Mike Huckabee Says He Has Magic Powers and Will Use Them to Kill You


Mike Huckabee stood on Mt. Carmel overlooking the site of the Bible’s (Revelation 16) future Battle of Armageddon, and said,

“I hope that, if called upon, I would be willing to stand all by myself [and] to call fire from Heaven and believe that God will answer even if there are hundreds and hundreds of false prophets on the other side.”

This is actually from the Gospel of Luke (9:54): “When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, ‘Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?'”

So Huckabee says he is willing to use his own magical ability to call down fire on all those people who refuse to share his religious beliefs. What he doesn’t mention is what came next in Luke:

“But Jesus turned and rebuked them.”

He hasn’t given thought, of course, to the possibility that he might be wrong about what his God wants. He certainly seems never to have heard of a guy named Jesus of Nazareth, who, besides eschewing fire from heaven, preached some very radical things about poor people and the evil nature of rich people, who, like Huckabee, have sold their souls to Satan.

Dude. Get a grip. I’m afraid the First Amendment won’t allow you to do that. It guarantees you have a right to debate your opponents. It does not guarantee your right to call down magical fire from heaven to kill them.

Drawing upon the old tale of Elijah facing down the prophets of Baal, an early example of monotheistic religious intolerance, Huckabee told listeners,

God wants us to stand in the gap. And sometimes my heart’s broken because, in our own country, a lot of pastors will stand in the pulpit but they won’t stand in the gap … We wonder why our culture has turned godless. We wonder why people don’t grow up understanding the fundamentals of natural law, the moral basis of our Judeo-Christian founding as a nation. Might it be that the problem is not the history classes in our high schools but the pulpits of America who have not taken what they even believe and applied it to the pulpit and to the people?

Oh geez, enough already. My heart breaks listening to dumb crackers like you.

If you’ve got a strong stomach, take a listen courtesy of Right Wing Watch:

I stand here on Mt. Carmel today, and I hope that, if called upon, I would be willing to stand all by myself [and] to call fire from Heaven and believe that God will answer even if there are hundreds and hundreds of false prophets on the other side.

You may stand here someday,” he said, and pointed to the valley where the future battle is supposed to be fought, “and be called upon to call the fire from Heaven. I hope you’re ready to believe that God will answer that prayer.

Boy, I don’t know about that. Bryan Fischer compared Ted Cruz to Elijah, after all, not Huckabee.

The real problem, however, is not who might or might not be Elijah (none of them, obviously) but the belief that somehow, because they believe something, these men think they have a right to coerce everybody else to that belief.

The Good News? Hardly. As scholar Gerd Lüdemann has pointed out, “How soon the Good News developed into Threatening News,” What happens, he asks, “if the offer of salvation was turned down?”

If you didn’t know the answer before, you do now: the fire of heaven gets called down on your head.

Those poor prophets of Baal. Baal never murdered or ordered to be murdered entire cities of people, as far as we know, unlike the God of the Old Testament, but he sure takes a beating even thousands of years later.

As I wrote of Huckabee back in 2011, “The fate of the 450 prophets of Baal will be the fate of all who make the wrong choice, indeed, who make any choice at all, since what is demanded of us is not choice, but obedience.”

“In reality,” as Lüdemann observes, “neither Christian theology nor the church can champion freedom of religion without betraying a considerable degree of hypocrisy.”

For tolerance requires an unconditional acknowledgment of the freedom and dignity of human beings without recourse to God. Yet the jealous Yahweh of the Bible, who demands unconditional obedience can never approve of such liberal affirmations.

What Huckabee is pointing to is not actually Armageddon, of course, at least, not the way people like him think. Armageddon is really just the Greek name for Tel Megiddo, which is the modern name for the ancient city of Megiddo, which used to guard a pass below Mt. Carmel that also just happened to be an important trade route.

