Ted Cruz Releases Video Of Himself Cooking Bacon With A Machine Gun

In his ongoing quest to stay relevant in a GOP race where Donald Trump has sucked up most of the political oxygen on the far right, Ted Cruz has released a video of himself cooking bacon with a machine gun. The short video, which appears on IJReview’s web site shows Cruz wrapping bacon around the barrel of a machine gun, covering it with aluminum foil, and then firing several rounds off, until the bacon is cooked to a crisp.

Cruz kicks off the video by proudly proclaiming:

 Of course, in Texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks.

After emptying four magazines full of bullets he peels the cooked bacon off the barrel of his gun and then bites into it, giggling as he says “mmm…machine gun bacon” and grins at the camera.

Now, obviously from a public policy standpoint, how Ted Cruz chooses to cook his bacon isn’t particularly important. However, the stunt nevertheless demonstrates a cavalier attitude towards guns that seems both sophomoric and dangerous.

Most Americans, and most Texans, cook bacon in a frying pan, presumably to minimize the risk of a stray bullet hitting somebody else in the household. Senator Cruz may fancy himself some kind of 21st century second amendment MacGyver who can turn a machine gun into a makeshift frying pan in a breakfast emergency. However, to most sane people, cooking bacon with a machine gun is needlessly risky. In addition to being unsafe it seems profoundly juvenile.

Sure, at some level we understand Ted Cruz just likes to fire a deadly weapon because it enhances his sense of manhood, but he should realize he is running to be President of the United States, not to be the head of a Junior High School boys clique. Maybe on the far right, nothing says “responsible gun owner” or “leader of the free world” like cooking your breakfast by firing off a machine gun.

However, for the Americans who are on the left, in the center, and on the moderate right, Cruz’s video only confirms that the GOP hopeful is not a serious candidate for President. He can cook his bacon any way he likes, but we don’t need him serving breakfast anywhere near the White House.

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