Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert Latches Onto Loopy Jade Helm Conspiracy Theory

gohmert caricature

Republican Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-TX) issued a statement on Tuesday that gives voice to the bizarre Jade Helm 15 conspiracy theory. The theory presumes that military training exercises being conducted in Texas are a prelude to the U.S government declaring martial law in the Lone Star state.


Prominent GOP elected officials, including Texas Governor Greg Abbott and U.S. Senators Rand Paul (R-KY) and Ted Cruz (R-TX), have already entertained the theory. However, Gohmert’s statement on Tuesday surpasses the remarks of any previous public official in latching onto the kooky idea.

Gohmert’s statement started by announcing:


Over the past few weeks, my office has been inundated with calls referring to the Jade Helm 15 military exercise scheduled to take place between July 15 and September 15, 2015. This military practice has some concerned that the U.S. Army is preparing for modern-day martial law.

Certainly, I can understand these concerns. When leaders within the current administration believe that major threats to the country include those who support the Constitution, are military veterans, or even ‘cling to guns or religion,’ patriotic Americans have reason to be concerned. We have seen people working in this administration use their government positions to persecute people with conservative beliefs in God, country, and notions such as honor and self-reliance. Because of the contempt and antipathy for the true patriots or even Christian saints persecuted for their Christian beliefs, it is no surprise that those who have experienced or noticed such persecution are legitimately suspicious.

The Congressman continued by arguing:

Once I observed the map depicting ‘hostile,’ ‘permissive,’ and ‘uncertain’ states and locations, I was rather appalled that the hostile areas amazingly have a Republican majority, ‘cling to their guns and religion,’ and believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution. When the federal government begins, even in practice, games or exercises, to consider any U.S. city or state in ‘hostile’ control and trying to retake it, the message becomes extremely calloused and suspicious.

Then Gohmert concluded with the zinger:

…the tone of the exercise needs to be completely revamped so the federal government is not intentionally practicing war against its own states.

Sadly, instead of working to calm the unfounded paranoia of his constituents, Congressman Gohmert has joined them in their delusions. Worse yet he has given the conspiracy theory added legitimacy by using his congressional office as a propaganda outlet for the lunatic fringe.

Republican politicians like Gohmert have long exploited paranoid fears about President Barack Obama to rally the Tea Party base in order to win elections. Cynical politicians know that fear motivates voters. However, when that fear gets out of hand, to the point where constituents falsely believe they are under imminent threat of facing martial law or civil war, politicians have a responsibility to quell the rumors of war. Instead, Congressman Louie Gohmert has decided to fan the flames of delusion. The responsible voices in the Republican Party need to put a lid on this kind of collective insanity. However, because the “responsible voices” in the GOP feel they too must court right-wing voters, they are nowhere to be found.

44 Replies to “Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert Latches Onto Loopy Jade Helm Conspiracy Theory”

  1. Yea Lou gotta screw loose; he wants all green giant vegetables removed stores as they are threatening to invade Texasses by planting bean plants every 10 ft so millions of giants can take over texas.

  2. All right, we confess. We’re after your precious bodily fluids, asparagus, and cantaloupes.

    Waiting (won’t be long) for the rest of the TX R delegation to chime in with even crazier delusions. I will admit, though, that Loopy Louie just got a huge jump on the competition.

  3. I would so like the “Support our Troops” people to rise up and bash this goober. What a massive insult to the people they’d love to send to die but cannot tolerate training.

    Someone on Twitter said the best thing to do would be to pull the exercise out and then to remove ALL US military installations from Texas. That’ll show ’em. Their economy would collapse.

  4. Oh, were it only true! Take back Texas and Kansas and Wisconsin, Arizona, Ohio and Michigan. Return the country to some semblance of law and order, a respect for the true Constitutional rights of all of us, not just select Republican males with a microphone and a million bucks offshore, and stop this endless Obama bashing and fear-mongering. What? Do the gun makers need more sales? Are ammo sales down? Do the camo clothes makers and Beck’s ‘Survival kit” assemblers need cash? This is sick, deluded, idiocy. All these guys should be rounded up and sent to the fake FEMA camps in Minnesota. I’m sure Michele Bachman can show them the way.

  5. This guy is definite proof that a psychological test should be given to anybody running for public office. He has never made any sense every time he opens his pie hole.

  6. After awhile, there won’t be anyone left in Texas but the loonies as the sane people leave as soon as possible. At that point,the religious right will have a ghetto state where they can be happy happy. We don’t need any stinking FEMA camp, Texas is busy creating their own version.

    TIP: Invest in concertina wire producers. We’ll have to have some way of keeping them in their ghetto.

  7. I know I’m not the only one here that finds it shameful that anyone would believe in such a crackpot insane theory that makes no sense whatsoever.

    What doesn’t shock me is that Loopy Louie is buying into it. The guy has had a screw loose since coming to Congress.

