Matthew Hagee Says it’s Not Climate Change You’re Feeling – It’s Jesus’ Return


Sweet baby Jesus…can a Heathen say that? I don’t know what else to say. Matthew Hagee, spawn of John Hagee, and a real chip off the old block, says there is no climate change. He says the claim that there is climate change taking place is in direct contradiction of the Bible and therefore not to be believed.

And you better believe him because he believes in violence, by God, and it was just a few week ago he said,

There is a value in spiritual violence, and it is time that you considered the role that you are playing or not playing and whether or not it’s time for you to become more aggressive in your beliefs.

So with the appropriate level of fear in your heart for both crazed preacher and ill-tempered deity, listen to the words of Hagee:

The Bible asks this question: whose report do you believe? And the biblical answer is, we believe the report of the Lord. As a matter of fact, at another place in Scripture it says, let God be true, and let every man be a liar.

Wow, that’s just great, Matthew! Outstanding! But – and you might have a different version of the Bible than I do – the Bible says nothing – that’s a big fat zero – about climate change or global warming, because in the Bronze Age, the science didn’t exist.

So of course, since men are liars, the only obvious option for the climate changes we are seeing is that Jesus is returning. Yes! Hallelujah! Jesus is finally coming back to Earth to clean up his mess!

The Bible says that whenever we approach the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ,that there would be strange weather patterns. Jesus said this in Matthew the twenty-fifth chapter.

He also said there would be false prophets.

“Take heed that no man deceive you. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many”

He said that in Matthew too. Just sayin’.

So we have a decision to make: do we believe what an environmentalist group says and choose to live in a world where we’re attempting to make everything as clean in the air as possible, or do we believe what the Bible says, that these things were going to happen and that rather than try to clean up all of the air and solve all of the problems of the world by eliminating factories, we should start to tell people about Jesus Christ who is to return?

Well, first of all, nobody said anything about eliminating all the factories. That would be pretty stupid. Also impractical, since factories produce things we all need in our modern technological society. Hell, we need factories to make wind turbines and water turbines and solar panels and other green technologies to combat climate change. Or as Hagee would put it I suppose, to combat Jesus’ return.

“Turn those wind turbines on him men! That’s it!”

Look, Matthew, if you are going for a straw man argument, at least come up with something better than that.

And look, the Vicar of Christ himself, Pope Francis, has just said,

Safeguard Creation, because if we destroy Creation, Creation will destroy us! Never forget this!

The message is pretty clear. We have to protect the environment, that we are biblically obligated to do so, and that to fail in that charge is to face destruction, not by the mighty hand of God flattening our puny selves, but at the hands of the climate itself. This is cause and effect. Or maybe Hagee didn’t watch The Matrix. I bet the Merovingian could have drilled the concept into him.


Pope Francis said in very unequivocal terms,

Creation is not a property, which we can rule over at will; or, even less, is the property of only a few: Creation is a gift, it is a wonderful gift that God has given us, so that we care for it and we use it for the benefit of all, always with great respect and gratitude.

But when we exploit Creation we destroy the sign of God’s love for us, in destroying Creation we are saying to God: ‘I don’t like it! This is not good!”So what do you like?’ ‘I like myself!’ – Here, this is sin! Do you see?

The Pope gets it. Believe in gods or not, the Pope sees how this whole environmental thing works, and in the end, it doesn’t matter why he believes we must care for the environment but that he does. I can live with the whole God says this, God says that thing because the Inquisitors aren’t dropping by my house to “put me to question” and to make sure I’m recycling.

There is no earthly reason – for that matter, no heavenly reason – to reject the reality of climate change. Matthew Hagee is not out anything if he admits that human effect on the climate has been deleterious in the extreme. The evidence is all around us. To insist the Bible says something it doesn’t say while the waters lap around your neck makes no sense at all. Or maybe it says somewhere in Hagee’s Bible that Jesus’ return will be accompanied by water rising up to his neck. Who knows.

The fact is, climate change deniers like Hagee are corporate tools, determined to destroy our earth, extracting everything of worth from its depths, and proving, once and for all, that it is their sincere belief that humans have less worth than anything else on or in the earth.

Welcome to corporate heaven, brought to you by Matthew Hagee, a proud sponsor of Fake Christianity.

41 Replies to “Matthew Hagee Says it’s Not Climate Change You’re Feeling – It’s Jesus’ Return”

  1. The bible also says God was stymied by people with iron chariots (the bastards!)

    From Judges: And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

    It also says God created the beasts both before and after Adam.

    There are also three different final statements of Christ.

    Yeah, all in all, I don’t think you can call the Bible a reliable source.

  2. Matthew 25 says nothing about weather patterns but instead talks about 5 wise and 5 foolish virgins and talents. Hagee lied about what the scripture says.

  3. I do wish their Jesus would hurry up and take these pretenders to wherever they think he will take them, their guns, and their Bible, and let the rest of us live in peace with cleaner air and water. My Jesus wants us to take care of the planet and her people…all of them!

  4. Climate Change is undeniably bad for your health and your body is your Temple so it follows that you should try to do something about it.

  5. Jesus is putting my old high school under water during my possible lifetime? Jesus is planning to turn my state into an archipelago?

  6. he has the whole quote wrong. jesus was asked about when he would return. Jesus’s response was to look for these signs: wars, rumors of wars, but do not be troubled. these things must pass, but the end is not yet.

    jesus mentions other signs, such as pestilence, but not what causes these events to happen.pestilence is broad in its meaning. every one of these signs jesus warns about are man made.

    you just have to have logic and break the verses down. climate change is a pestilence, and is man made. there you go.

