Friday Fox Follies – The Holiday Edition

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Prior to examining this week’s Fox “News” shenanigans and tomfoolery, it would be journalistic malpractice not to note the retirement of Stephen Colbert. That he inhabited that character so perfectly for 9 years is a testament to his comedic abilities. [In a previous incarnation Friday Fox Follies played the character of Aunty Em Ericann in all social media activity, until it became a straight-jacket from which we were involuntarily released.]

Colbert, the comedian, will go on to host what’s left of Letterman’s show when he packs up his Stupid Pet Tricks next year. In case we’ve seen the last of The Colbert Report’s Stephen Colbert, how will he be missed?

Watch the last Colbert Report:

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Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,The Colbert Report on Facebook,Video Archive

Just like FFF, Stephen Colbert schooled Fox News hard: Comedy, Bill O’Reilly and the exposure of right-wing patriotism lies:. As Sophia A. McClennen writes:

[O]ne of the unique features of Colbert’s satire has been the way he defined his character as an American patriot. From the red, white and blue theme of his set to his two books — “I Am America (And So Can You!)” and “America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren’t” — Colbert’s character was deeply tied to the idea that it was time to fight to redefine what it means to be patriotic. Colbert’s books were a direct spoof of pundit books like Bill O’Reilly’s “Killing Patton,” “Killing Kennedy” and “Killing Lincoln.”  Colbert showed us that not only had we taken for granted the idea that the right defined patriotism, but we had also lost our own language of national values.  He reminded us that being critical can and should be a central feature of active citizenship.

Raw Story chose The 10 best moments from The Colbert Report as Media Matters bids Farewell, Colbert Nation, while asking And Why Is Conservative Comedy Still Unfunny? I’ll give the last word to Stephen Colbert: Can’t Wait To Never Watch Bill O’Reilly Ever Again: ‘F–k That Noise.’ If only FFF had that luxury.


With Colbert gone, it’s left to FFF and — when he feels up to it — Jon Stewart to make fun of the Falafel King’s hubris about White Privilege and his Phony War on Christmas. This year in Bill O’Reilly: I Won the War on Christmas, he declared victory, even if Fox News Can’t Decide If There’s Still A War On Christmas. Mediaite’s Evan McMurray continues:

“This is the only year we have not had a store that commanded its employees not to say ‘Merry Christmas,'” a victorious Bill O’Reilly said on Late Night with Seth Myers Wednesday evening. “It’s over. We won.”

“Anybody can say Merry Christmas if they want,” O’Reilly said, adding, “They don’t have to.”

Pomposity personified is what made him a perfect target for Colbert. On NBC’s Late Night, Bill O’Reilly Doubles Down With Victory Claim In “War On Christmas” during which he said, “I Might Have Just Fulfilled My Last Obligation On Earth,” leading to snarky headlines like “We Won The War”: Bill O’Reilly Congratulates Himself For Having “Single-Handedly Saved Christmas” and Bill O’Reilly Takes Two Victory Laps For ‘Single-Handedly’ Winning The War On Christmas.

However, he’s really hoping we have short memories. How can he, with a straight face, declare total victory in 2014 when just last year O’Reilly [said]: The War On Christmas Is ‘Real And We Just Won’?!?!

Is it hubris, White Privilege, or thinly disguised racism when Bill O’Reilly tells Martin Luther King III: Blacks should be wearing ‘Don’t Get Pregnant at 14- shirts? Or when O’Reilly Rips Into Samuel L. Jackson: He’s Trying to ‘Diminish’ America? How about when Bill O’Reilly Accuses African Americans Of Disliking America?

Is it any wonder that Mediaites reports Only 1% of Fox News Viewers Are Black?

Now that The War on Christmas is over. Jesus won, here’s Bill O’Reilly’s new boogeywoman: The blowhard’s demented attack on Elizabeth Warren.


Speaking of blowhards and Pagan Holidays: Fox’s Megyn Kelly Had a Very Awkward Christmas Party Encounter with Obama, as noted by Mediate’s Andrew Desiderio:

When Obama said to her, “The White House is a pretty fun place, isn’t it?” Kelly blurted out, “It is. Maybe we’ll be here in two years.”

As Kelly explained to Kimmel, it was a joke that she and her husband were somehow going to run for president for 2016, but Obama just looked at her like she was crazy. “I think all he was thinking was, ‘Who is we? Oh, she’s with Fox News. Oh, I don’t like Fox News. Oh, that’s for Republicans, she must mean the Republicans! Is this a shot at me at my Christmas party?'”

So newsworthy was this party that Mediaite’s Matt Wilstein followed up with Megyn Kelly Expands on Her Awkward Encounter with President Obama:

On her show, Kelly laughed it off and revealed another interesting detail: that someone, unnamed, at the Christmas party from another network told her that he or she was “on a sinking ship.”

“Can you guess who it was?” Kelly joked. “It was definitely not a Fox News person.”

At least she didn’t use her visit to the White House to insist President Obama was White, like she did Santa and Jesus last year. As a clever media pundit noted in Megyn Kelly Is A Small Slender Liar!!!:

However, to compound her extreme asshattery, Kelly practically ignores the valid criticism that she is 100% wrong to say Jesus was White, which is far more offensive than a casual statement declaring fictional Santa is a real White guy. This is all she said about that:

By the way, I also said Jesus is white. As I’ve learned in the past two days, that is far from settled.

Far from settled?!?! Not, “I said something bone-headed?”


FFF celebrated when the Elisabeth Hasselbeck returned to the Curvy Couch on Fox & Friends following her recent health scare. When they removed the tumor, doctors installed a Palin Word Salad Generator™. As Fox’s Hasselbeck Uses Sydney Siege to Defend CIA Torture Program demonstrates:

“Meanwhile, the actual individuals here at home who have been looking into and trying to stop attacks like this and perhaps future hostage situations, as we are still at war indeed with ISIS and terrorism are the CIA, and they have been painted as the bad guys at home.”

Following a clip of Cheney’s face-off with Chuck Todd, Hasselbeck added, “When you see what’s happening in Australia, today, right now, in a chocolate shop and you understand the real war with ISIS that we’re in, and the sharp contrast with the CIA trying to do their job and keep America safe for the past 13 years, startles you, any day.”

FFF is trying to determine if the half-Governor of Alaska gets a royalty based on the word, or whether the Palin Word Salad Generator™ is a subscription service.


Headly Westerfield is a quiet Atheist, who has nevertheless celebrated Hanukkah, Christmas, Chanukah, Festivus, Kwanza, and the Pagan Winter Solstice. Happy Holidays!!!

5 Replies to “Friday Fox Follies – The Holiday Edition”

  1. I want to know when O’Reilly, the Grand Savior of Christmas, tells Wal-Mart that they should be closed on the Great White American holiday instead of forcing their employees to come in for the wages they should be making every day? Or does Bill-O run out for more booze and cheetos on the sacred day just to check that all employees are indeed saying those special American Founder words and not “Happy Holidays?”

  2. I read the article and I am still trying to put together the statement by Elizabeth Hasselbeck. I am trying to figure out what the hell she was saying. An explanation from a sane person would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

  3. My husband watched a bit of Fox News–and *they* are now saying “Happy Holidays”. Perhaps someone ought to let Mr. O’Reilly know about this?

  4. Conservatives are so deeply clueless and ignorant that it keeps them from actually seeing how clueless and ignorant they are.

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