Donald Trump Declares War on the War on Christmas

Last updated on July 17th, 2023 at 06:11 pm

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It is clear now what sort of unholy deal was made between Fox News and Donald Trump after the Megyn Kelly “blood wherever” fiasco that sent her on an unexpected vacation.

Donald Trump promises to ignore real problems in favor of more fake problems, and will go out of his way to use the word “Christmas” as he sees beyond liberty and assaults stuff having to do with that.

Near as I can figure, that’s what he said.

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That’s right. Donald Trump has declared war on the War on Christmas. Because he’s a “big believer in the Bible.” Not just a believer. But a BIG believer. Because, you know, Donald Trump.

On Friday, he told Alabama radio host Cliff Sims on Yellowhammer Radio,

I’m a big believer in the Bible. And you know when I see really beyond liberty there’s an assault on anything having to do with Christianity. They don’t want to use the word ‘Christmas’ anymore – department stores. There’s always lawsuits and unfortunately a lot of those lawsuits are won by the other side. I will assault that. I will go so strongly against so many of the things when they take away the word Christmas…Absolutely there’s an assault on Christianity and we’re gonna reverse that big league.

He concluded, ominously, atheists, so look out: “I go out of my way to use the word Christmas.”

You have to wonder if his new “Big Bible Christmas” approach will be directed at Fox News itself in the coming months where they will follow up their rhetoric about the refusal of people to use the word Christmas by wishing us all Happy Holidays:

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But that can wait.

And oh, by the way, Not only has he always been pro-life, Trump tells us (it’s just that nobody ever bothered to ask), but “Go Second Amendment!” and “Obama is a disaster!”

Will a Confederate battle flag waving over Trump Tower be next? Can we expect New York City to turn into his own private Mordor?

Oh, our Donald is crossing his T’s and dotting his i’s and making out a list and checking it twice. The only people he’s left off it are people who aren’t angry white fake-Christians. Which is about 90 percent of us.

And here I thought the idea was to get as many votes as possible when you ran for president.

No word on whether Trump plans to erect a wall around Christmas and make atheists pay for it.



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