Not So Smooth Criminal: Indicted Rick Perry Drops Out Of White House Race

Rick Perry

Indicted former Texas Gov. Rick Perry has announced that he is suspending his 2016 presidential campaign and dropping out of the race for the Republican nomination.

In a speech that he will deliver tonight, Perry will say that he is dropping out due to lack of money and staff, “That is why today I am suspending my campaign for the presidency of the United States.”

Perry was doomed from the start. He was never able to recover from his spectacular flameout when he ran for the 2012 Republican nomination. Rick Perry has been a walking punchline since he couldn’t remember the name of the Department of Energy during a Republican debate in 2011.

Rick Perry is still facing a felony abuse of power count in Texas, and it has always been more likely that the former Governor would end up in prison than in the White House. Perry’s campaign has been plagued by money problems. Stories have been swirling for months that he could not afford to pay his staff in the early primary states.

Gov. Perry will blame the demise of his second presidential bid on the lack of money, but the reality is that there was no interest in Rick Perry as a presidential candidate.

Perry got himself a pair of smart boy glasses and tried to remake his image, but the damage was done on that debate night in 2011. Rick Perry will officially be the first candidate out of the 2016 field.

One down, fifteen more to go.

24 Replies to “Not So Smooth Criminal: Indicted Rick Perry Drops Out Of White House Race”

  1. He will get up there to give his reasons for dropping out but he will forget two of the three reasons and the reporters will have to remind him.

    Buh bye.

  2. He’s a dumb ass; fits right in the clown car candidates they all ought to drop out; this election is the laughing stock of the world and our bought off media doesn’t get it. The Mass media of the USA are nothing more than a propaganda system for their owners.

  3. But, but, but, but, Republican Jesus told him to run. Republican God sure is fickle. Musta been the eye glasses!

  4. Absolutely. This entire nation is judged by the nonsense perpetrated by the GOP just as it was in the Bush/Chaney syndicate era. It boggles the mind that anything that comes out of Texas would think they could be accepted by the full electorate. Still everyone gets to share the embarrassment.

  5. Who’s dumber than Rick Perry? The morons that actually supported his campaign. He won’t be missed on any level. Now if only the rest would throw in the towel…

  6. And to think that his whole president-ing thing for him started with a big ol’ religious bash aimed at confirming that god really was on his side.

    “In many ways, the rally was unprecedented, even in Texas, where faith and politics have long intersected without much controversy — the governor, as both a private citizen and an elected leader, delivering a message to the Lord at a Christian prayer rally he created, while using his office’s prestige, letterhead, Web site and other resources to promote it.

    Mr. Perry said he wanted people of all faiths to attend, but Christianity dominated the service and the religious affiliations of the crowd. The prayers were given in Jesus Christ’s name, and the many musical performers sang of Christian themes of repentance and salvation.”

  7. So, who’s next? Santorum maybe? The death watch continues! Personally, I can’t wait to see Huck Schmuckabee crash and burn, but that’s a ways off.

  8. Well, it looks like Rick can count to Zero, which would equal the number of people that wants his dumb ass to be POTUS!

  9. Damn!! Are you telling me the glasses didn’t make a difference? ——————————-Uncle Donald’s take: “He thinks the glasses makes him look smarter”. That’s no way to treat a fellow Roach, is it?

  10. This joke seems self-evident, but it just dawned on me and I haven’t seen it anywhere else yet, so…

    Q. What’s the difference between Rick Perry and a stopped clock?
    A. The stopped clock is right at least once a day.

  11. And to think the people involved in this event would sit in judgement of foreign nations that also sponsor competing religious views. America’s GOP. Hypocrites to the core.

  12. “he couldn’t remember the name of the Department of Energy during a Republican debate in 2011.”

    This grifter stupid politician theme was fairly easy for bush the lessor to pull off because the country in general had never seen a total idiot put up to run for president before and just couldn’t believe georgie was really that stupid.

    By now the country has seen that act, or should I say the entire play and it was a HUGE flop!

    ricki couldn’t remember the name of the third government agency he was going to do away with when he wore the presidential cowboy boots. rickie never had a clue what any of those agencies really did he just heard from some duffus rethug friends they were bad!

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