John Boehner Sends House Republicans to Charm School to Learn How to Talk to Women

Grimes as "obama girl'
Grimes as “obama girl’

Hey, y’all, it’s about to get all high schooly in DC, as Republican candidates are being taught how to talk to their female constituents.

The idea is to con you into thinking that they get it. They’re not just using you for your vote and then going to toss your rights in the back alley with the illegal abortions they support from the time they weren’t getting along with their wife and told you they were single.

Oh yes, ladies, the Republicans are on the prowl. And you all are so dumb, you will so fall for these one liners, because they are going to learn to stop telling you out loud that your body can shut that rape pregnancy down. Good thing you can’t see through that one, eh? Heh. No man ever tried to put one over on you before. This is SO NEW. Doesn’t that just give you the warm fuzzies?

John Bresnahan and Anna Palmer reported for Politico that the National Republican Congressional Committee decided to teach Republicans how to speak properly in front of women they are running against.

Apparently, head denier of female rights, Speaker John Boehner, who let vulnerable women flail without the protection of the Violence Against Women Act for almost a year because he didn’t have the courage to be a real man, is “serious” about this (this being winning against female candidates). “His own top aides met recently with Republican staff to discuss how lawmakers should talk to female constituents.”

WOW. Nothing says you care like sending your top aides to order flowers for your Appalachian Trail replacement wife. Ladies, are you there yet? If not, take heart in the fact that they are being schooled in “messaging against women opponents,” a GOP aide told Politico.

Speaker John Boehner urged his colleagues Thursday in response to this POLITICO story to “be a little more sensitive” when running against women.

“Some of our members just aren’t as sensitive as they ought to be,” Boehner said.

Yes, message against us, we LOVE that. Kinda like how they’ve been putting Alison Grimes’ head on the body of the Obama Girl, just to show us how they see women, in case calling her an “empty skirt” who “babbles” wasn’t clear.

They’re going to message against us, without admitting that their War on Women exists. Oh, that three year assault on women’s rights that’s in evidence? Ignore that ladies, because the GOP knows you girls are all about getting home in time to cook dinner, like Mitt Romney explained to his binders full of women in the last election right before you rejected him.

One thing Republicans agree on, though, is that they could be a wee bit more “sensitive” when it comes to running against women. Not when it comes to women’s issues. Oh, gosh, no. This is about winning. “Let me put it this way, some of these guys have a lot to learn,” a Republican staffer said according to Politico.

What don’t you understand? Republicans LOVE women when they’re beating them in elections. They just don’t like it when y’all speak out or try to exercise authority or dominion over your own body and life.

Here’s a chicktip: If you have to go to school to learn how to talk to women, it’s too late for you. We see you. Really.

Post Image from Bluegrass Bulletin, as retweeted by the National Republican Senatorial Committee, before they sort of “apologized” for their tee-hee juvenile ideas about women candidates being dumb sex objects.

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