Refusing to report on Loofah Lad’s Litany of Lies™ for a 4th week in a row, Friday Fox Follies takes you via satellite to Headly Westerfield to report on his own combat experience:
Thank you, FFF. It was the ’90s. I was a News Writer for Citytv’s BreakfastTelevision [sic] in Toronto. Every morning I would watch the overnight satellite feeds for stories we might schedule. When the genocidal War in Rwanda broke out, that job got harder.
I had to watch every inch of video tape and rate the Rwanda footage: what was mild enough for BT’s audience, which included children; what might be shown on LunchTelevision [sic]; what was graphic, but not too graphic for the dinner hour CityPulse; what could be shown on CityPulse at 11, the most tolerant show of all; and, most importantly, what should never be aired under any circumstances because it was far too graphic for any audience.
I covered the War in Rwanda because I can still close my eyes and see that last category of images. What does Loofah Lad see when he closes his eyes? Money? Or, the War on Christmas?
Back to the studio, where a Friday Fox Follies is already in progress.
Are we back already? Thanks for that in-depth report, Headly. In other breaking Falafel News:
The Perils Of Protecting Bill O’Reilly
For Conservatives, It Nullifies Future Media Critiques
As always the Fox “News” viewers get the last word:
And, McDonald’s is the best restaurant in the whole wide world.
ISRAEL OVER COUNTRY: Imagine if you will we’re stuck back in the ’90s and President George H.W. Bush is about to launch Operation Desert Storm. Then the Democratic House Leader invites Saddam Hussein to give a speech trashing the president’s foreign policy.
This is not dissimilar to what Fox “News” is defending when Hannity Calls Obama ‘Neville Chamberlain’ And Netanyahu ‘Winston Churchill’ and Fox’s Hannity Show Pitches For Netanyahu’s Re-Election. The knee-jerk defense of Israel would be commendable, were it not for the reality: its continued existence is only important for the End Times.
Proving it’s not about being Fair and Balanced: Fox Interrupts Dems’ Reaction To Netanyahu In Order To Attack Them and Fox’s Ralph Peters: “If Israel Disappeared From The Face Of The Earth Tomorrow, Obama Would Not Shed A Tear.”
Even butter-won’t-melt-in-her-mouth Fox’s Dana Perino Claims Obama Has Made It So That Democrats No Longer Support Israel because “Obama Has Pulled The Democrats So Far Left That Now They Don’t Even Support Israel.” Of course, any criticism of Israel is tantamount to being an anti-Semitic, neo-Nazi.
Just ask The Tarantula.
ASKS THE TARANTULA: It was only a single item of many from last week’s Fox Bytes: Fox’s Tantaros Is Just Asking: “Is This White House Anti-Semitic?” Since then The Fox’s Andrea Tantaros Doubles Down on Charge that Obama Is ‘Anti-Semitic’. Not fully satisfied Andrea Tantaros Triples Down On ‘Just Asking’ If Obama Admin. Is Anti-Semitic. Then Fox’s Tantaros Defends Suggestion That Obama Administration Is Anti-Semitic because “Nobody Has Been Able … To Come Back And Say Why They’re Not.”
After the recent controversy maybe he’s looking to burnish his street cred, but O’Reilly to Andrea Tantaros: Obama Isn’t ‘Anti-Semitic.’ In other news: Hell freezes over.
After the recent controversy maybe he’s looking to burnish his street cred, but Bill O’Reilly: Ferguson Police Obviously ‘Targeting Blacks’ is not the expected Fox Ferguson Fact, which is more along the lines of Ferguson Report Sends Hannity Into A Frenzy of Race-baiting Hypocrisy, which sent Hal from North Bergen into orgasmic bliss.
Meanwhile, in Megyn Kelly’s White World of Privilege™, Darren Wilson rates right up there with Jesus and Santa Claus. Two stories that noted Kelly’s visceral reaction as a Fair and Balanced reporter were Megyn Kelly Loses It over Ferguson Report: ‘Hands Up, Don’t Shoot Did Not Happen!’ and Megyn Kelly Uses Ferguson Report To Take A White Rights Victory Lap. That’s instead of a deep exploration of the other DOJ report — Ferguson Police Tainted by Bias, Justice Department Says — which explains why such a perception could take hold in an instant. A case of the exception that proves the rule.
POT MEET KETTLE DEPARTMENT: O’Reilly: MSNBC ‘Collapsing’ Because of Its Constant Lecturing. However, to be fair, with O’Reilly it’s more like hectoring.
POP QUIZ: What was more surprising this week? That Saturday Night Live aired something edgy? Or that Tucker Carlson, the Fox host [said]: Comedy shows should mock ‘transgender bathrooms’, not ISIS. Even Fox’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck Did Not Like SNL’s ‘Insensitive’ ISIS Sketch. While Fox Hosts Outraged By ‘SNL’ Sketch Mocking The Islamic State Mother Jones makes The Case for Making Fun of ISIS. Too soon? Or too funny? Watch:
We report. You decry.
While former-carny Brad Stine is a hard act to follow, when Fox “News” found The Donald, it discovered a true comedian with less greasy hair. Furthermore, using Trump allows Fox “News” to outsource smears and save money: they needed a satellite feed for The Stine. Trump literally phones his segment in. But, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t take his comedy seriously because he gets off at least one belly laugh per segment. This week’s gem:
Now, that’s comedy!
Back when Elisabeth Hasselbanana went missing from the Curvy Couch for a period last year, this reporter suggested it might have fallen under the all-encompassing rubric of women’s problems. I started suggesting the exact same reason this week when fans of The Five started asking the musical question Where Is The Five’s Bob Beckel?
Mystery solved! Or is it? Buried in The Five’s Bob Beckel Tells Fans Where He’s Been was this little nugget:
Following a statement from Fox to Mediaite that said he has been out recovering from back surgery, Beckel confirmed that story on Twitter:
Thanks for the thousands tweets and five face book. I am in physical therapy on my back hope to be back soon. Send me tweet if u miss me
— Robert G Beckel (@RobertGBeckel) March 4, 2015
With no other official word from Beckel or the network, we are inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. Though, as we reported earlier, sources at Fox have indicated the explanation is not quite as simple as everyone is making it out to be. We will report more on this ongoing mystery as it develops.
I’m sticking with women’s problems.