Ted Cruz Releases Video Of Himself Cooking Bacon With A Machine Gun

ted cruz
In his ongoing quest to stay relevant in a GOP race where Donald Trump has sucked up most of the political oxygen on the far right, Ted Cruz has released a video of himself cooking bacon with a machine gun. The short video, which appears on IJReview’s web site shows Cruz wrapping bacon around the barrel of a machine gun, covering it with aluminum foil, and then firing several rounds off, until the bacon is cooked to a crisp.

Cruz kicks off the video by proudly proclaiming:


 Of course, in Texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks.

After emptying four magazines full of bullets he peels the cooked bacon off the barrel of his gun and then bites into it, giggling as he says “mmm…machine gun bacon” and grins at the camera.

Now, obviously from a public policy standpoint, how Ted Cruz chooses to cook his bacon isn’t particularly important. However, the stunt nevertheless demonstrates a cavalier attitude towards guns that seems both sophomoric and dangerous.


Most Americans, and most Texans, cook bacon in a frying pan, presumably to minimize the risk of a stray bullet hitting somebody else in the household. Senator Cruz may fancy himself some kind of 21st century second amendment MacGyver who can turn a machine gun into a makeshift frying pan in a breakfast emergency. However, to most sane people, cooking bacon with a machine gun is needlessly risky. In addition to being unsafe it seems profoundly juvenile.

Sure, at some level we understand Ted Cruz just likes to fire a deadly weapon because it enhances his sense of manhood, but he should realize he is running to be President of the United States, not to be the head of a Junior High School boys clique. Maybe on the far right, nothing says “responsible gun owner” or “leader of the free world” like cooking your breakfast by firing off a machine gun.


However, for the Americans who are on the left, in the center, and on the moderate right, Cruz’s video only confirms that the GOP hopeful is not a serious candidate for President. He can cook his bacon any way he likes, but we don’t need him serving breakfast anywhere near the White House.


39 Replies to “Ted Cruz Releases Video Of Himself Cooking Bacon With A Machine Gun”

  1. For what he’s spending on ammunition, this seems like a rather expensive and impractical method of cooking one strip of bacon. If the gun nuts keep egging him on, his campaign is definitely gonna be toast.

  2. I watched the video, he’s a freaking idiot. How can anyone vote for a clown like that? I read some of the comments and I am just shaking my head in disbelief. He doesn’t belong anywhere near the White House, and he shouldn’t even be in the Senate, he is not fit mentally for the job.

  3. What a pathetic little fraud.

    I live in Texas and believe me when I say that he’s the only dumb ass that I have ever heard of that “cooks bacon that way”…

    This guy would sell out his mother for 1 lousy vote.

  4. Remember, guns don’t kill your appetite for bacon … idiotic POTUS wannabes do.

    By the way, can someone please explain how a semi-automatic rifle can be accurately described as a “machine gun”?
    Does Teddy expect the card-carrying NRA crowd to be impressed with this clueless little stunt?

  5. That might be what it takes for him to get 1 lousy vote now that Trump has made the angries forget that Cruz exists.

  6. Two takeaways from Cruz’s loony ad:

    [1] THIS is what desperation to make the debate cutoff looks like

    [2] This PROVES he’s unfit to be President

  7. Oooooohhhhhh!

    My Nipples Explode with Delight!
    How Manly! Betcha Chuck Norris never thought of that!


    The man obviously didn’t think of it, but he gave the notion a green light.


  8. Hmmmmm….How does one show that they are quite capable of wreaking death and havoc without looking like a homicidal maniac?

  9. Now we will see the hillbillies and goobers try to emulate this fool. Just hope they are smart enough to go outdoors.

  10. I watched Rachel Maddow last night and she revealed it was not even a machine gun he used but an AR15. If anyone watched the video, you can tell by the way he fired the gun one shot at a time unlike machine gun where you have continuous firing without having to pull the trigger over and over again. In trying to be “tough” and totally an asshat, he came across as an absolute fool pandering to the gun lovers. It was totally bizarre, and totally Ted Cruz.

  11. I’d say just not fit mentally period! Is there one word that describes Cruz completely? That job takes a whole realm of adjectives.

  12. gsb, I would say that EVERY person who voted for Turd Cruz is also not mentally fit. Texas, the Lone Brain Cell State.

  13. With the array of really unfit people on the gop/tp side running for the WH, isn’t it time to have mental competency tests for these clowns? John McCain opened the door, wide, for these low I.Q, people to delude themselves into thinking they could be president, by bringing the Alaskan dingbat PayMe onto the national stage. After W, she was really the icing on the cake when it came to racism, mental deficiency, lies and grifting. McCain should be apologizing to the country for the state of this ridiculous group of idiots. Making the US a laughingstock worldwide. President Obama stands head and shoulders above every last one of them. Not a single one could fill his shoes.

  14. Maybe he meant to sat Canada? When will someone demand to see his birth certificate, the long form? Is he STILL Canadian?