There have been many battles there, as you can imagine, which have left the ancient town in ruins, but Huckabee is looking forward to an event described in Revelation 16: 12-16, a book more bizarre than Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Against the Book of Revelation, I summon as witness the United States Constitution.

Mike Huckabee might wish to read the United States Constitution, which forbids religious tests for office (Article VI, paragraph 3): “no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States,” but also forbids the establishment of a state religion (First Amendment).

You know, like the bastardized form of Christianity Huckabee insists be imposed on the country, assuming we survive being forced, at gunpoint, to watch David Barton lie about our history, that is (I personally prefer the prospect of heavenly fire to listening to Barton’s interminable lies).

Huckabee is a man who is not like the rest of us. He doesn’t understand or share our values, and our strong secular tradition of government.

This is, instead, a man who, assuming he had those magical powers he so passionately desires, just announced his willingness to kill everybody who doesn’t believe what he believes.

After Jesus rebuked his disciples for wanting to call down fire, the Gospel of Luke tells us (9:56): “Then he and his disciples went to another village.”

Just like that.

Go to another village, Mike. Just not here. Please.

49 Replies to “Mike Huckabee Says He Has Magic Powers and Will Use Them to Kill You”

  1. Too bad he didn’t visit Tel Megiddo. He would have seen the archaeological dig there explaining the real history of this area, but that (the truth) would conflict with his personal narrative. Christian history is often based on optional facts.

  2. Islam is not the threat to this country but radical fundamentalism Christianity is the threat.

    I don’t know why sane people in the media don’t call out these grifters and snake handlers for the idiocy they preach.

    As long as they have a platform, in the end they will destroy us all

  3. “I hope that, if called upon, I would be willing to stand all by myself [and] to call fire from Heaven and believe that God will answer even if there are hundreds and hundreds of false prophets on the other side.”

    I really not THAT OLD, and I can clearly remember a time that anyone who continually espoused this type of comment would have been locked up, not sought after as leader of the land.

    Thanks, Ronald Reagan.

  4. As usual, Huck adopts the typical radical Christian view “Loving Jesus for me, vengeful Jehovah for thee.”
    Grifters every damned one of them.

  5. Of course Jesus Christ rebuked them. When we compare the Religious Right with Jesus Christ, we see very different values.

  6. And God told him to sell the diabetes cure of cinnamon rolls. Hes a snake oil salesman, he’ll say anything for a buck. His Almighty is the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

  7. Ok Mikey!!! I Joseph P. Uhl half Vulcan Jedi Knight challenge you to a smite off!! You are no match for me!! Muuhaha!!<evil laugh… Like I said yesterday Conservatism is birth defect.

  8. “I have come to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were already stoked”.
    Jesus at Luke 12:49

    Jesus about himself at His great judgment at Matthew 25: “But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another… 41 “Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; 42 for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat…”

    As a Christian ordained minister, I can assure you Jesus spoke far more about the eternal torments of Hell for the many (on the wide path, not following Him) than anyone else in Scripture… so much for all the article/comments’ attempt to separate Jesus from that bad judging God of the Old Testament. By the way, Huckabee admires Elijah’s faith calling fire on the sacrifice, no fire on people.

  9. Really? I am not an ordained minister and I what I read of your fictional person he was more concerned with the least among us. And since Jesus was a Jew and Jews don’t believe in hell how the f@ck did you come up with that nonsense?

  10. Magic powers? Unless those powers involve making your sorry ass disappear, I don’t want to see them at all.

  11. Jesus also told his disciples not to preach to the gentiles, not to throw pearls before swine (gentiles) or give unto dogs (gentiles) what is holy. Hint: You’re a Gentile.

