Lindsey Graham Says Rand Paul Nomination Would Put Him Into a Coma

Iraq War liar Lindsey Graham apparently abhors Rand Paul. So much so that on Sunday’s Face the Nation, he actually ranked Paul below Obama on foreign affairs.

“I think everybody on our side, except maybe Rand Paul, could do better” than Obama, he said, in getting a deal with Iran.

Ouch. Think about how much Republicans hate Obama and his Iran deal, and you get an idea of the esteem in which Graham holds Paul.

But then, a lot of Republicans hate Paul right now. Fine. We get that. But then on Tuesday, appearing on Good Morning America, Graham said in response to the possibility of Paul’s nomination,

“Well, when I came out of my coma, I would support Rand Paul. I mean, it would be devastating, I think, for our party to nominate rand Paul as our nominee, on national security in particular, but if he wins the primary process, I will support him. But that has very little chance of happening in my view.”

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Probably about as much chance as Graham himself has of being nominated. He’s the ninth Republican to enter the presidential race, and he probably won’t be the last.

And devastating? Is there any candidate who would not be devastating to the hopes of the GOP in 2016?

So the Republican primaries should be interesting. If they actually dare televise their debates – if they have debates – we will see why none of these people should be allowed within a continent of the White House.

Graham says he’s the foreign policy guy, which is kind of scary, when you think about some of his previous utterances in that area. I mean, this is the guy who has said he would quell ISIL by killing people for even thinking about joining the terrorist group.

This ranks right up there with Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s plan to treat them like a recalcitrant labor union.

Graham claimed on Monday, when he announced his presidential fantasy,

“I’ve got one simple message: I have more experience with our national security than any other candidate in the race. That includes you, Hillary.”

The Senator from South Carolina signed Tom Cotton’s treasonous letter to Iran too, so he is also vastly more experienced in betraying his country than the former First Lady, Senator from New York, and Secretary of State.

I don’t know…I prefer a person who operates within our shared reality. Graham, notably, called reality “crap” when the House Benghazi Report didn’t say what he wanted it to say. And then there was the little episode where Graham, who insists we need some more Iraq War, hysterically claimed ISIL was going to invade the United States and kill us all.

Give me a mature adult any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Oh, and somebody who doesn’t hide from imaginary enemies. When ISIL captured Palmyra, it was Palmyra, Syria, not Palmyra Drive, in South Carolina.

Breathe, Lindsey.

Let’s face it, Graham is lagging behind the Bubonic Plague right now in popularity, and he has about as much chance of being president as rapist-friendly Mike Huckabee after lamenting he didn’t get a chance to shower with the girls in high school.

But he has a dream, and he has convinced himself that it can come true. Maybe he can get Sarah Palin to help him.

[I’m] just going to have to show up in New Hampshire and Iowa and South Carolina and sell the idea that I am the most experienced. I’ve been to Iraq and Afghanistan well over 30 times; 33 years in the Air Force has taught me well about how our military works.

He may know how the military works, but he clearly doesn’t know when the military should be put to work. If you want endless war, this is your guy. Well, one of your guys. There is a lot of endless war dreaming going on in the GOP.

I would suggest Graham just go into coma-mode and wait there while all this plays out. We’ll miss out on some comedy gold, sure, but it’s not like he is going to add anything meaningful to the discourse even if he is there. He hasn’t so far.

And after all, we’ll always have that rapey friend of pedophiles, Huck, and his puerile shower fantasies to sustain us.

24 Replies to “Lindsey Graham Says Rand Paul Nomination Would Put Him Into a Coma”

  1. “Well, when I came out of my coma, I would support Rand Paul.”
    He really does have a fainting couch? Huh. Who knew?

  2. imagine, if you will, Ms Lindsey with the vapors in the White House and consulting with her Sec of Defense… John McCain…

    hard ons all the way around when they dispatch the military…

    fade out to the Twilight Zone…

  3. Jon Stewart, the “go to” guy for real news has been telling us all along.
    Am I the only one that sees it as passing strange the only man that tells us as much of the truth as possible and Steven Colbert the other real news guy. Are both going off the air when we need them most?

  4. Thinking about it if the coma was permanent it might be worth watching Paul perform for the crowds. He’s not a very good actor and I don’t think he has time to get better even with heavy coaching. We have seen stupid paired with bad acting when Bush was pretending to be president.

  5. “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” –Yoda, Jedi Grand Master

  6. in 2003 we invaded the wrong country looking for bin laden. this is the first time in our history we did so. why would we ever want to elect somebody who will never admit we made a mistake? and I don’t really see anybody on the gop side who will admit we made a mistake.

    I say the more the merrier for their primary. let them spend each other into oblivion. I hope they all go as bankrupt on money as they are on ideas.

  7. Their collective complete lack of an ability for self-introspection, is one of the biggest stumbling blocks for my voting for ANY Republican.

    I am forgiving and understanding of human nature. The few tidbits of wisdom in the Bible include: Pride Goeth Before a Fall.

  8. He needs a better campaign slogan too. AAAUUUGGGHHH!!! We’re all gonna DIE!!! just isn’t going to cut it.

  9. John Stewart said it best last night about the Republican ability to learn…

    “learning curves are for pussies”

  10. The ONLY reason to consider supporting Rand. Of course, like Rush’s promise to move to Costa Rica, can’t trust GOP promises.

  11. If he’s running for President, doesn’t it mean he can’t do his warmongering act on the Sunday gasbag shows any more?

  12. And Ms. Butchmeup wants to double down on this clusterfuk

    U.S. Shoots Itself In the Foot By Accidentally Arming ISIS
    2,300 Humvee armored vehicles @ $70,000 per copy. Total: $16 million
    40 M1A1 Abram tanks @ $4.3 million per copy. Total: $172 million
    52 M198 Howitzer mobile gun systems @ $527,337 per copy. Total: $2.7 million
    74,000 Army machine guns @ $4,000 per copy. Total: $29 million

    The grand total comes to $219.7 million,

  13. Jeffrey, the bush administration never claimed we invaded Iraq to look for Osama bin Laden; they knew Osama was in eastern Afghanistan or the Pakistan tribal areas near the Afghanistan border. Remember Tora Bora?

    The bush people claimed we invaded Iraq because Saddam possessed “weapons of mass destruction”. Of course the bush people were wrong about that as they were wrong about everything. But it wasn’t “faulty intelligence” as they claimed . . . . it was faulty lies to the American people and those who are easily fooled, AKA republicans.

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