Mama We’re All Crazy Now – A Michele Bachmann Retrospective


As Republican Michele Bachmann (R-MN) prepares to exit Congress with a whimper after falling victim to her own lack of ethics, it seems like a good time to look back on her career of setting a benchmark for crazy.

I have written about Bachmann, here or elsewhere, for pretty much her entire time in Congress, and I just want to say that if David Crockett set a benchmark for honesty, she…well, she did not. In fact, the historical figure Bachmann most resembles is Joseph McCarthy.

I will forever have a memory of her hurrying down the halls of Congress to safety, fleeing CNN”s Senior Congressional Correspondent, Dana Bash, who was trying to ask her about her attacks on Huma Abedin. The only thing that sets her apart from McCarthy is her Olympic sprinter skillz.

I cannot see this particular incident as anything but a metaphor for an endless flight from reality, which pretty much describes Bachmann’s entire time in Congress, and when you get right down to it, serves as a metaphor for the entire Tea Party movement.

We cannot call Bachmann a stateswoman. She was never that. We can barely call her a representative, her nominal role for Minnesota’s 6th District on Capitol Hill since 2007, because she has been out of touch with many of her constituents, but worse, with the very fabric of reality itself.

During that time, she has provided many hours of sometimes outraged entertainment. Together with Sarah Palin, her costar in that Tea Party production, Democracy Gone Wild, she acted as the shrill voice of the Tea Party. As the unemployable Palin toured America, grfiting for dollars, Bachmann tried to turn Capitol Hill into her own personal ATM.

Saying recently than she wanted President Obama spanked and his magic wand taken away pretty much epitomizes her time in Washington. She has been a lot of things, from Islamophobic McCarthyist to uninformed homophobe to Latinophobe. For Bachmann, everything she disagrees with is “of the devil.”

She has also established a reputation for being an indefatigable liar. But always, always she has been clueless (even Chris Wallace once asked her if she was a flake).

Despite reassuring America that “I’ve been a part of the real world for all throughout my life,” she hasn’t seemed to intersect with it much. Like the time,

For Bachmann, the Bible is empirical knowledge and scientific fact. Sadly, in her mind, that reality she claims to be part of is not.

Whether it is pill-popping and migraines or God’s relentless droning in her head, or simple lack-wittedness that have kept her out of focus, is impossible to say. But Michele Bachmann has not ever been a person who has “been part of the real world.”

Things haven’t been going well for her recently. Like Sarah Palin, her clout has been blunted by time, and probably more than a little of that axiom that familiarity breeds contempt: calling President Obama “lawless” and a threat to America’s survival wears thin after a while. Especially when more interesting people than her are saying the same thing, and perhaps the fact of America’s inconvenient if continuing survival. Heck, even sleeping with Putin hasn’t made her relevant.

America may not, as she claims, be decaying, but Michele Bachmann has decayed before our eyes, falling much more quickly than Rome. She wrote her memoir in 2011. Core of Conviction sold only 3,000 copies in two weeks. Bachmann neglected to game the market like her fellow Tea Partier Sarah Palin, who had her SarahPAC spend $64K on her book. That’s the Republican way to the bestseller list.

Subsequent headlines were no more reassuring: After Receiving Endorsement From Michele Bachmann, Veteran GOP Congressman Loses In Primary. Even right wing news outlet CNN took a shot at her recently: CNN Shoots Down Michele Bachmann With a Single Point About Benghazi and Jobs.

Bachmann wanted another Benghazi investigation but even CNN realizes people want jobs and a Congress that actually does something. Bachmann’s name will forever be linked with the least effective Congress in this nation’s history, and certainly the most ideologically blinkered House of Representatives.

As recently as July, we learned that If She Doesn’t End Up In Prison Michele Bachmann Says She May Run For President in 2016, but on Wednesday we learned, Tea party blows off Bachmann’s rally call. She ends up with a press conference instead.

Michele Bachmann might want to reconsider that presidential run, no matter what God tells her. After all, the last time she ran, back in 2011, she undertook to rebut President Obama’s Jobs Act speech and ended up speaking to an empty room.

No one buys her books, no one shows up to hear her speech, and her big rally turns into a press conference. It has to be hard to be Michele Bachmann. It has certainly been hard being a hostage to her madness.

But it’s all over now. Demagogue-esses Palin and Bachmann have pretty much exited the stage of history together as a new and crazier group – mostly male, of course – takes their place.

We don’t have to wait. The jury is not out on Minnesota’s Madam of Mad-Hattery. With her rally turned press-conference, history’s verdict was already in.

