Fundamentalists Are Pretty Sure Jesus Would Not Bake a Wedding Cake for a Gay Couple

No Wedding Cake for YouErick Erickson argued at RedState in February that “Jesus Christ would absolutely bake a cake for a gay person.” But Erickson did not think Jesus would bake a cake for a gay wedding, saying that, “I do not think Jesus Christ would participate in the ratification of a sin — and a marriage between two people of the same sex is a sin.”

Also asking “What would Jesus do?” was John Stonestreet, who wrote in an op-ed at LifeSiteNews in March that people who believe “Jesus would serve, wash the feet of, and have dinner with a gay person” are right.

But that’s different than saying that Jesus, the carpenter, would carve an altar for a same-sex wedding with a rainbow on it in place of a cross. He spent time with tax collectors, but He didn’t help them steal more.

Asking WWJD may seem like a no-brainer to opponents of marriage equality but you have to wonder just how relevant is ancient Jewish law that people like Erick Erickson themselves ignore on a daily basis (prohibitions against certain foods, against shaving, clothing, etc).

Which brings us to an example of some truly, egregiously flawed reasoning.

Pat Robertson seems to have missed the fact that the United States isn’t Israel and that this is the 21st century, not the first. This past Wednesday on 700 Club, he played what he probably imagined to be his trump card against marriage equality:

(I)n Jesus’ time if two men decided they wanted to cohabit together, they would have been stoned to death. So Jesus would not have baked them a wedding cake, nor would he have made them a bed to sleep in because they wouldn’t have been there.

Fortunately for us, we don’t live in Galilee or Judaea of Jesus’ time. Jesus lived 2,000 years ago and on another continent.
This is a point Pat Robertson seems to be missing.

Jews of Palestine in that era did not have the First Amendment. Jesus was not protected from Roman law and gays of the time were not protected from Jewish law. And you wonder if Robertson is aware that Jesus had something to say about stoning people?

They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” (John 8:7)

Temporal and spatial relationships (even common sense) do not seem to be grasped by fundamentalists north of the border any better than south. Canadian evangelist Tristan Emmanuel asked at BarbWire.com, “Does Bill Maher deserve a whipping for slandering God?”

In a truly humorous outburst, Emmanuel said,

He may have protection under the First Amendment to say whatever slanderous thing that comes out of his toilet bowl brain, but that does not mean Christians should turn the other cheek.

Um, yeah, actually it does. Jesus said so:

But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also (Matthew 5:39).

Oh dear. Makes you wonder if Emmanuel has read the Bible he claims to be defending. But rather than appeal to Jesus’ injunction, he, like Robertson, turned to the Old Testament, Psalms 14.

He even listed laws from colonial Massachusetts, as if those apply or are in any way relevant to the discussion. Like ancient Jewish law, they are not.

Just as we don’t live in first century Galilee or Judaea, we don’t live in colonial Massachusetts.

We live in the 21st century, in the United States of America.

You would think that their cars and microwave ovens and, oh, I don’t know, maybe their computers, remind them that many years have passed since Christians got to persecute people who didn’t agree with them.

But apparently, participating in our shared reality is just too much to ask of them. But then we knew that, didn’t we?

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31 Replies to “Fundamentalists Are Pretty Sure Jesus Would Not Bake a Wedding Cake for a Gay Couple”

  1. No one can say what Jesus would do. Any person who says they can is either crazy or one of questionable intentions. That does not mean you do not make the cake. I would bake the cake as this is a decision for God and not man. Of course I like cake and would bake one for anyone.

  2. Its amazing that all these fake christians do not see how pathetic and unhinged they look with all these insane comments.You almost have to pity them for their ignorance.

  3. I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t have carved an altar with a cross on it either seeing as how it was the instrument of his death.

  4. But, that’s just the point: they DO want to be pitied. They DO want to look as if they are the only ones who are allowed to act out with moral insanity and petty ignorance; their bottom line is, persecution. That means you must be a REAL X-tain!

    It doesn’t matter to them that they are seen for the “ig-mo’s” they really are because, at the end of the day, they’re fairy tale tells them that all they have to do is say “sorry” to their sky-god. Their reality is belief, behavior is whatever they want to do/say; man made laws are a big so-what.