  7. I’m sorry but this Hagee person is stupid.

    There is no reason, in this day and age, to be so ignorant of something that is impacting us every single day. The longer we wait to deal with climate change, the less likely we are to mitigate its most damaging effects.

    They know scientists are not referring to seasonal weather patterns. Just because it’s snowing outside does not mean the temperature of the earth is not increasing.

    Honestly, how do these people even manage to dress themselves in the morning?

  8. Neil deGrasse Tyson is sure gonna piss ’em off on the next Cosmos episode addressing Global Warming (Not the PC Climate Change).

    I’ll bet the Koch’s and ALEC aren’t too pleased with Rupert right about now.

  9. Every time these phonies spew their money-grubbing tales they prove their ignorance. They’re all out to enlarge their flock (aka $$) by whatever means necessary. Gosh, that sounds like the ‘publicans, doesn’t it? That’s painting with a broad brush, but I see no redeeming qualities in the lot of ’em!

    Well said, Sally in MI!

  10. The Bible say’s that the angels in Heaven don’t know, Jesus himself doesn’t know, only God The Father knows when Jesus will return. If Jesus were to come back, I wouldn’t want to be a Hagee, just think of all of the millions of dollars they have made off THE PRECIOUS BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST.

  11. If Jesus did come back and if he is anything like he was in the New Testament you wont go broke betting that these so called religious types would lynch him like the last time

  12. As soon as some dipstick says, “the bible says” you know immediately it is bullshit. I’d say more, but it’s already been said.

  13. I really don’t care what anyone believes, no matter how ridiculous, but NO ONE has the right to force anyone else to live by those beliefs…and no one has the right to destroy our planet because of their delusions.

    Abolish the tax exemption on church property and income, every one of them, every dime.

  14. GOP Jesus, creating a Biblically-themed waterpark.

    GOP Jesus: “I am the Way, the Truth, and… WOO-HOO!!! Watch me surf your old gymnasium, dude!!!”

  15. They now act like victims. Imagine the conflagration of stupidity, if they actually had a reason to claim victimhood?

    I shudder to think of it.

  16. Churches didn’t have any “right” to that tax exemption in the first place. They have their 10% tithes from their faithful flocks, don’t they? That’s more than what the Federal government gets from some corporations.

  17. They’d send him to Gitmo. What else do you do with a dark, mid-Eastern, Arab-looking socialist who can’t provide a birth certificate?

  18. Ever notice how the Holy Spirit visits the same families in the form of lots of money for their prayers; big bucks scammer.

  19. The Interpretation of the bible is open to interpretation.

    Jesus wouldn’t use death and destruction as his prelude. ​However, God would use tornadoes to send a message to stop the hate.

  20. The good shepherd (priests) of the Bible’s “God” create their very own “Heaven on Earth” for themselves (and their spawn) and a true “Hell on Earth” for the rest of the planet and its inhabitants by preaching and enforcing their God’s laws and guilt-trip “sin-issues” onto the people who are gullible enough to follow and support them. In my opinion.

  21. Actually this is true. Jesus returned.. But I nailed him to another cross and set him on fire so I wouldn’t have to hear about more of his bullsh*t.

    Then 3 days later he rose again.. extra crispy and he tried to ascend to heaven. I shot him down.

    … to be fair, it could have been a hobo. They are hard to tell apart.

    PS- none of this happened, including Jesus.. dummies.

  22. If the “meek” (snort) plan to inherit the earth they’d best make sure there’s something left to inherit … wouldn’t you think?

  23. Of course he did, but d’you think the dumbass rubes are even going to check? The first rule of being a successful conman is to know your marks.

  24. Especially on Hagee’s Cornerstone Church. I read somewhere that the church takes in almost $20 million a year. And if you saw the size of it! I went to a funeral there which was held in one of their ‘chapels,’ and dang it, the chapel was bigger than most churches here in San Antonio.

    Not only that, but there are police directing traffic on Sundays so his 19,000 sheeple can get in and out of the parking lots without problems, while anyone driving past is totally disaccommodated. To hell with the people just trying to get past Cornerstone; they can wait until the parking lots are emptied. I have a hard time believing 19,000 people are that bewitched by that nasty man. And Matthew is just a chip off the old block.

  25. “it’s time for you to become more aggressive in your beliefs.”

    Certainly explains why the baptists are gathering guns down here.

  26. What version of the Bible is this dude reading? And what was he smoking?

    I just read the whole of Matthew 25 (King James version no less). Wise and foolish virgins, check. Servants and talents, check. Sheep and goats, check. A king hungry, thirsty, naked, and in prison, check. Climate change or “strange weather,” sorry–not in there. This clown doesn’t even know the book he claims as his “proof.”

  27. Reminds me of a friend who got a fancy invitation to a high school graduation from the minister (for his son) of a local church. My friend does not attend
    his church but had met the minister at some function that her own church held. She didn’t know how he got her address or even her name but since she is a religious fanatic she felt that she had to give some money to the son who was graduating. It wasn’t just some money but $50. I asked why on earth would
    she give $50 to someone she doesn’t even know? NOTE: She is dirt poor, living on a SS check. Good grief………..these damn religious fanatics are the kind that support the likes of Hagee, indeed makes them millionaires. The best I can figure is that she/they think they have to buy their way into that fictional heaven and don’t even seem to realize that all they are doing is making a heaven on earth for those greedy, good for nothing SOBs calling themselves ministers.

  28. All I know, from what I have been told about Jesus….is that when he does return to earth, I wouldn’t want to be today’s republican.

  29. Let’s remember now . . . the earth is only 6,000 years old, right?

    Climate change . . . what climate change???

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