  8. i know im not the only one who thinks this. but texas needs to go. if not for that boil on the ass of america, this country would be light years ahead. the other small southern states, dont have the juice that texas politicians do. without gerrymandering, and voter suppression, the gop regressive fascist koch heads would be a lanced boil… ok, austin is cool during sxsw, and galveston is a eclectic place, but that aint the cowjerkoffs that i encounter all the time that are like loooweee here….

    good night.

  9. I was just reading the comments over at “The Hill” and can’t believe how many delusional people believe our government is out to get them. These folks claim they love our military and support them, but don’t trust the CIC. You know, that black Kenyan Muslim in their White House. I can’t stop facepalming. These people need mental health assistance. This blogger had a hilarious response to this nonsense: http://www.stonekettle.com/2015/05/jade-helm-insanity-that-ate-texas.html?spref=fb

  10. With apologies to the great Mel Brooks,

    You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

  11. It was just a matter of time before Louie chimed in. What ever happened to the big buildings with the padded rooms that these people would normally reside in, drooling from the mouth. Because of a lack of these asylums, the inmates have voted into office their craziest inmates.

  12. I love Stonekettle and Juanita Jean’s Beauty shop. They keep me a little saner and keeps me from kicking the dogs or cussing online. Or as my Daddy used to say, showing my ass in public, it went without saying that was the rule at home too.
    Some days it is just really hard.

  13. The GOP is so desperate to round up voters that since OBAMA took office their NEVER ENDING theme is “THE NIG@ER THE WHITEHOUSE IS COMING FOR US LILY WHITE AMERICANS!!” the country is so SCREWED UP with racism!! it’s so DEEPLY woven in this country!! The GOP uses this HATE to keep the DEEPLY MENTALLY ILL in constant FEAR!! this country USE TO ignore the CRAZY PEOPLE the tin foil crowd! but the GOP doesn’t work for the american public! they don’t offer the american public ANYTHING! but PAIN and FEAR! the GOP probably wouldn’t use this tactic if we had a caucasian president BUT since he black, ANYTHING GOES!! ANYTHING! and for YOU crazy republican internet TROLLS, the WORLD see’s whats going on in the USA! and they’re DISGUSTED!! they HATE US or PITTY US! this empire is DEEPLY flawed! and the corporations and the GOP are laughing their ASSES OFF at how EASILY the CRAZY’s among us are front roll and center with microphone firmly in hand!!! FUX NEWS

  14. BTW of course TEXASS would be our main candidate for CRAZY A$S KKK theories! but through the grapevine, I’m hearing texasastan could turn BLUE by 2020, I’m NOT holding my breath on that, I’m thinking 2028, ya gotta let that generation of REDNECK louie gohmert wanna be’s finally DIES off!!

  15. Texas wants to leave the union so bad, maybe we should just proactively kick them out. Remove their representatives and senators from office. Cut off all government funding. Give em what they want and see how long they last. Maybe they could form a union with Mexico! They would have to tear down the wall but I guess that would solve their immigration problem. They might have an emigration problem if there are any sane people in that state that would want to leave.

    But at least we wouldn’t have to listen to Ted Cruz’ idiocy any longer.

  16. Could it just possibly be that the military is conducting this exercise because there are no fewer than 15 military bases in Texas? No, that would be far too logical.

  17. These slow learning people believe the Gov. is coming to take over their country? with Walmart? Really?? Walmart?? the business and owners who only think of money? Wouldn’t Walmart be stupid to lock up all their customers?

  18. Trigger Happy Texan Birth Control Poster Children; supposedly True Christians one and all.

    I’m still trying to wrap my mind over the notion that Jesus would need a 100 round clip for his assault rifle.

  19. And more importantly, where are all those good citizens of Texas captured in Jade Helm 1 through 14 being held?

    Always amazed by the cognitive dissonance of wingnuts who on the one hand claim government can’t accomplish anything is now worried they’re going to walk away with an entire state.

  20. You can thank St. Ronnie for the lack of padded room. He closed them all down and now we are suffering the consequences as all the loonies have migrated to the GOP!

  21. I hope none of those paranoid beer bellies makes the mistake of stumbling in on the training! Can you imagine a big gutted, huge belt buckle brandishing a AR15 in the middle of that? My money is on the training those soldiers have verses the delusions the beer guts have! Seriously, I hope no one gets hurt or anything like that, but this is getting scary with the paranoia and total lack of responsibility the Redumicans have in spreading rumor and causing panic among a crazy base who carries weapons and a lot of hatred.

  22. Wal Fart doesn’t need any help in taking over Texas! Hell, they have taken over the entire country and crushed all competition and the little man!

