The Palin Clan Declares War On Ted Cruz As Republicans Completely Self Destruct

Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin

Senator Ted Cruz’s spokesman Rick Tyler should have kept his big mouth shut, y’all. He’s gotten Bristol Palin back in the news, so thanks Rick. And of course her mother Sarah Palin, reality TV show person from years ago, who is this close to endorsing Republican 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump.

Never has a more perfect union been seen. A moment please.

Cruz spox Tyler warned Sarah Palin not to endorse Trump earlier today, saying such an endorsement would “be a blow to Sarah Palin.”

LOL. It’s fair to say Republicans don’t own any mirrors and thus are unaware that there is no blow lower than Sarah Palin can and has dished out upon her own self, from quitting her job as governor amidst swirling rumors and unmanaged crises and charges of violating those pesky ethics rules that are meant to keep a politician from using their position for personal gain. Clearly Alaska never saw Sarah Palin and her clan coming, because these wily people weren’t about to be stopped by stupid ethics.

The Palins have in fact gone on to profit in every way imaginable, even in ways that would be considered a “blow” by normal politicians. And when I say “normal” politicians, I am of course not referring to Ted Cruz, who can’t share the national spotlight with Sarah Palin, but only because they are both too greedy and selfish to share anything with anyone else as clever and good at pickpocketing their base.

Back to the pressing matters at hand. Having been warned off endorsing Donald Trump by Ted Cruz, who sees himself stealing the Donald’s easily manipulated base for himself once Donald implodes, Bristol Palin got angry. Ad when then Palins get mad… Well, you’ve seen the pictures. Luckily no cops were called to this as Bristol used the mighty power of the blog (even though her mother has long hated on bloggers, irony we love you today) to hit back and oh, so subtly warn Cruz – IT’S COMING AND YOU CAN BLAME YOURSELF FOR LOSING THE POWERFUL ENDORSEMENT OF THE QUEEN OF THE DEAD TEA PARTY!

You see, Bristol feels Cruz displayed “arrogance” for suggesting the (imminent, it seems, if all of this drama is for naught it will be just another Palin grab for the spotlight) Trump endorsement would be a “blow”.

Chastising Cruz for comments that she claimed “slam my mom” , Bristol evinced the Palin pettiness (in a blog on faith, naturally) that she hopes her mom will indeed endorse Trump just out of revenge, because this is all about the Palin ego and not who might actually run this country.

“After hearing what Cruz is now saying about my mom, in a negative knee-jerk reaction, makes me hope my mom does endorse Trump.”

Remember when anyone who didn’t support Sarah Palin was a sexist? Well, that show is over and since she didn’t win, totes forgotten. Now anyone is better than Hillary Clinton. You know, ‘cuz Hillary Clinton is a winner and the Palins hate winners. It hurts to see a woman whose daughter has actually weathered far more real personal attacks from high level Republicans and conservatives making a go at the White House. Not because it was wrong to attack Chelsea Clinton, but because Palin seems to think she’s the Only Victim in the country.

So Bristol reminded Ted Cruz of this thing called “loyalty”, a thing Sarah Palin does not apply to the man (another Senator and one who, by the way, can’t stand Ted Cruz) who championed her and put her on the Republican ticket in 2008:

I like Cruz. In fact, I met him last year, and I believe anyone’s better than Hilary Clinton. But here’s the thing, Sen. Cruz. My mom has consistently supported you and encouraged you. You’ve been a great advocate for conservative causes, and she’s stood by you when others haven’t.

From the people who used their reality TV show to sneer at Michelle Obama for caring about what kids are eating in this country, Bristol Palin is now outraged at the idea of anyone being rude in return to her mother. I mean, hello. Blood libel, Ted Cruz. Watch your step, Senator. Bristol charged, “Cruz’s flip-flop, turning against my mom who’s done nothing but support and help him when others sure didn’t, shows he’s a typical politician. How rude to that he’s setting up a false narrative about her!”

I didn’t go to Harvard Law School, but I know this: You can like two people in a race, but there will only one president.

The audacity to suggest that because she chooses one over the other will somehow “damage” her just shows arrogance.

You’ve also said, “She can pick winners!” I hope you’re right, and that she endorses Donald Trump today for President.

You mess with a Palin and you are going to have your education thrown in your face as a bad thing, sooner rather than later. Nothing gets the Palin/Trump base fired up more than attacking the educated. God knows we wouldn’t want someone who knows anything to be in charge of the world.

Bristol’s blog post is pure vintage Palin. Self pity, resentment, and promises of vengeance.

There will be no grace shown. Sarah Palin will endorse Donald Trump out of pure spite, as any American patriot would when it comes to the running of the free world.

But also — Ted Cruz should have know better. Donald Trump slyly offered the Department of Energy to Sarah Palin, or rather, let her think he would. What is Ted Cruz offering Palin? This is all about what Palin gets and if it includes access to cameras all the better.

Cruz is already trying to water down the warning with a tweet that doesn’t take it back but is meant to appease the Palin evangelical base that he relies on to pad his wallet:

Will she or won’t she?

Stay tuned as the Palins take this brief moment in the sun to remind you all why you are so glad McCain/Palin didn’t win in 2008, and why in fact the Republican Party needs a timeout. For real.