  15. The republicans really set the bar LOW, don’t they? Wasn’t the last president from Texas disasterous enough for these people?No more Bush, no more Texans either by way of Kennebunkport or Canada. Maybe Scotty Walker could top this by cooking a bratwurst with a gun?

  16. Some one of these candidates is going to shoot a turkey, giving the shoppers in Publix a heart attack.

  17. When I grew up, the shooting sports were all about discipline, training and responsibility. Now it seems like it’s been taken over by a bunch of children who delight in spraying bullets all over the place, making noise, and posturing like B-movie heroes. Cruz should be ashamed at encouraging this behavior with his example.

  18. Any GOP wants to impress me with a weapon, show me your service records, show me you are willing to send your own kids to the next war to fight for your contributors like big oil, otherwise they are spineless cowards!

  19. Paul uses a chainsaw. Cruz uses a machine gun. Is this a political campaign, or the outtakes from ‘America’s got Talent?’

  20. There should be a caption on the picture above in this article:

    “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!” A la Scarface (the movie with Al Pacino)

  21. Bizarre was the first word that came to my mind. What the hell is going out out there? Have these people completely lost their minds? I can’t imagine what the rest of the world must think about us.

  22. Next, he will take off his shirt and ride a Texas horse bareback – to be macho showy, like Putin.
    Another wannabe cowboy. Image of the Rambo, gun loving crazy. Image of your wannabe President frying bacon with an Ar-15. Nice. {{Snark}}

  23. …my Dad was an Army Vet…he took me to a place where you could rent semi-auto guns to full auto…
    …he trained me on a BAR, .50 cal pedestal mounted machine gun, an UZI…even a Thompson…
    …primary lesson; make sure you know where every round goes…so forget “Rock n Roll”; train your finger to never tighten completely,fire a small burst at a time…other you’re just throwing lead through the sky…
    …three visits and I could play “Pop goes the Weasel” on any of those weapons…

    {{{this came in handy once…aboard the New Jersey a Marine gunny sergeant challenged me to shoot a garbage bag floating at about 50 yards…2 bursts found the range; and next burst sent the garbage to Davy Jones…the Sergeant collected more than 200 bucks from a mostly Marine betting pool…and next liberty port bought me a 30 year old bottle o’ Scotch; and helped me drink it}}}
    …The whole damned Republican Potty is corrupt, wannabe Fascists…

  24. US Troops Attacked in Jade Helm Exercises in Mississippi by Extremist Gunfire; No Injuries

    HATTIESBURG, Miss. (AP) — A sheriff in Mississippi says authorities are searching for two men who fired gunshots from a vehicle at soldiers at a military facility. No injuries were reported.
    Perry County Sheriff Jimmy Dale Smith tells WDAM-TV (http://bit.ly/…) that the shots were fired just after noon Tuesday. The soldiers were training at Camp Shelby Joint Forces Training Center in Hattiesburg.

    U.S. Special Forces Command designated Camp Shelby as one of the sites where a multi-state military training exercise, “Jade Helm 15”, was expected to take place, according to The Army Times.

  25. Methinks their ditching a Confederate Flag will not help them much in their flight.

    One thing that the Ammosexuals of America never seem to get through their overly thickened skulls: That their ‘opponents’ can call in air support.

  26. Every time I see him referred to as “Bobby”, it makes me angry. His name is Piyush. Apparently he is ashamed of his given name. I don’t know if he legally changed his name or not but he obviously wants to deny his Indian heritage by calling himself “Bobby”. He is of east Indian heritage and should be proud of it. He is NOT, which should tell everyone what kind of person he really is. He wants to be white so badly that even his official photo is made to look like a white person. Anyone that ashamed of who he really is, should not ever be considered to represent a diverse country such as ours.

  27. Agree JOSEPH but I do believe you and I have only our votes to fight with. This next election will be the test, does our country survive or do we go down as the thugs wish? After watching all the Clowns, in the rethug party, panting for the Koch’s money, our Dem’s had better get out and vote in mass. If we don’t, our country will be like the Roman Empire, & the Russian’s. fall fast and hard. The thugs exceptionlism will mean zero.

  28. How do you cook bacon with a machine gun?? No, seriously… this makes no sense whatsoever.

    Then again, it’s the right… to them, sense is for weak liberals who hate ‘Merica.

  29. …you should see the barrel of an UZI while wearing Infra-Red Goggles…WHITE HOT!!! And that’s firing short bursts!!!
    …you remember some time ago, there was the short lived hubbub about a little girl who shot her instructor because he was in precisely the WRONG place while teaching her…that’s how I knew what the UZIs firing characteristics were…

  30. Once again, Don Quixote Cruz is busy charging the windmills in the sky rather than accomplish anything meaningful.

  31. Ted “The Sludge” Tries AGAIN for a power-chord, breaks a string.

    That is NOT a machine gun.

    And Cruz is still an idiot.

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