  12. There were Jews who believed at Christ’s time in a life after death resurrection and Hell (e.g. Pharisees’ school, become predominant in Judaism after 1st Century and was the predominant popular Jewish belief at the time e.g. being at ‘Abraham’s bosom’ v. a place of torment) and Jews who did not (Sadducees’ school). Similar with today, where many faithful Jews hold different acceptable views, with a form of punishment after this life being traditional Orthodox view. http://jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/6558-gehenna :

  13. Ask ANY Christian, Protestant/Catholic, liberal/conservative, and they will explain that Christ/Gospels clarified (and rest of New Testament underlines) multiple times in parables and statements that he was sent FIRST to Jews, but that upon their rejection the “Great Commision” stated by Christ in the Gospels was in effect to go to all nations. You don’t have to agree with this, but its a simple fact of all Christians’ belief and text, and even during that preliminary time Jesus indeed DID minister to Gentiles and hinted that time was coming soon in answer to Old Testament prophecy about Gentiles.

  14. Do Jews Believe in Hell?

    What Is the Jewish Belief on Hell?
    Dear Rabbi,

    Do Jews believe in Hell? I am not planning any trips there or anything, but I have heard conflicting reports about its existence.


    We do believe in a type of Hell, but not the one found in cartoons and joke books. Hell is not a punishment in the conventional sense; it is, in fact, the expression of a great kindness.

    The Jewish mystics described a spiritual place called “Gehinnom.” This is usually translated as “Hell,” but a better translation would be “the Supernal Washing Machine.” Because that’s exactly how it works. The way our soul is cleansed in Gehinnom is similar to the way our clothes are cleansed in a washing machine.

  15. Close… God loves his OWN GLORY so much he created Hell because he would be utterly unjust if he just winked and shrugged at the most reprehensible crime we all commit every day… not respecting/loving Him, an outrage we are callous and morally blind to and a punishment to which he saves some and absorbs their punishment (i.e. Christ) and mysteriously for others he allows them to ‘absorb’ that to uphold his own justice and glory (it’ll take those finite creatures an eternity to ‘absorb’ the justice of an infinite offense to infinite spiritual beauty and gloory). Christianity in a nutshell.

  16. Exactly dw! The battle of Armageddon has already been fought and the victors long dead yet the bible heads still refuse to acknowledge history because it interferes with their plan for mankind. Those who believe are easy to deceive.

  17. I don’t hear Huckabee talking about the camel, needle and kingdom story. Wonder what the Kock brothers and their GOP peons have to say about that?

  18. I was taught you should just try to be the best person that you can be, not cause harm or hurt any one else. Being humble or not banging your own drumb, and not to judge. Me thinks you failed misrebly. And god told me to tell you, you look like you ate another whole human again. Let my people be!!!!

  19. Steve, yes you may know that fictional book well but here’s a fact that YOUR Christian revised history will NEVER be accepted by your ilk. The Jews and Arabs got along fine until YOUR Christianity infected the middle east and spread to infect the entire world. Any form of belief in ethereal entities is just plain madness and a shows a profound weakness of mind. YOU have a “belief” system…we atheists have a KNOWLEDGE and FACT system!. Guess who wins every debate!?.. if you guessed yourself then you are as delusional as I always have known of your ilk. Put down that book of lies and join us who have a personal relationship with REALITY!!!

  20. The Great Commission was not originally part of the narrative. It doesn’t fit the narrative. It is a later edition and a justification, not an excuse. In the earliest writings, Jesus said no, and that should be enough.

    That James and the Jerusalem Community remained Jews and did not spread the Gospel to non-Jews is proof enough of Jesus’ intentions.

  21. Pat Robertson On Netanyahu: ‘Touch Not My Anointed’ Or Else!

    If this nation goes against Israel, God Almighty will go against this nation. It’s going to happen and it will hurt all of us so it’s not just those guys in Washington, it will be everybody and disaster will follow disaster upon this nation if we turn our backs on Israel. The bible talks about “touch not my anointed” and I tell you, you lay hands on God’s anointed and bad things happen to you.