    They want your pity for bad behavior no matter whose “eyes” are observing. It gives them a chance for attention, not unlike an addict who gets back in to the grace of their object of desire (social circles) by the very act of “pity” and begging forgiveness.

    And, to top it all off, they want the whole world to “believe” this behavior is what “Jesus” would do…

  5. While no one can predict with certainty what Jesus would do concerning LGBT issues we can look to his actions. He healed the sick, fed the hungry, preffered the company of outcasts and misfits of society. Not knowing his baking skills I can assume he would have welcomed them with open arms. I believe that homosexuality is not mentioned in the New Testament of the Bible for a reason. Because they existed then as they exist today. Maybe Jesus thought it was nobodys business what goes on in someone elses bedroom.
    The religious fanatics and the conservative politicians twist and contort religion into what they want it to say. If they want to follow Jesus why are they refusing healthcare, letting people go hungry, all while looking down their noses at others? Judge not lest ye be judged, right?
    I have tried to understand why the zealots have such disdain the the LGBT community. My conclusion is that it is their own self loathing
    and maybe a closet door they’re hiding behind.

  6. Its funny this jesus said of a prostitute(which was a HUGE business even back then), let those without sin cast the first stone. this jesus never said prostitution was ok, he talked about the person themselves.

    Those who want to use this jesus character for power and money will never admit that the person was what matters. Are gay people any different than a straight person? Only whats in a persons heart are they different. A gay person accepting their jesus as a savior is no different than a straight person doing it. This jesus never cared what a person was doing or was like, he only was interested in their hearts. What do YOU beleive about the god he followed? That was all that mattered. Today people have moved far far away from what the religion is all about and use it for hate and profit. Dont think this jesus would like that

  7. Let us ask “what would Jesus say?” Jesus was supposedly a literate, educated man, capable of reading and writing – so, where are there any extant remains of his writings? If they exist, why were they not included into what is now called “the bible” when the first Council of Nicea started the codification of related writings? And if not, why? If memory serves me, only two of the chapters of the New Testament are accepted as actually written by one of the Twelve Apostles, everything else is basically hearsay, especially that attributed to Paul of Tarsus, who never even met Jesus. The biggest problem with the xtian fundamentalists is that they take the portions of their holy book that they choose to dwell on literally, where it was meant to be used metaphorically and allegorically. Not only that, but the canons have been re-translated, re-interpreted, and re-agenda-ized(?) so many times from and into so many different languages that what they read is probably nothing like the original.

  8. It’s easy to read the scriptures to find out that Jesus Christ preferred the company of sinners to that of the Righteous. That he thought outsiders had better chance of being saved than the wealthy. That he preferred to be good to being right.

    That he basically is the opposite of Pat Robertson.

  9. The GOP’s fundamentalist RR has done so much damage to this nation!!! their hateful policy towards ANYTHING that isn’t a WASP is beyond sickening!! They’ve just perpetuated the idea of the MINDLESS- HYPOCRITE- RELIGIOUS NUT!! and one of it’s byproduct has been turning ”SOME” normally rational thinking liberals into hateful generalizing individuals themselves! It boggles my mind how “SOME” people here rant about how bigoted the GOP is (AND THEY ARE!) but in a heartbeat they’ll be just as bigoted on ALL people of faith. I’ve said this before, THE GOP’s fundamentalist RR wing has NOTHING to do with christianity, it’s a POLITICAL organization. Just ask Pope Francis! and ask yourselves WHY does the GOP HATE him??!! BTW, just become SOMEONE calls themselves (YOU FILL IN THE BLANK) doesn’t make it so. The GOP’s religious right is as christian as Anton Lavey was! lol

  10. I love the way that rightwing religious extremists presume to speak for Jesus, when so much of what they do in their everyday lives especially toward the “least among us” is completely opposite to the way Jesus treated them. They cherry pick the Bible to find passages that support their ossified way of thinking on just about everything, and there is nothing of love for their neighbors in their words or actions. They are the facilitators of the greedy plutocrats who want a docile, easily cowed population that accepts its poverty with abject submission. They make it difficult for people who are genuinely pious and use their religion to make a difference for the better.