27 Replies to “Mama We’re All Crazy Now – A Michele Bachmann Retrospective”

  1. To Minnesota’s shame this crazy women made it too Congress! I’m a mn.sotian
    One thing to remember however is, when this crazy made it to Congress, so did many other crazy’s. They are still there for a while. Still trying to being Pres. Obama down, bring our nation down, trying with all the power they have to destroy. Just for the sake of destroying!

  2. Hey Michele, we want our farm subsidy you gave you back! You’re a thief, you steal from poor Americans. Shame be your name. Although batshit crazy fits you to a T.

  3. Don’t be too sad about not having La Bachmann around anymore, Hraf. We’ve still got Louie Gohmert to mess with, and casting aspersions on his asparagus is my favorite pastime. It could become yours too. Then there are Peter King, Trent Franks, et mult al. The GOPers seem to have an unlimited supply of the batshit crazy in their ranks.

  4. Bachmann was never a representative. Like most tea partier’s she never had any idea of why she was there except to disrupt government. Putting her on the Intel committee should have been a criminal act by the boehner

    All she is in for is pushing the government closer to corporatism and trying to turn our laws into fanatic religious rule

  5. I imagine the remainder of her life, if she avoids prison, will be filled with republican candidates running at full speed from her endorsements—that and working the de-gaying scam with the Fabulous Marcus.

  6. No one comes to her rallies. Why would anyone pay her to speak? Unless of course it’s for comic relief. [WINK]

  7. When she is no longer in Congress, who will step into her pumps? Louie Gohmert. Then there is Peter King. The three Batshit Amigos. But seriously, we got to suffer from their antics and batshit crazy talk on the airwaves and in the media? Comic relief? Ok, I can deal with it then.

  8. Ethics Violator – lyin bitch,a tea jerk who wants America to go backwards 100 years and screw the people that pay her salary and her farm subsidy. I think shes a witch,

  9. Married to a a man who is clearly a closet case gay man. Nothing wrong with that except your married to bachman. He can come out now that she’s going to jail and losing office. He couldn’t do it before. Too embarrassing for her. That’s why she adopted 20 girls…instead of 20 boys. She knew. I have a funny feeling he’s not gonna mind her being locked up so he can go on with his other lifestyle.

  10. So many GOP wackadoos, so little time! Adios crazy lady. Now go home to your gay husband (who looks like the love child of Liberace and Ted Cruz) and let him out of the closet.

  11. Her replacement is waiting in the wings – Joni Ernst, another nutso person who castrates pigs and wants to do the same in DC. Who votes for these people? Surely there were dirty tricks pulled at the polls. Darrel Issa is STILL trying to “get” our President out of the WH. He is another member of the crazy party who should be in prison for Grand Theft Auto.

  12. I saw (though didn’t read the article)in the Davenport, IA newspaper that Iowa had a record high voter turnout for this midterm election. WTF? I thank the gods I only work in Iowa, I no longer live there.

  13. I must be the ONLY person here that DOES NOT conform to the SOCIALIST LIBERALS that are posting.
    Wake-up people and get a REAL grip on what is going on with our government; providing you have any sense left. CNN is the acronym for Communist News Network.

  14. I find it hilarious you use the words socialist and communist as if you have a clue what they mean. But, thanks for stopping by and letting us know that intelligence from the right is still missing

  15. If you took a good honest look, you would see the disturbing similarities between today’s Republican elite and the Communist leaders. I know that is too mush to ask of a right-winger, but they are much alike.

  16. Actually, CO2 is as deadly as CO. From my days working in engine rooms and tanks, (the fuel kind not the military kind) if I recall correctly an 11% carbon dioxide concentration in air is deadly, as in you are instantly asphyxiated and drop dead right now.

  17. Judging by your post, it looks like you didn’t have any sense to begin with or any brains for that matter!

  18. The truly bats**t crazy ones seriously believe they are on a mission from god to rid the country of the godless evil liberals. I know this firsthand because I have many family members who think the same thing and they will never quit trying.

  19. Why can’t this country realize that the Republican Party is FULL of dysfunctional, crazy, weird, off the wall, hateful,divisive, hypocrits, bac-stabbing, lying, two-faced, incoherent, spiteful, un-classy, stubborn, cold, callous, trash talking, arrogant SOB’s….claiming to be doing what’s right for the country. I don’t think so. And those Amaricans who vote for these people are masochists.

  20. Left off the list in the article was when she was appearing at some event and excitedly stated “we’re right near where John Wayne used to live!”. More accurately, it was near where John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer lived. Brilliant, just brilliant. A little more research would have helped. Oh those facts can be so pesky sometimes.

  21. I hate it when people call her bat shit crazy since bats do not deserve to be disparaged by this crazy cunt. Can not wait till she ends up in jail.

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