    We will need a bigger boat for these idiots

  22. DJ – I have been “preaching” this for years. The danger to America is “Muricans” and their books of magic.

  23. I believe we should take his claims seriously. Luke 9:54 isn’t the original. Luke 9:54 reference an earlier example of calling fire.

    1 Kings 18:16-40.
    In which hundreds of false prophets of Baal are tasked by Elijah to prove their god is real by calling fire form heaven to light the bull given as offering. While they chant and pray and scream and hurt themselves, Elijah mocks them and their god. After all, if their god was real, he would respond, as Elijah’s god does when he tries it.

    So, Mike. Let’s have it. I’ll bring the bull, you bring the pillar of fire from god. Burn it up.

    I’ll also bring the throat-slitting knife. Because that’s the biblical fate for people whose god is proven false by failing to summon fire from heaven. You slit their throats at Kishon. Ready for the test of your life, Mike?

    Yeah, I didn’t think so.

  24. Why doesn’t Colin Powell or some other SANE person ever run for Republican POTUS? Are these lunatics just coming out of the wood work to make Jeb Bush and the family dynasty look like a better option by comparison?

  25. When Huckabee first made his statement about forcing Americans to listen to David Barton’s lectures, I sent a letter through his website stating that I had no intention of listening to Barton’s lies and inviting him to bring Barton and a gunslinger to my place if he wanted to try it. Needless to say, I received not reply. Anyone who wants to read the letter can find it here: http://singingwithcrows.blogspot.com/2011/03/compelled-to-listen-at-gunpoint.html

  26. Why no sane person run? Because republicans are insane
    A village can not reorganize village life to suit the village idiot.

  27. I’ve been trying to edit my post for the past two hours to correct “not” to “no.” I keep getting an error message. I’ve even tried rebooting my computer, which didn’t help. I give up. Please know that I tried.

  28. I consider myself spiritual but not religious. Any religion that kills others who do not believe as they do cannot be spiritual. There is no evil in God towards any being. The evil exists in those who use religion to take others hostage.

  29. More and more I am proud to be an atheist! The more I hear people talk about what good christens they are, and the hatred they spew, I realize I brought my children up correctly. I do know some very good christen people and I respect them and they know me and respect me. They have even said I am more christen than a lot of christians they know. But, they will not speak up for their religion. “sigh”
    And now I read I have to be on the look out for Phil Robertson.

  30. The force is fine and the phaser is quicker, he will run like a rabbit if you pull the trigger!

  31. Well, if what you espouse is true then this “Jesus” guy AND his dad are both bloodthirsty psychopaths, and so it naturally follows that you are too.

  32. I’m not a Huckabee fan, however this is some poor journalism on the part of Hrafnkell Haraldsson for twisting the context and perspective of what Mike had to say into something entirely different.

  33. JUDAS ISCARIOT is alive and preaching from the pulpit of many American Churches.
    Any “teacher” who diverts Christians into bowing to the Jewish Temple Priests is a JudasGoat “kissing the cheek” of Christ through HIS Flock, for pieces of silver or foul reasons.
    [Snipped for bigotry and irrelevancy]

  34. When Mike Huckabee was the top official in Arkansas, he consolidated the schools, thus completely eliminating most of the rural educational centers that had existed for many decades. His actions forced my youngest child to be bused over 100 miles a day just to attend a public school, even in extreme winter weather. This man is an idiot and most of us in Arkansas are glad to be rid of him.

  35. Well actually any ‘radical’ religious faction can be a danger. Whether Christian Muslim or Buddhist. If they pickup weapons to defend there ‘faith’ then they are dangerous.
    But on your point you are correct the United States immediate threat is not radical Islam but radical Christianity…

  36. I am glad that most Christianity outside the United States believe that the books of Daniel and Revelation where written by John of Patmos about Nero Caesar and not about the future at all.
    It is this type of reasoning that has injured the American church.

    *see – Millerite movement *

  37. Ooooo Kayyyy. And here I thought my days of acid trips and peyote revelations was some strange ass shit.

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