  11. Indeed. Prostitution is the World’s Oldest Profession, now practiced fervently by Repig Xtians and their Minions.

    *Second Oldest Profession: Motherhood

    (thank you to the late great humorist: Erma Bombeck

  12. Of course he wouldn’t he was a carpenter not a baker…. duh

    But he would make the marriage bed for them.

    Love god… love your neighbor…

  13. We know he liked wine. When they ran out he snapped his fingers to make more and said keep this party rolling.

  14. I think the biggest issue when liberals categorize all Christians/Evangelical nuts together it’s only because the Evangelical nuts are louder and more noticeable. I think the regular Christians tend to stay quieter because the nuts are such bullies to anyone that doesn’t agree with them. So everyone gets the same impression of that group. Muslims have the same problem. Because of a group of nuts everyone looks at all Muslims the same. Liberals tend to defend Muslims for this reason but we become short sighted when it comes to Christians. But we are getting to the point we are more afraid of the “gun toting, bible thumping, conservative” than “Muslim terrorists”. So we attack all of them to make them less scary.

  15. We? The only time muslims get defended is when they have the same right to worship here as christians.

    Your first sentence is silly. People do not categorize all christians and fundies as the same. We know the difference. And we are far more afraid of fundies then we are muslims. Fundies are here and they would be muslim terrorists if they could get away with it. Just look at Murfeesboro Tn to see that. Christians do not try to run your life, fundies would tell you exactly what they want you to think

    You are not a liberal, thats easy to see. We have many christians here and they are just as much afraid of the fundies as those who are not christians. But you tried

  16. Based on prior performance, I think it’s safe to say that if Jesus came back today, he’d pull out his AK47 or AR15 and proceed to cleanse the Temple again of the hypocrites who were using religion to line their own pockets.

  17. Exactly @Dani, we find it repugnant when GOPers label ALL Muslims as terrorist after 911 but “SOME” so called open minded liberals take a page right out of the GOPS playbook when they foolishly believe ALL people of faith are somehow associated with the GOP religious right! The religious right is a hate group! nothing more, nothing less.

  18. Whenever Pat Robertson says anything, the one thing you can count upon is that it’s a lie. Apparently, the commandment about “bearing false witness” doesn’t mean anything to him.

    To christians like Robertson no lie, no matter how stupid, irrational, or hate-filled is too much to use when spreading his message of being judgmental and unforgiving. “Judge not least ye be judged” is another biblical admonition that he disregards.

    The man is an avaricious, lying, hate-spewing disgrace to humanity.

  19. Pat Robertson once again spewing HIS interpretation of the Bible with his nonsense and trying to co-opt Jesus’ actions and words to fit into Robertson’s limited mis-understanding of Scripture which, as usual, he spits out in mis-statements.

    Jesus gave one commandment to his followers — LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.

    I don’t see this being practiced by these so-called “Christians.” They are hypocrites who keep spreading their judgement and their poison!

  20. Sorry but there is no reason to think that Jesus (or most of his followers for that matter) were literate. A day laborer or a fisherman in first century Palestine would not have been able to read or write. When I was in seminary back in the ’80s I learned Jesus was not what we would today call a carpenter. The Greek word used in the New Testament was not a skilled wood worker. It was closer to today’s day laborer.

    We cannot use today’s standards when talking about 2,000 years ago. My grandfather (who died in the early ’60s) was a blacksmith and carpenter. He, in theory, had a third grade education but while he could sign his name he was functionally illiterate.

    NONE of the books in the New Testament were written by any of the apostles. You are right that it was much later church councils that named the books for the apostles. The earliest surviving Christian writings were by Paul. Even some of the letters attributed to Paul are not by him but by followers of his.

  21. Maybe not a cake but since he supposed to be a carpenter I’m pretty sure he would craft a killer solid wood dinette set and china cabinet.

  22. The best thing Christian groups can do right now is focus on treating others the way you’d want them to treat you and be charitable. No one would argue those points. In urban areas throughout the US christians are seen as simple-minded. It’s a rapidly growing trend that gains popularity every time a film such as “Saved” is released. The Pope is dong his best to get church members to focus on the two main messages because he knows it’s the only way the church will survive in a world where people need more than faith to believe what they hear.

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