Categories: Featured News

Jeb Bush Tells Poor People To Stop Mooching and Get Married

Yahoo ran with “Bush, Ryan focus on poverty while courting donors,” but even they were dubious.

It’s getting tough for conservatives to keep selling the people the lies that tax cuts for the rich will trickle down one happy fine day. So Monday night, as Former Florida Republican Gov. Jeb Bush played Mix and Mingle with the GOP New York elites and Wall Street’s big donors, he put on his best Compassionate Con salesman act.

Buried under Bush’s sweet talk about immigration reform and the importance of education (oh, a reasonable Republican, the country will squeal with delight and relief!), was this, according to Politico:

He (Bush) praised Ryan, who was the evening’s first speaker, saying, “When it comes to the American family, Paul Ryan has it right.”

“A loving family taking care of their children in a traditional marriage will create the chance to break out of poverty far better, far better than any of the government programs that we can create,” Bush said.

This is hardly the first time in history the elites have preyed upon the religious “values” they instill in the masses in order to keep them under control. Somehow Republicans always have a divine right to speak for God, and lucky for them, God wants the rich to get all of the government resources.

Thus, same sex marriage is bad and you single moms and your kids must suffer because you are morally not entitled to government subsidies like the oil companies are. If only GOP God loved people like he does money. Jesus loved the money changers, y’all!

I hope you lazy people get it. Marry a person of the opposite sex and your poverty will go away. Also, no divorce ladies, even after that forced birth, post being raped. Traditional marriage solves everything in fairy land. Bottom line message: “So sorry about your poverty, but not! LOL, Love, GOP.”

What did Ryan get “right” about the American family? Yahoo reported:

Having toured the country in recent months focusing on the nation’s poor, Ryan declared that “the best way to turn from a vicious cycle of despair and learned hopelessness to a virtuous cycle of hope and flourishing is by embracing the attributes of friendship, accountability and love.”

“That’s how you fight poverty,” Ryan, the House Budget Committee chairman and 2012 vice presidential nominee, told a crowd of roughly 750 dressed in tuxedos and gowns.

Oh, yes. Friendship has long cured poverty, y’all. That and marrying someone of the opposite sex.

No one ever said you had to be smart to get rich, or that the black ties imparted some sort of wisdom or character that would enable those wearing them to overcome their own egos and ravenous greed. These attributes are exactly why Republicans can’t get it right. They are too far removed from the people, too far gone, and selling outdated, moldy spam deliberately mislabeled as caviar.

And then there was this bit, which makes me weep for all of the lovely caring of the black tie crowd – if only Bush hadn’t ruined it all by explaining that the best way to elevate people out of poverty is through being nice to them and having them marry the right sex; not with opportunity or emergency help or say, food.

Both Bush and Ryan emphasized messages before the black-tie crowd at Cipriani in Midtown of elevating people out of poverty. But even though Ryan is still believed to be considering running for president, he got relatively little attention compared with Bush.

Translation: Jeb Bush and Paul Ryan emphasized how they would con the people into supporting policies that would put the poor into further jeopardy. Bush and Ryan helped the elite explain why it’s okay to let your neighbor’s kids starve; you’re just being kind, after all, poverty is best helped with moral judgment and condemnation made by mere mortals who claim divine authority (just like our founders intended).

Former Mayor Rudy Guiliani, who used to love disgraced bully Chris Christie (R-NJ), was breathless with hope. Jeb would make a “heck of a leader”, he sighed to Politico, saying he hoped we’d find out. Yes, the country is so ready for another Bush. By 2016 we may have just pulled ourselves out of the bottomless pit partially brought on by the very policies Jeb Bush is championing for the rich.

Republicans are always in search of pretty, charismatic, Big Daddy or a kind face willing to sell their message of trickle down economics. Bush won the fight for most favored con artist last night, since Ryan was busted by those nuns for his austerity budget in a most public manner as he ran for Vice President in 2012.

Jeb Bush’s comments weren’t supposed to sound Romeny-esque and out of touch, after all, Jeb Bush is the latest Great White Hope To Sell the Con, and that is why Republicans are rediscovering him in spite of his last name.

Republicans can believe anything. Even, it seems, that poverty is best addressed with traditional marriage instead of government programs…

… So long as that message is accompanied with tax cuts and government subsidies for their fellow black ties.

Image: AP Photo/John Minchillo

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