Bobby Jindal Threatens America with a Rick Perry ‘The Response’ Redux

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Remember back in 2012 when Rick Perry tried to rally the Religious Right to his particular crazy rain with his prayer rally, The Response, held at Reliant Stadium in Houston? This was a cataclysmic collision of fake-Christian militants and Republican politics where hypocrisy and lies took center stage. We the People met God’s plan at The Response – and lost.

Perry had every lunatic fringer and extremist who could be found crammed into that place, including self-proclaimed prophets and apostles. And he lost the election. Disastrously. I mean, screw up in a debate or two and God will kick you under a bus faster than…well, faster than Rick Perry can figure out where he is or what he’s going to say next.

Rick Perry wasn’t the one. Will it be…Morning Joe’s man-crush, Bobby Jindal? Got it in one! That torch has passed to Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, who is going to have a response of his own. In the only place not only striving to be dumber than Texas, but succeeding: Louisiana.

So coming our way next January is “The Response: Louisiana” yay. What Bobby J wants from you, America, is to “turn back to God” and “light the spark that starts a spiritual revival that will put these United States of America back on the right path.”

No. Not “on” the right path, but “in” it, I think. Presumably, so we can get run over by a car driven by Ted Cruz, assuming he doesn’t steer straight for the ditch, that is.

No thanks, Bobby J! You are not going to walk into the White House like a boss. Not on my watch.

Check out Bobby J’s appeal courtesy of Right Wing Watch:

You know as many of us survey our country today, we’re worried about what we see. We see a weak economy. Many of us worry about whether our children will inherit the same opportunities we inherited from our parents. We worry about whether they will be able to pursue the American dream. Too many think if we just elect the right politician, pass the right law, pass the right policies, that will fix all that ails America. But what we really need in these United States is a spiritual revival. Winston Churchill once said about the American people, ‘you can trust the Americans to do the right thing – after they have exhausted all the alternatives.’ Well we have exhausted the alternatives. It is time to turn back to God. That is why I am so excited to invite you to come in January, come to The Response here in the Pete Maravich Center on the LSU campus in Baton Rouge. It will be a time of prayer of fasting, of repentance, of celebration. It is time to light the spark that starts a spiritual revival that will put these United States of America back on the right path.

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So basically, what Jindal is telling us is this: The economy the GOP destroyed, and keep trying to destroy, is weak, and that because of this, and because they don’t want Obama to fix it, as he has undeniably been doing, “we have exhausted the alternatives. It is time to turn back to God.”

Apparently, the alternatives don’t include a Democrat fixing what a Republican destroyed.

The last time all the religious fanatics got together, good mojo did not result. Rick Perry did not come out looking like Jesus of Nazareth. Heck, he didn’t even look like Pontius Pilate…or King Herod. A morality play it was not, unless it was one where God’s message gets completely lost.

Rick Perry chose the dark side. Given Bobby Jindal has already chosen the dark side as well, is there any need for this farce to go forward?

We are beset with would-be messiahs, each more flawed than the last. And Bobby isn’t even fighting the ghost of Rick Perry, but his own.

So this response had better be better than his last response:

That response was bad. We don’t want a Republican version of Mr. Rogers as president. That’s just creepy. I am sure the rest of the world feels the same way.

So if you want a bunch of really creepy, corrupt, religious freedom-hating illiterates who think the earth is 6,000 years old trying to sneak a peek up your wife’s, mother’s, girlfriend’s, daughter’s vagina, before they go out to stone your gay brother and teach your kids that slavery was great for black folks, fine: go ahead and choose Bobby Jindal. Because that’s what you’ll get.

If you want an America at least resembling the one the Founding Fathers intended, don’t do that. We’ve never exhausted our alternatives. The economy is improving despite every roadblock the Republicans can put up, and if God can’t lower the price of gasoline back down to a buck a gallon, well, I don’t think he can “save” America either.

On the other hand, by the GOP’s own estimation, President Obama has lowered the price of gas. I think that tells us pretty much all we need to know. Americans CAN do anything, and will. The GOP can either join us, or get out of the way. And that includes YOU, Bobby Jindal, and whatever god you’re pretending to worship.


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