  23. Would anyone object to Texas secession? Let’s just remove all federal facilities, including all those highly suspect military bases, end all federal programs in Texas, stop all Social Security, Medicare, Highway, Education and Environmental funding and require passports and visas for Texans, who would then be illegal aliens in our country without proper documentation. Let’s impose appropriate tariffs on Texas goods starting with oil and beef. Let’s establish strong border security to keep drugs coming up through Texas, in Texas, and out of the U.S. Also I would suggest a massive drone, CIA and FBI intelligence and surveillance effort to keep an eye on the new, full-fledged, Texas military who, under the present political leadership in Texas, may be more in line with the crazies in North Korea than the political leadership in the U.S.. Your move Texas…….your move!

  24. Tessa – You beat me to it. Good to know that I am not the only person who remembers the closing of mental health hospitals and the many people who were let out onto the streets.

  25. Well I for one have been demanding that Texas Secede for years. That comes about because I got to ‘enjoy’ living and working in Baja Oklahoma for far too long.

    Remove all of the U.S. Government installations (and subsequent U.S. Government payrolls) and the Texas economy would tank. Then Mexico would have free rein in taking back the lands that Texas stole from them many moons ago.

    As a result in ‘defending’ themselves, Texas would discover just how much they owe the rest of U.S. (us).

  26. I come from a long line of Texans, but these last 25 -30 years have just about done me in. Just so you know, not ALL Texans support Goofy Gohmert, Crazy Cruz, Adjective-Deleted Abbott, and their ilk. I am so embarrassed by what my state is doing and saying that I’m thinking of framing my South Carolina birth certificate. (Daddy was stationed there in the Navy; otherwise, it would be have been a Texas birth certificate.)

    On behalf of my state, I apologize to you all and pledge to work hard campaigning for anyone who will run against these Is and As (as my mama says instead of Idiots and Assholes). Please let me know beforehand that you are closing the borders so I can have time to get out. Otherwise, I will stay and try to grow more thumbs to put in the holes in the dikes.[WINK]

  27. First Obama took away all their guns and bullets just as the GOP Tea Party and the NRA predicted!! Now he is gonna invade them and lock them up in Walmart. I’ll bet there will be a special department just for the Gays. How could any Redneck Christian not believe this? The world is surely coming to an end ……. in Texas. Praise the Lord.

  28. https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/move-all-military-bases-and-personnel-state-texas

    We Petition the Obama Administration To…

    Move all military bases and personnel from the State of Texas.

    We Petition the Obama Administration To move all military bases and personnel from the State of Texas.

    Texas Governor Greg Abbott’s actions have potentially placed our military personnel and their families in danger.

    The actions of Texas governor Greg Abbott demonstrates that that state does not deserve to continue reap the economic benefits of our military bases in that state.

    Published Date: May 06, 2015

  29. Fear is the same methodology used by terrorist groups such as Al Qaeda, ISIS and Boko Haram.


  30. The Stonekettle rant said it better than I ever could. I couldn’t stop laughing. Obama’s “Magic Negro Ray of Chocolate Mojo” had me spewing my drink all over the computer monitor. The entire Republican party has jumped on the crazy train. It’s both sad and concerning. The blogger was correct in saying that “Paranoia is a mental illness, not a superpower.”

  31. This is what happens when you consistently go for the lowest of the low, the most corrupt, the most easily influenced, the one with the nastier, uglier ideas, the one who accepts the money, and has long forgotten (if he ever knew) the meaning of public service. Texas has elected a battery of extremist RW embarrassments who do little beyond servicing extremist RW idiocy. ONE guy had the chutzpah to send the governor a letter to try to reign in the insanity, and, as is the expected response to EVERY such request from outside the insanity bubble, the governor chose to double-down on the demonstrably stupid.

    That’s just what they do.

    That’s how we go from “Profiles in Courage” to “Pandering to Paranoid Idjits.”

  32. “The responsible voices in the Republican Party need to put a lid on this kind of collective insanity. However, because the “responsible voices” in the GOP feel they too must court right-wing voters, they are nowhere to be found.”

    There are no responsible voices left in the Republican party. They were all excoriated as RINOs and run out of the party. All that’s left are the amoral and the delusional, sad to say.

  33. There used to be a site called something like “dirty republicans tricks” and it had massive data collected over decades.

    They attacked Kerry with the swift boat relentlessly. They accused the Clintons of murdering their friend. They had countless expensive investigations to try to find dirt on them and there was even an investigation on the Clinton cat, Socks, to find out if the public paid for toy mice. No joke. History shows they attack all dems. Hence the term Hillary used long ago – the vast right wing conspiracy – that was relentless against dems.

    Politics is a sewer and was always filled with lies and smears.

  34. They need to stop this don’t let this go any farther, I know it comes right down from our idiot president trying to scare everyone lets show this turkey and call off his miss-use of our military!!!! obama must want total chaos about right some that don’t know about all this BS might get guns, knives…. and the military and civilians could start killing each other this is a very dumb and foolish exercise to do on our own people in there cities it could end very badly.

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