The Folks Who Gave us Rand Paul Think Chris Christie Won’t Hold Up to Scrutiny

The party that has offered us every kook who walks in off the street would really like to wish away New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.

The party that gave us Sharron “Rape Lemonade” Angle and Christine “I might be a Witch but I Don’t Know where my Vagina is” O’Donnell, and Sarah “I can see Russia from here” Palin, and Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin, and Michele “Urban Legend” Bachmann, and Rick “Don’t Hate on the Crusades” Santorum, and Richard “God Wanted you Raped” Mourdock, and Joe “Question me and I’ll Handcuff You” Miller, and Rand “Serial Plagiarizer” Paul, and though we should all vote for them as often as we could (to make up for all those minorities that weren’t going to be allowed to vote you betcha) just doesn’t think Chris Christie is ready for prime time.

The party that give us the walking gaffe machine, hustler and scandal waiting to happen Mitt “Yes and No” Romney would like to believe that Christie’s background will not hold up under close scrutiny. This is Mitt Romney, the same Mitt Romney who all by himself makes the egregiously corrupt Grant administration look like the most honest and above-board administration in American history.

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As author John Heilemann told Bill Maher Friday, “He’s about to come under a level of scrutiny that, for all the attention he’s gotten, he’s never had before.”

Heilemann and Mark Halperin, who together co-write Game Change and now, Double Down, concluded that the Romney campaign considered and rejected Christie as a running mate in 2012:

“Mitt Romney’s vettors looked into him really carefully — and they came away with a lot of questions about his background, questions he wouldn’t answer.”

That kind of talk gets Republicans all excited. What, does he pluck wings off bugs, torture small animals, what? Give money to the poor?

No, nothing so trivial. What happened was Hurricane Sandy. Oh my God no! Not the handshake with President Barack Hussein Obama! Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s the chat that got the folks at Breitbart so hot and bothered they locked themselves in the company bathrooms all day (Newsmax got pretty excited too):

They have to be absolutely terrified by Christie’s victory in New Jersey the other day. Sure Christie yells at teachers and constituents, sure he’s obnoxious. But he violated the prime directive: he complimented President Barack Obama.

What was he thinking? How could he screw up so badly?

The Republicans agreed on this simple plan in 2008:

1. Obama is always wrong;
2. If he says something right, misquote him;
3. If he doesn’t say anything at all, invent something to condemn him with;
4. If Obama doesn’t do anything scandalous, event a scandal, repeat as often as necessary;
5. Oppose everything he says and does under any and all circumstances even if it is something the GOP has previously supported.

How could Chris Christie not follow that simple recipe? What was he thinking saying he thought Obama did something right????

I mean, c’mon, look at Rand Paul, look at Ted Cruz. These guys get it!

We all know Chris Christie is not any sort of moderate, let alone centrist, however the media may choose to categorize him. If any other day and age, Christie would seem like a raving extremist himself. It is an indication of how far right the Republican Party has moved that Christie seems to them, by comparison, to be a raging leftist.

The Washington Times called Christie a RINO in 2012. MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski, Morning Joe’s co-host, repeated the accusation on October 23 of this year. I mean, if he’s not Rand Paul, how can he be a genuine Republican?

If Chris Christie were a Republican in Name Only – and he is not – what would he be? He is certainly not a Democrat. Nothing close to that.

What Chris Christie is, is a Republican who is just a tad less extreme than other Republicans and a whole lot smarter than other Republicans – he realizes he also needs votes from people who aren’t certifiably crazy.

Can you see why Republicans would fear Chris Christie? He threatens to undo everything they’ve worked so hard to NOT do since 2008. Andy By God Jackson he’s out of control! He’s a maniac!

And let’s face it, if shaking hands with our first black president doesn’t mark him as unfit to call himself a Republican, I don’t know what does, by gum!

Hrafnkell Haraldsson

Hrafnkell Haraldsson, a social liberal with leanings toward centrist politics has degrees in history and philosophy. His interests include, besides history and philosophy, human rights issues, freedom of choice, religion, and the precarious dichotomy of freedom of speech and intolerance. He brings a slightly different perspective to his writing, being that he is neither a follower of an Abrahamic faith nor an atheist but a polytheist, a modern-day Heathen who follows the customs and traditions of his Norse ancestors. He maintains his own blog, A Heathen’s Day, which deals with Heathen and Pagan matters, and Mos Maiorum Foundation www.mosmaiorum.org, dedicated to ethnic religion. He has also contributed to NewsJunkiePost, GodsOwnParty and Pagan+Politics.