulating the antichrist.”

This goes to show, I suppose, the wages of twerking, at least in the salacious imaginings of sexually repressed Christian extremists.

Before we go any further, I should mention here at the outset that Christianity has a 2,000 year history of blaming everything it doesn’t like on Satan and on demons, even though the word daimon as evil spirit appears in the New Testament just once (Matthew 8:31) and Satan as an actual character appears in the Old Testament just once, in Job.

But then look at all the mileage they get out of a couple of biblical mentions of homosexuality. You’d think Christianity was about condemnation of homosexuality and nothing else.

Anyway, the accusations about Obama and Occupy movement supporter Miley Cyrus come as a result of Rick Wiles not liking the photo Cyrus tweeted of herself cavorting with a skeleton.

You know, because walking skeletons are real and work for Satan. Everyone knows that, right? And they come out only on October 31 of every year and ask for candy. Because Satan loves him some candy.

But c’mon Rick, you’re not fooling anybody. it isn’t just skeletons, is it? No. Wiles appeared with Joe Schimmel on Schimmel’s TruNews radio show to show how offended he is by displays of female sexuality.

Rather than simply critiquing Cyrus’ choreography they chose to go the demon route instead, because, you know, she just has to be possessed by a demon or she wouldn’t even notice she has a vagina.

Disturbing as conservative Christian reactions to the female body are, Wiles sounded more than a little anti-Semitic when he claimed that Cyrus is the “poster child” of the “Synagogue of Satan.”

Why not Church of Satan, Rick? The devil is your hang-up, not ours.

As I said, Satan only really appears once in the Jewish Bible? In Job, as an angel tormenting Job on behalf of God. Jews aren’t obsessed with Satan. They weren’t then and they aren’t now. In fact, Jews don’t believe in the Devil any more than do Pagans, who are also often associated with Satan. So what’s with the synagogue?

I think Rick Wiles let on more than he intended.

But that wasn’t all. Wiles had an obligatory condemnation of the entertainment industry all prepared:

The American entertainment industry loves perverting the souls of innocent children, (and) they thrive on their wicked methods of defiling children and converting them into little citizens of Babylon. It is the work of the synagogue of Satan. Their latest poster child to recruit little Babylonians is Miley Cyrus.

They no doubt got all hot and bothered because their reaction would not be so fierce otherwise. They’re obviously angry at Miley for getting them worked up sexually. Continued Wiles in between what can only have been breathless strokes:

Any wonder whom she serves as her soul’s master? Sadly, I think Miley is merely the latest young, talented person to make the deal with Lucifer. I am thoroughly convinced that many pop culture music and movie stars sold their souls to Satan in return for fame and money.

Schimmel opined that Cyrus had been “baptized into the Illuminati.”

Oooooooh. He did not just go there!

She definitely full-blown immersed into the occultic world,” said Schimmel. In fact, her dance moves at the VMA were coded Satanic messages. Who knew twerking was like Satan Morse code?

She’s sticking her tongue out, which is the protruding tongue and all; a lot of people thought, ‘Hey, that’s simply sexual, sexually perverted.’ But yeah, you know what? It’s demonic.

Determined to cover all his bases, Schimmel then compared Cyrus to the Hindu goddess Kali: “I believe she seems to be, you know, invoking Kali, because it’s kind of crazy when you think about it, and that’s what happens in the occult.”

Because Hinduism is such a big part of the Western occult tradition.

“She’s basically, you know, she’s basically, at least symbolically, showing how to have sex with some satanic figure,” Schimmel said.

Wow, I’m thinking he doesn’t like Robin Thicke!

I’m also thinking Schimmel knows just a wee bit too much about sex with demons, aren’t you? I think an exorcism is in order.

You might laugh, but you would be wrong to do so. Quite a few (over half) Americans believe in demons, and not just cranky old fogies in the tea party or those following the demons in human forum who serve as pastors in megachurches across the country.

Turns out just because you’re a “none” doesn’t mean you don’t believe in demons. Public Policy Polling revealed last Halloween that 57 percent of Americans think people can be possessed by demons. That includes a shocking 49 percent of Democrats. The number rises to 68 percent among Republicans.

Just remember the words of Duck Dynasty’s Si Robertson, who says “It ain’t gun control we need, it’s sin control.”

And you know who will have those controls. People like Rick Wiles and Joe Schimmel. This would be the time to mention that during the days of witch hunts, salacious-minded Christian extremists loved nothing more than stripping a woman naked and exploring her body for signs of the devil.

Just sayin’.

Time to start watching your neighbor, not just Miley Cyrus. Mine had a bonfire on his driveway on Halloween night. Who knows what devilry he was involved in, who he sold his soul to, and who or what he bedded when the trick-or-treaters had all gone home.

Filthy conservative Christian minds want to know. After all, that’s why the Founding Fathers wrote the U.S. Constitution…

Oh snap!